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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asked for help in ASDA and she had a breakdown.

294 replies

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 12:54

Not sure what I'm asking about being unreasonable for, but am I unreasonable to be shocked?

So it was my fault. I had gotten round and started scanning things on the self checkout after having done my whole shop and realised I had take my card out of my pocket and left it on the side at home. I'm a single mum with a condition which affects my memory, so I have to check 100 times for things before I leave the house but this morning DD was taking her time getting ready for school and I was being picked up by a local minibus service as soon as I had dropped her off and was in a rush.

But I had some ASDA vouchers on my phone from free school meals for the holidays and £7 in cash as I had had a 10 euro note lying around and had cashed it in at the beaureu de change booth. (Remembered that but couldn't remember my card!). My phone doesn't let me do that google pay thing, as it isn't a good enough phone.

I explained to the supervisor that I wanted to cancel my order and put some bits back and he took me to the customer services, but the lady was talking to some of her friends for ages. Eventually I explained to her the situation and told her that I wanted to just scan enough for £37 and put the rest back. She didn't help me figure it out, but just cancelled what I scanned so far.

So I went and grabbed one of those scan and go things as I have an account with them, so I could add up the most important parts of my shopping and put back anything over £37.

Anyway, after I had spent about half an hour doing this, I had 15 minutes left until the minibus was leaving and I went over to the bit to pay for scan and go. As I never use cash, I didn't know that you couldn't pay for cash at the scan and go bit, as it doesn't actually say that when you queue up, and I'd never tried to before, so it wasn't something that crossed my mind.

I scanned the vouchers I had on my phone and had £5.53 left to pay. It was only then that I noticed that there was nowhere on the machine to put cash into.

So I called for assistance to explain, thinking they could maybe transfer my payment over to customer services for me to pay the rest in cash, or help me re-scan everything in the self service bit.

When a different girl came over this time, I calmly explained the situation and she looked at the screen and got really stressy, saying she didn't know what to do, as I'd used gift vouchers for some of my shopping. So she asked for help on her headset and I think they told her to find a supervisor and she stomped off (I think they said this, because she walked over to the cash registers and the ladies on the minibus later mentioned in passing, that they had gotten the supervisors to man the cash registers as it was a bit busier than usual).

As she was stomping off, a lady with limited english was trying to get to the self service tills for trolleys and she was getting aggravated at them for walking through the scan and go to get to the self scan for trolleys, next to it. Kept shouting at them to leave the scan and go back around to get into the two person queue, but they didn't understand. She had a huge loud huff about it, threw her arms up and walked off.

But on her way to the cash registers, she let out a huge shout and said "I'm OUT", and kicked her headset angrily across the floor. I don't know if she threw it on the floor or if it fell off her head first, before she kicked it. I wasn't watching I only looked up and saw her because of her shouting and huffing.

Then she walked past me and in the opposite direction to the customer service desk, and never came back. A lady who had witnessed it all (customer) looked and me and said "I'm standing back", as this staff member had been so angry walking past her.

There was no one left in the scan and go area, and I couldn't press the button again for assistance, as she hadn't scanned her pass to reset it. I couldn't just cancel the transaction and go to self scan as I had already scanned my vouchers on my phone and would have lost them.

After about 5 minutes, another worker came into the scan and go and started helping other people. I asked her if the girl was coming back and she said 'no.' I said 'did she just quit?' and she said 'no, she just...' and kinda sighed with exasperation. I asked her for help and she looked at the screen and said 'yeah i know', and scanned her pass to reset the assistance screen and walked off. I had to wait for her to finish with new customers and then asked her for help again and she got really annoyed at me and said 'it's because you can't use cash here'. I calmly said, 'yes I know, but it was a mistake, I didn't realise.' She walked off again. I was about to just leave my £5.53 cash at the customer services desk and walk out, as I'd been standing there for ten minutes now waiting for help, and the minibus was due to leave, when the man next to me (who was also annoyed as he had just been made to re-scan his entire shop for picking up 2 different flavours of hams on an offer, instead of 2 the same) paid for me on his card and I gave him my cash. So the staff were refusing to help me otherwise.

