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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asked for help in ASDA and she had a breakdown.

294 replies

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 12:54

Not sure what I'm asking about being unreasonable for, but am I unreasonable to be shocked?

So it was my fault. I had gotten round and started scanning things on the self checkout after having done my whole shop and realised I had take my card out of my pocket and left it on the side at home. I'm a single mum with a condition which affects my memory, so I have to check 100 times for things before I leave the house but this morning DD was taking her time getting ready for school and I was being picked up by a local minibus service as soon as I had dropped her off and was in a rush.

But I had some ASDA vouchers on my phone from free school meals for the holidays and £7 in cash as I had had a 10 euro note lying around and had cashed it in at the beaureu de change booth. (Remembered that but couldn't remember my card!). My phone doesn't let me do that google pay thing, as it isn't a good enough phone.

I explained to the supervisor that I wanted to cancel my order and put some bits back and he took me to the customer services, but the lady was talking to some of her friends for ages. Eventually I explained to her the situation and told her that I wanted to just scan enough for £37 and put the rest back. She didn't help me figure it out, but just cancelled what I scanned so far.

So I went and grabbed one of those scan and go things as I have an account with them, so I could add up the most important parts of my shopping and put back anything over £37.

Anyway, after I had spent about half an hour doing this, I had 15 minutes left until the minibus was leaving and I went over to the bit to pay for scan and go. As I never use cash, I didn't know that you couldn't pay for cash at the scan and go bit, as it doesn't actually say that when you queue up, and I'd never tried to before, so it wasn't something that crossed my mind.

I scanned the vouchers I had on my phone and had £5.53 left to pay. It was only then that I noticed that there was nowhere on the machine to put cash into.

So I called for assistance to explain, thinking they could maybe transfer my payment over to customer services for me to pay the rest in cash, or help me re-scan everything in the self service bit.

When a different girl came over this time, I calmly explained the situation and she looked at the screen and got really stressy, saying she didn't know what to do, as I'd used gift vouchers for some of my shopping. So she asked for help on her headset and I think they told her to find a supervisor and she stomped off (I think they said this, because she walked over to the cash registers and the ladies on the minibus later mentioned in passing, that they had gotten the supervisors to man the cash registers as it was a bit busier than usual).

As she was stomping off, a lady with limited english was trying to get to the self service tills for trolleys and she was getting aggravated at them for walking through the scan and go to get to the self scan for trolleys, next to it. Kept shouting at them to leave the scan and go back around to get into the two person queue, but they didn't understand. She had a huge loud huff about it, threw her arms up and walked off.

But on her way to the cash registers, she let out a huge shout and said "I'm OUT", and kicked her headset angrily across the floor. I don't know if she threw it on the floor or if it fell off her head first, before she kicked it. I wasn't watching I only looked up and saw her because of her shouting and huffing.

Then she walked past me and in the opposite direction to the customer service desk, and never came back. A lady who had witnessed it all (customer) looked and me and said "I'm standing back", as this staff member had been so angry walking past her.

There was no one left in the scan and go area, and I couldn't press the button again for assistance, as she hadn't scanned her pass to reset it. I couldn't just cancel the transaction and go to self scan as I had already scanned my vouchers on my phone and would have lost them.

After about 5 minutes, another worker came into the scan and go and started helping other people. I asked her if the girl was coming back and she said 'no.' I said 'did she just quit?' and she said 'no, she just...' and kinda sighed with exasperation. I asked her for help and she looked at the screen and said 'yeah i know', and scanned her pass to reset the assistance screen and walked off. I had to wait for her to finish with new customers and then asked her for help again and she got really annoyed at me and said 'it's because you can't use cash here'. I calmly said, 'yes I know, but it was a mistake, I didn't realise.' She walked off again. I was about to just leave my £5.53 cash at the customer services desk and walk out, as I'd been standing there for ten minutes now waiting for help, and the minibus was due to leave, when the man next to me (who was also annoyed as he had just been made to re-scan his entire shop for picking up 2 different flavours of hams on an offer, instead of 2 the same) paid for me on his card and I gave him my cash. So the staff were refusing to help me otherwise.

I know I created the situation with my forgetfulness and not realising I couldn't pay cash until too late, but surely there's a better way to handle someone having made a mistake and asking for help to pay. They were all huffing and puffing about having to help customers, and normally they're just standing around chatting, so it seemed like they just didn't like having to engage with people for that busy day.

I was wondering if I should complain, but maybe the girl who shouted and kicked her headset across the shop after my request blew her mind, had been having a bad moment in her life.

OP posts:
VeneziaJ · 28/03/2024 15:10

This is exactly why I have apple pay! I dont always (rarely) remember my cards but I always have my phone with me! I suggest if you can you upgrade the phone and download apple pay or google pay (Android) you do not need a particularly fancy phone and can get second hand if money is tight

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 15:10

There's nothing wrong with my writing style! 80 percent of people who commented had no issue understanding the situation. I wrote everything clearly and in order.

