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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asked for help in ASDA and she had a breakdown.

294 replies

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 12:54

Not sure what I'm asking about being unreasonable for, but am I unreasonable to be shocked?

So it was my fault. I had gotten round and started scanning things on the self checkout after having done my whole shop and realised I had take my card out of my pocket and left it on the side at home. I'm a single mum with a condition which affects my memory, so I have to check 100 times for things before I leave the house but this morning DD was taking her time getting ready for school and I was being picked up by a local minibus service as soon as I had dropped her off and was in a rush.

But I had some ASDA vouchers on my phone from free school meals for the holidays and £7 in cash as I had had a 10 euro note lying around and had cashed it in at the beaureu de change booth. (Remembered that but couldn't remember my card!). My phone doesn't let me do that google pay thing, as it isn't a good enough phone.

I explained to the supervisor that I wanted to cancel my order and put some bits back and he took me to the customer services, but the lady was talking to some of her friends for ages. Eventually I explained to her the situation and told her that I wanted to just scan enough for £37 and put the rest back. She didn't help me figure it out, but just cancelled what I scanned so far.

So I went and grabbed one of those scan and go things as I have an account with them, so I could add up the most important parts of my shopping and put back anything over £37.

Anyway, after I had spent about half an hour doing this, I had 15 minutes left until the minibus was leaving and I went over to the bit to pay for scan and go. As I never use cash, I didn't know that you couldn't pay for cash at the scan and go bit, as it doesn't actually say that when you queue up, and I'd never tried to before, so it wasn't something that crossed my mind.

I scanned the vouchers I had on my phone and had £5.53 left to pay. It was only then that I noticed that there was nowhere on the machine to put cash into.

So I called for assistance to explain, thinking they could maybe transfer my payment over to customer services for me to pay the rest in cash, or help me re-scan everything in the self service bit.

When a different girl came over this time, I calmly explained the situation and she looked at the screen and got really stressy, saying she didn't know what to do, as I'd used gift vouchers for some of my shopping. So she asked for help on her headset and I think they told her to find a supervisor and she stomped off (I think they said this, because she walked over to the cash registers and the ladies on the minibus later mentioned in passing, that they had gotten the supervisors to man the cash registers as it was a bit busier than usual).

As she was stomping off, a lady with limited english was trying to get to the self service tills for trolleys and she was getting aggravated at them for walking through the scan and go to get to the self scan for trolleys, next to it. Kept shouting at them to leave the scan and go back around to get into the two person queue, but they didn't understand. She had a huge loud huff about it, threw her arms up and walked off.

But on her way to the cash registers, she let out a huge shout and said "I'm OUT", and kicked her headset angrily across the floor. I don't know if she threw it on the floor or if it fell off her head first, before she kicked it. I wasn't watching I only looked up and saw her because of her shouting and huffing.

Then she walked past me and in the opposite direction to the customer service desk, and never came back. A lady who had witnessed it all (customer) looked and me and said "I'm standing back", as this staff member had been so angry walking past her.

There was no one left in the scan and go area, and I couldn't press the button again for assistance, as she hadn't scanned her pass to reset it. I couldn't just cancel the transaction and go to self scan as I had already scanned my vouchers on my phone and would have lost them.

After about 5 minutes, another worker came into the scan and go and started helping other people. I asked her if the girl was coming back and she said 'no.' I said 'did she just quit?' and she said 'no, she just...' and kinda sighed with exasperation. I asked her for help and she looked at the screen and said 'yeah i know', and scanned her pass to reset the assistance screen and walked off. I had to wait for her to finish with new customers and then asked her for help again and she got really annoyed at me and said 'it's because you can't use cash here'. I calmly said, 'yes I know, but it was a mistake, I didn't realise.' She walked off again. I was about to just leave my £5.53 cash at the customer services desk and walk out, as I'd been standing there for ten minutes now waiting for help, and the minibus was due to leave, when the man next to me (who was also annoyed as he had just been made to re-scan his entire shop for picking up 2 different flavours of hams on an offer, instead of 2 the same) paid for me on his card and I gave him my cash. So the staff were refusing to help me otherwise.

I know I created the situation with my forgetfulness and not realising I couldn't pay cash until too late, but surely there's a better way to handle someone having made a mistake and asking for help to pay. They were all huffing and puffing about having to help customers, and normally they're just standing around chatting, so it seemed like they just didn't like having to engage with people for that busy day.

I was wondering if I should complain, but maybe the girl who shouted and kicked her headset across the shop after my request blew her mind, had been having a bad moment in her life.