I know I created the situation with my forgetfulness and not realising I couldn't pay cash until too late, but surely there's a better way to handle someone having made a mistake and asking for help to pay. They were all huffing and puffing about having to help customers, and normally they're just standing around chatting, so it seemed like they just didn't like having to engage with people for that busy day.

I was wondering if I should complain, but maybe the girl who shouted and kicked her headset across the shop after my request blew her mind, had been having a bad moment in her life.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 28/03/2024 14:51

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 14:38

i don't have a car. i was there on a weekly minibus service for people with disabilities and the elderly.

Then void the whole transaction and reshop with your £37.

Online ordering would be better for you perhaps.

Doteycat · 28/03/2024 14:52

justasking111 · 28/03/2024 14:49

Well I don't respond to potty mouths like you or hysterical supermarket workers

Clearly you do.
Seek help. You sound awful.

CammyChameleon · 28/03/2024 14:52

I would be upset, but I wouldn't complain about the worker who had a breakdown, especially as you've said the workers in the shop always seem to have an air of stress/depression about them.

That description makes me think of a branch of a chain I used to work for - we went there for training sometimes - which was managed by a bullying twat. Staff used to walk out, never come back from their cigarette breaks etc. One of them got offered a job at our branch right after walking out and he was a good worker and nice bloke who stayed there for years!

Her breakdown wasn't personal to you, and I don't think even she thought it was your fault. It sounds like her not being given help (and possibly spoken to like crap for needing it) probably for the umpteenth time made her lose it. If it's happened several times, other customers have probably not been as cool as you and been nasty to her over it.

justasking111 · 28/03/2024 14:52

Carelesswispalover · 28/03/2024 14:50

I agree people have been so harsh to the OP, probably most of them unfulfilled supermarket workers who think it's ok to treat people like shit.
And I say that as someone who worked in a supermarket for 6 years, and always showed as much compassion as I could.
OP please complain to Asda head office, they need to be be called out for this behaviour.

So compassion for the customer trumps compassion for the supermarket employee?

Carelesswispalover · 28/03/2024 14:53

justasking111 · 28/03/2024 14:51

Then void the whole transaction and reshop with your £37.

Online ordering would be better for you perhaps.

Oh so people with disabilities shouldn't be bothering supermarkets with their issues, is that what you're saying????

WhatNoRaisins · 28/03/2024 14:53

I've chatted to friends who live rurally without amenities and they all say you have to be super organised. It must be a nightmare in your situation OP if you don't have the cognitive ability to be that organised but you don't have a local supermarket that you can walk back from to get your card and then carry on.

TitusMoan · 28/03/2024 14:54

TurtleMoon · 28/03/2024 14:35

OP has a brain condition. It doesn't seem implausible that this would affect her ability to recount a story concisely. Ironically, if you had "sifted out the relevant facts", you'd have known this.

Seriously, learn to show some compassion...

Not everything is pathological you know

Doteycat · 28/03/2024 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

colouredball · 28/03/2024 14:57

@TurtleMoon

OP has a brain condition.

OP said she had a condition which affects her memory. That could be a whole host of things.

justasking111 · 28/03/2024 14:58

WhatNoRaisins · 28/03/2024 14:53

I've chatted to friends who live rurally without amenities and they all say you have to be super organised. It must be a nightmare in your situation OP if you don't have the cognitive ability to be that organised but you don't have a local supermarket that you can walk back from to get your card and then carry on.

I'm rural, no buses, no help, which is why online shopping has transformed many lives. You can get shopping, medicine delivered now never mind Amazon Etc

justasking111 · 28/03/2024 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Buy a dictionary to broaden your vocabulary.

TurtleMoon · 28/03/2024 15:00

TitusMoan · 28/03/2024 14:54

Not everything is pathological you know

What does that mean? Even if OP wrote a convoluted post for reasons unrelated to her condition, there's no need to be unpleasant about it. Your tone is very condescending, if not scathing. OP has had an unpleasant experience, clearly doesn't have the easiest life (reliant on organised transport, a memory condition, in receipt of FSM vouchers etc etc), and you decide to stick the boot in over her writing style. I'm by no means a fan of the "be kind" trend, but you're just being rude for no reason.