I added every single detail I could think of, because some mumsnetters would be picking holes in something somewhere or trying to accuse me of making something up- because xyz didn't match their interpretation of how they read abc. So I wrote every little tiny detail of my shopping experience, so that that could be avoided! But it's a good lesson, that you can never win on mumsnet, so don't bother trying! I even added the euros information, because I knew there'd be someone saying 'why did you have cash, but not your card?'.

You can't write your experience to shape every single person's ability to dissect information- I'm not a specific newspaper, targeting a specific audience!

OP posts:
Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 15:10

VeneziaJ · 28/03/2024 15:10

This is exactly why I have apple pay! I dont always (rarely) remember my cards but I always have my phone with me! I suggest if you can you upgrade the phone and download apple pay or google pay (Android) you do not need a particularly fancy phone and can get second hand if money is tight

I haven't got any spare cash, but thanks for the suggestion!

OP posts:
PurpleChrayn · 28/03/2024 15:12

Jesus Christ, just shop online...

neilyoungismyhero · 28/03/2024 15:13

Customers like the woman who wouldn't queue and yourself are quite frankly bloody nightmares. You're not sorting yourself out at home and then not looking properly at what you're doing in the store then expecting it all to be sorted in the blink of an eye..
They're all on just over minimum wage and expected to take all the crap customers give them plus unhelpful senior management don't support them.
Sort yourself out next time before you shop.

FigAndOlive · 28/03/2024 15:13

I can't believe so many people are finding this ok. Yes, you made a mistake, that happens, they could at least politely say the system does not allow to cancel the vouchers or whatever, give you some kind of closure. From what you described you are not frustrated they didn't solve your problem, it is the overall terrible attitude towards a customer. I won't be rude to staff because I am having a bad day, so it is not acceptable she behaved this way around you, the standards these days are ridiculous, honestly. If your mental health or whatever cannot cope with face to face customer services jobs you should find another job, simples as that.

Anguish · 28/03/2024 15:15

Why would you complain? Those people are paid monopoly money and do God's work, just leave her be. It's okay for her to have a bad day OP.

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 15:16

neilyoungismyhero · 28/03/2024 15:13

Customers like the woman who wouldn't queue and yourself are quite frankly bloody nightmares. You're not sorting yourself out at home and then not looking properly at what you're doing in the store then expecting it all to be sorted in the blink of an eye..
They're all on just over minimum wage and expected to take all the crap customers give them plus unhelpful senior management don't support them.
Sort yourself out next time before you shop.

👏👏👏 have you thought about being a life coach?

the amount of people in life, triggered by someone with memory issues and not realising a machine wasn't built a certain way...

OP posts:
Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 15:17

neilyoungismyhero · 28/03/2024 15:13

Customers like the woman who wouldn't queue and yourself are quite frankly bloody nightmares. You're not sorting yourself out at home and then not looking properly at what you're doing in the store then expecting it all to be sorted in the blink of an eye..
They're all on just over minimum wage and expected to take all the crap customers give them plus unhelpful senior management don't support them.
Sort yourself out next time before you shop.

nowhere did i say she wouldn't queue. she was trying to queue but going the wrong way to get into the queue and didn't understand english enough to understand her mistake. showing your bigotry much?

OP posts:
diddl · 28/03/2024 15:24

What a situation.

It should be clearly marked before you enter the scan & go area what the payment methods are.

I used one yesterday.

Couldn't find the bread on the screen-employee pointed out the barcode.

Couldn't get it to scan-she then pointed out the hand held scanner at the side to use!

I first used one years ago & it took cash.

Might not occur to me that that's not an option any more.

It does sound as if the employee one left wasn't getting the help she needed but what a reaction!

Dulra · 28/03/2024 15:25

YANBU and people who think it's acceptable to have so much trouble just trying to buy your groceries are unreasonable. I am sick of the no cash accepted, scan your own shopping, pack your stuff and don't dare ask for help supermarkets. I am glad you had a reasonable person next to you who had the cop on to use his card so you could leave the shop and catch your bus.
I genuinely think people now have completely lost the ability to think outside the box, too reliant on computers doing everything they can't just sort out what was a pretty simple issue. I also think we should as consumers start rejecting this push for no cash transactions, cash is legal tender and the only people that are benefitting from its demise are the banks.

Mummame2222 · 28/03/2024 15:26

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 15:10

There's nothing wrong with my writing style! 80 percent of people who commented had no issue understanding the situation. I wrote everything clearly and in order.

I added every single detail I could think of, because some mumsnetters would be picking holes in something somewhere or trying to accuse me of making something up- because xyz didn't match their interpretation of how they read abc. So I wrote every little tiny detail of my shopping experience, so that that could be avoided! But it's a good lesson, that you can never win on mumsnet, so don't bother trying! I even added the euros information, because I knew there'd be someone saying 'why did you have cash, but not your card?'.