OP posts:
NotQuiteNorma · 28/03/2024 13:28

colouredball · 28/03/2024 13:21

I agree, it's a really long story

Yeah, most of which had nothing to do with the actual point.

InTheTimeItTookMeToEatAnEggSandwich · 28/03/2024 13:29

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 12:58

Probably some staff training! I worked in a supermarket when I was younger and I would have been sacked if I'd behaved that way.

I’m just going to suggest that, whilst her actions were awful, it seems likely she has something larger going on and the issue you called her for has exceeded her limit to cope.
I’d leave it tbh, but that’s because of my own horrendous issues which have left me pretty close to doing what she did, although I don’t work in a supermarket.

iwishiwasonhol · 28/03/2024 13:30

i would have paused your transaction and advised you to go to a cash till put what cash you had on a gift card then return and use the gift card to pay the balance,if it wasnt busy i would have done it for you

Mummame2222 · 28/03/2024 13:31

You didn’t create this situation. You tried to rectify your mistake and Asda created this situation by it being so bloody difficult to pay with cash these days.

You didn’t even get a decent apology after shocking behaviour from the staff. Yes, you should definitely complain.

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:32

iwishiwasonhol · 28/03/2024 13:30

i would have paused your transaction and advised you to go to a cash till put what cash you had on a gift card then return and use the gift card to pay the balance,if it wasnt busy i would have done it for you

Edited

That's a great idea!

OP posts:
Mummame2222 · 28/03/2024 13:32

InTheTimeItTookMeToEatAnEggSandwich · 28/03/2024 13:29

I’m just going to suggest that, whilst her actions were awful, it seems likely she has something larger going on and the issue you called her for has exceeded her limit to cope.
I’d leave it tbh, but that’s because of my own horrendous issues which have left me pretty close to doing what she did, although I don’t work in a supermarket.

whilst I can empathise there are consequences for behaving like this regardless of your personal circumstances.

MissyB1 · 28/03/2024 13:33

Mummame2222 · 28/03/2024 13:31

You didn’t create this situation. You tried to rectify your mistake and Asda created this situation by it being so bloody difficult to pay with cash these days.

You didn’t even get a decent apology after shocking behaviour from the staff. Yes, you should definitely complain.

I agree.

LolaSmiles · 28/03/2024 13:34

It sounds like there's an annoying combination of an unhelpful and unprofessional staff member (person who kicked a headset) and a customer who wasn't organised for their shopping trip, and wasn't paying attention.

It's not the supermarket staff members' fault you forgot your payment method, and it's not their fault it took half an hour to re-scan your shopping. Why would it be a member of staff's job to stand with you and help remove individual items to get to amount you can spend?

It's quite common for self service tills to say that some are card only, whereas others allow card and cash.

The customer service sounds poor, but the overall approach to the shop sounds chaotic to me.

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:36

Mummame2222 · 28/03/2024 13:32

whilst I can empathise there are consequences for behaving like this regardless of your personal circumstances.

It's hard isn't it? 'Be kind' has us all suggesting we put up with certain behaviours because of peoples' personal issues, but then that means we take the brunt of their heavy load for ourselves and condition ourselves to just tolerate abusive behaviour everywhere.

I'm wondering what the consensus would be if it was a man displaying that level of aggression around my query.

I'm not saying those suggesting to not complain, are wrong, just pondering it all.

OP posts:
InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 28/03/2024 13:36

Honestly, I would just forget about it, sounds like she was having a bad day, you forgot your card/didn't read the signs so pissed her off and she took it badly, it happens.

You know now so it won't happen again.

JMSA · 28/03/2024 13:37

What an unnecessarily long post. Annoying.

NotQuiteNorma · 28/03/2024 13:37

To be fair I'd probably have a breakdown too after what I've just read.

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:38

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 28/03/2024 13:36

Honestly, I would just forget about it, sounds like she was having a bad day, you forgot your card/didn't read the signs so pissed her off and she took it badly, it happens.

You know now so it won't happen again.

I did say in my OP that there was no sign saying 'card only', for the scan and go.

OP posts:
Janetsmug · 28/03/2024 13:39

Sorry OP, your thread seems to have summoned all the arseholes MN has to offer for some reason! I didn't struggle to follow your post and I'm sorry you had such a shitty experience, you didn't deserve any of it.

I would complain about the situation as a whole and give a factual account of how the staff behaved. Store management can't do anything about problems they don't know about and it definitely sounds as though there are problems in that particular store.