MammaTo · 28/03/2024 15:01

Just chalk it up to one of those days. Not a big deal IMO.

Thegoodbadandugly · 28/03/2024 15:01

It might be better to get your shopping delivered op.

justasking111 · 28/03/2024 15:01

Carelesswispalover · 28/03/2024 14:53

Oh so people with disabilities shouldn't be bothering supermarkets with their issues, is that what you're saying????

No I'm saying online shopping is a godsend for many people including me with my health issues.

colouredball · 28/03/2024 15:01

LolaJ87 · 28/03/2024 14:30

People are really going hard at someone who says in the OP that SHE HAS A BRAIN INJURY.

Not everyone processes things the same way and some people need help sometimes, that's why there are customer service staff. Some of the attitudes here are disgusting.

Unless I have missed it, OP has not disclosed the condition which affects her memory?

TurtleMoon · 28/03/2024 15:03

colouredball · 28/03/2024 14:57

@TurtleMoon

OP has a brain condition.

OP said she had a condition which affects her memory. That could be a whole host of things.

Yeah, I noticed after posting that OP herself hadn't actually said brain condition, just memory condition. Still, this could also affect how she recounts stories, so my general point is still valid.

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 15:04

Thegoodbadandugly · 28/03/2024 15:01

It might be better to get your shopping delivered op.

I used to but they'd always send me mouldy fruit/veg and the pickers would grab everything that was about to go off the next day. Nothing lasts the full week- bread would go mouldy in two or three days, and I don't always need a £40 shop, which is the minimum, and lots of the things would be missing from the shop, even though they always have them in store. Same store. I can't afford Sainsbury's or Tesco to get their deliveries.

OP posts:
chocolatemademefat · 28/03/2024 15:05

As you’re no doubt discovering you’ll get little sympathy on here. You were treated badly and are well within your rights to complain. You don’t have to simplify your post - you’re free to give as many details as you feel necessary.

the staff member may well have been having a bad day - what did that have to do with you? She’s paid to help you and was unable and unfit to do the job. If some of the keyboard warriors on here had received that level of service I very much doubt they’d be making excuses for her.

i hope you’re feeling better now and vote with your feet and shop elsewhere.

Trixiefirecracker · 28/03/2024 15:05

I mean I work in a customer facing role and can not begin to tell you how many dickheads we have to put up with. Maybe it was the straw that broke the camels back? Maybe she had the worst day ever or something awful happened at home. People have lives outside of serving customers. I think it could have all been handled better but we are not perfect and trying to make sure you are more organised and aware of the card/cash situation might help.

Carelesswispalover · 28/03/2024 15:05

Who fucking cares if she has any condition, she should be treated with respect and not like some nuisance, as we all should. If all people start ordering online and stop going to supermarkets, how long do you reckon the workers jobs will last, they're all basically on zero hours contracts as it is without driving actual customers away.
If you don't have the patience for people, go find a different job that doesn't involve people, end of.

Theunamedcat · 28/03/2024 15:07

justasking111 · 28/03/2024 14:51

Then void the whole transaction and reshop with your £37.

Online ordering would be better for you perhaps.

That takes a staff member to do that and she had vouchers you can't easily do that with a voucher without losing it

Carelesswispalover · 28/03/2024 15:07

Sorry OP, I don't mean it doesn't matter if you have a condition or not, what I mean is it shouldn't matter when you're trying to get your shopping. Everyone should be treated with respect. And I understand that there are dickhead customers, but that doesn't mean you treat the nice ones badly either.

Doteycat · 28/03/2024 15:07

justasking111 · 28/03/2024 14:59

Buy a dictionary to broaden your vocabulary.

Stop trying to deflect from your disgusting attittude. Me using the word fuck is nothing compared to your nasty nasty attitude.
Bullies usually try that tactic.

ClemmyTine · 28/03/2024 15:07

There are some weird people about..