You can't write your experience to shape every single person's ability to dissect information- I'm not a specific newspaper, targeting a specific audience!

I understood but it’s not great. If you want to complain I’d take some time to write it up a bit better.

Patrickiscrazy · 28/03/2024 15:28

NotQuiteNorma · 28/03/2024 13:26

Says it all really.

Yes!

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 15:29

Mummame2222 · 28/03/2024 15:26

I understood but it’s not great. If you want to complain I’d take some time to write it up a bit better.

You do know that I'm in no way writing on here to try and win the Laurie Lee Prize for Literary, don't you?

OP posts:
Allfur · 28/03/2024 15:33

I quite enjoyed your writing style! Could you get your shopping delivered? Supermarkets are a nightmare

Mummame2222 · 28/03/2024 15:36

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 15:29

You do know that I'm in no way writing on here to try and win the Laurie Lee Prize for Literary, don't you?

Yes, that’s fairly obvious lol.

gettingbackonit23 · 28/03/2024 15:40

Couldn’t you just make it shorter by saying you left your card at home but had £37 in cash and vouchers? Without the long back story.

slore · 28/03/2024 15:40

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 15:10

There's nothing wrong with my writing style! 80 percent of people who commented had no issue understanding the situation. I wrote everything clearly and in order.

I added every single detail I could think of, because some mumsnetters would be picking holes in something somewhere or trying to accuse me of making something up- because xyz didn't match their interpretation of how they read abc. So I wrote every little tiny detail of my shopping experience, so that that could be avoided! But it's a good lesson, that you can never win on mumsnet, so don't bother trying! I even added the euros information, because I knew there'd be someone saying 'why did you have cash, but not your card?'.

You can't write your experience to shape every single person's ability to dissect information- I'm not a specific newspaper, targeting a specific audience!

You didn't write anything wrong! If you'd left anything out then added it later, you'd be accused of "drip-feeding".

In answer to your question, loads of people mess up at self-service tills. It's not your fault. That's what staff are paid to help for. Whatever else may going on in their lives is not your concern. everyone is stressed, it's not special, and they're not entitled to take it out on customers.

So yes, you should complain, and maybe leave a bad review. Bad customer service sounds like a persistent problem at this one particular shop.

Devilshands · 28/03/2024 15:43

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 12:58

Probably some staff training! I worked in a supermarket when I was younger and I would have been sacked if I'd behaved that way.

I was recording a voice note a few months (yes I know, awfully lazy of me), and on the recording you could hear a member of staff in Waitrose call a colleague a 'fucking r.' I didn't even notice when I was doing the recording as I was focussed on scanning items and speaking, but you could hear it over my voice - my friend pointed it out.As it was on WhatsApp I saved it once she said and sent it into them. They did literally nothing. Member of staff is still there. Still in a management position.

Ultimately, customer service is about the company not the customer. No matter what you complain about, they won't do anything. So it's not even worth the effort.

slore · 28/03/2024 15:44

gettingbackonit23 · 28/03/2024 15:40

Couldn’t you just make it shorter by saying you left your card at home but had £37 in cash and vouchers? Without the long back story.

People with memory problems tend to be disorganized thinkers.

It's ironic that this thread is full of compassion and understanding for the imaginary life problems of the rude and unpleasant staff, while ripping OP to shreds for her writing ability.

Anxioustealady · 28/03/2024 15:48

Why not just forget about it and move on? I feel sorry for the lady working in the shop.

CreateYourOwnUsername · 28/03/2024 15:50

I've done these sorts of jobs not even very long ago. My last waitressing job was about 2 years ago. I definitely think people working with the public have a shitty time of it and the general public can be so rude. I work in a big secondary school and it's the same there. Kids and, (even worse), their parents can be very entitled and try to be intimidating and aggressive to get their own way ugh 😒.

However, I think there are people in retail now who have absolutely no business doing those jobs. It is utterly bizarre to kick a headset across the floor in front of a supermarket full of people. I can only imagine it's a horrible place to work, she hasn't had any training and is just totally unsuited to working with the public.

takemeawayagain · 28/03/2024 15:51

I understood your post perfectly OP. I would just concentrate on what you can do for yourself though. Take measures to put things in place so that you don't forget vital things when you go out the door if you can.

SignoraVolpe · 28/03/2024 15:54

I understood your post.
Supermarkets want to save money by getting customers to do the work but imo it just makes everything take longer.
Asda is rubbish with online shopping, ddil one Christmas was delivered the worst quality food I’ve ever seen!

TokyoSushi · 28/03/2024 15:54

So you went to one till, scanned your shopping through, then realised you didn't have your card, then you went to customer services, had the transaction cancelled and stood there scanning shopping to add up to £37. Then you went to the scan & shop, but only had cash so couldn't use that till either...

Who put away the extra shopping that you couldn't buy?

OP, surely you can see why the situation was a little irritating... I think everybody was having a bad day and it should be left at that.