Hope your day improves and please try to remember the golden rule of MN, take what is useful to you from the replies and completely ignore the rest, some people can't resist being knobs when they can hide behind a screen Flowers

5128gap · 28/03/2024 13:41

I think it was just bad luck that you happened to need a lot of help on a day when a member of staff had an 'incident', which I'd imagine took other staff as much by surprise as it did customers. I don't think I'd be drawing any conclusion about the store from the behaviour of one employee acting in an extreme and unusual manner. I doubt its behaviour that is either the norm or condoned.

Octavia64 · 28/03/2024 13:42

It does sound complicated.

Basically you went food shopping without either cash or your card to pay for it.

Once you realised you'd forgotten customer services cancelled your shop so you could go round again and decide what you did want with the vouchers and coins you had in you.

You weren't happy with how long it took to see someone at customer services. You could complain about that but I doubt they'll do anything. What she actually did was reasonable.

You went round and picked up food to the value of the vouchers and the cash you had. You then chose a way to check out that doesn't take cash.

The assistant at that point is going to find it hard to help you as most solutions will involve you using an alternative payment method which you didn't have.

Again, you can complain about her behaviour. In her position I would probably have cancelled the transaction and sent you to a manned till but maybe you wouldn't have liked that if your lift was leaving soon.

Can you put a card in your phone case?

Most of this would be avoided if you had had a way if paying on you.

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:42

Janetsmug · 28/03/2024 13:39

Sorry OP, your thread seems to have summoned all the arseholes MN has to offer for some reason! I didn't struggle to follow your post and I'm sorry you had such a shitty experience, you didn't deserve any of it.

I would complain about the situation as a whole and give a factual account of how the staff behaved. Store management can't do anything about problems they don't know about and it definitely sounds as though there are problems in that particular store.

Hope your day improves and please try to remember the golden rule of MN, take what is useful to you from the replies and completely ignore the rest, some people can't resist being knobs when they can hide behind a screen Flowers

Thanks Jantesmug :) I noticed one of the people trying to be testy with me on here keeps coming back with additional comments, but that made me realise they're doing it just to try and create some aggravation, for whatever reason.

OP posts:
NotQuiteNorma · 28/03/2024 13:42

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:38

I did say in my OP that there was no sign saying 'card only', for the scan and go.

It usually says card only on the screen. Hence why you couldn't find a coin slot.

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 28/03/2024 13:42

Springingintolife · 28/03/2024 13:38

I did say in my OP that there was no sign saying 'card only', for the scan and go.

There's 'card only' on every till at the scan and go bit, and it's in the terms and conditions when you register that if you need to pay cash you go to a cash self checkout 🤷🏻‍♀️

No point pretending that you were a completely innocent party, you fucked up, she reacted badly, it happens.

NotQuiteNorma · 28/03/2024 13:43

This reply has been deleted

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CormorantStrikesBack · 28/03/2024 13:44

I agree I wouldn’t complain. It sounds like other staff are aware of the situation and it will be dealt with. Sounds like she was having a bad day. I have a friend who works in retail and she’s not a rude person but she gets overwhelmed and can have panic attacks and I know she’s been in situations where she’s just had to walk off. Her managers know and are supporting her.

Theunamedcat · 28/03/2024 13:44

colouredball · 28/03/2024 13:21

I agree, it's a really long story

Piss poor customer services meets someone with with a brain condition and doesn't help them a kind customer did

With added "tantrums" and poor emotional regulation

user1471474138 · 28/03/2024 13:48

trying to pay cash on a card only till happens all the time even if they are clearly signposted and it really isn’t (and definitely shouldn’t be) a big deal. The staff should’ve been able to handle it easily and without making the op feel like she is the stupid one.
Fair enough if the one staff member was having a bad day and it was all too much but why didn’t the others help - sounds like extremely poor customer service from multiple people

narniabusiness · 28/03/2024 13:49

It’s probably not worth complaining. This was my Asda experience this week - an online order. Arrived 2.5 hours late - no communication or explanation of this. Forgot all the non chilled items which was half the shop. Substitutes for eight of the other items and two items damaged. I was refunded by the driver for the items that weren’t delivered. I called up customer service to say I thought it was very poor service and got a £5 voucher off my next shop. It’s not enough to tempt me to return.

LittleLittleRex · 28/03/2024 13:50

I've worked in retail and can't think of a less satisfying job than the self service tills. The only human interaction you have is when the customer is already irritated with the machine. It isn't like working on a checkout and making small talk, things going smoothly for the most part, just getting on with your day with customers getting on with theirs. No, to save money, the supermarkets have sucked any pleasure at all from these jobs and made it a miserable role.

Not sure there is someone to complain about that to though!