To think women are being mislead that they can have children anytime when they want

[Mythought]

One of my friends started TTC at 35 with a new partner whom she knows for very short while only to find out her egg reserve is very low. She has been ttc for 2.5 years now. She was under the impression that she'll have DC whenever she'll be ready and want.
Similar has happened to other colleagues and friends of friends who started TTC later after 35. I think media gives false impression to women that they can have children whenever they'll want only leading to disappointment and people need to be aware of the biological aspects of fertility. Researches have shown that the fertility for women start dropping after 34 years. If more women were aware of this then they Will make better choices.

I've never ever got this impression. In fact the opposite. I've always been told that once you hit 35 the likelihood is low and dangers are higher.

Oh Fgs. So women don't have their own thinking power or brain of their own? Always media and society to blame isn't it. A very basic research, even first click on Google will tell you the science and facts about age and TTC.

Surely most people know that fertility declines with age?

Unless I'm living in another world, it's always been quite openly discussed about female fertility declining with age.

At the risk of being flamed, I tend to find that people are quick to blame women for being silly/leaving it too late etc but conveniently overlook that there's a lot of reasons why women might not be in a place to have children younger, especially if they want to have secure job, be in a place where they can work part time, have housing security, afford childcare etc.

I don’t think anyone has told women they can have babies whenever they want. Plenty do have children later in life and even in their 50s but we are aware it’s not a given. It’s not definite at any age.

Opposite for me. I certainly had the impression that I’d be lucky to conceive after 35. Had two babies, one at 40 and one at 42. And if I wanted another (I don’t) I don’t think I’d struggle to conceive.

Women makes poor decisions = always someone else's fault(she must be vulnerable, influenced by media, society). No accountability for her own choices and decisions then?

As a women I have always been acutely aware that my time to have children is limited. I still hope it might happen- I haven’t had kids through lack of partner and opportunity. If I meet the right person of course I will TTC, I am under no illusion that it will be easy.

There's new evidence emerging that male fertility is far more affected by age than we realised. Although older men can get women pregnant, there are far more risks to the baby's health than we once thought. There's a massively increased risk of all kinds of physical and even mental illnesses.

I am not saying media is to blame but there are tons of celebrities who go on to have babies in 40s and 50s, giving this general impression that it's normal and achievable to have babies at that sort of ages. The latest news being of Cameron Diaz having baby at 51.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/cameron-diaz-welcomes-baby-boy-cardinal-age-51/

I'm getting the feeling this wasn't written by a woman, but one of the red pill/ incel men who are all about breeding them when they're young. Notice that the writer used they instead of we at the end.

I went in to full on premature menopause just before I was 40. Luckily I’d had kids in my 20s. It is “normal” to have kids at 40, but it’s making people think that everyone can do it. And they really can’t.

How insulting to women!

Anyone with more than one brain cell knows that the older you get the chances of getting pregnant will decrease.

People do what they do. There is no guarantee at any age.

Of course I knew that when I got into my mid-30s, it would get harder for me to get pregnant. But I didn't meet my husband until I was 31, despite my best efforts! One year to get to know him, then we started trying. We needed IVF and didn't manage to have my first child until I was 36. I think it's pretty common knowledge now that fertility declines after mid-30s. I do despair slightly when friends in their late 30s or even early 40s meet someone and say they're going to have a year or two as a couple before starting trying though...

@Zfactorstar I am definitely a traditional biological women.

I'd worry about the mental capacity of anyone who took reproductive 'advice' from celebrities, rather than from the vast array of medical information on the internet.

They'd be better off getting a puppy.

Well I got together with DH at 38 and had my children at 39 and 42 so how do you suggest I could have done that sooner - ie before I met him??
I think the opposite, huge scary stories of fertility dropping off a cliff but people having children in their late 30's is really not uncommon.

I don't think this is really true tbh. I remember being told to get a move on in my twenties (I did wait till I was 30 though)!

I think there are many reasons women wait, and often isn't something they get much say in - they haven't found a partner they can settle down with, they can't afford to buy a house and rentals are too unreliable, they need a decent career established to help pay for childcare when they go back to work which they'll need to do as most couples can't afford to only have one income for very long.

I don't think it's lack of info which is the culprit here tbh.

Misled by whom??!

I think it gives hope, nothing more. No one thinks it is normal- which is why the age features as part of the headline-people recognise that it is remarkable

Hmm. I know it's hammered in to us that fertility declines after 30-ish, however it's the norm now for people to have babies later in life... so I can see why people question if it's really the case. Add to that that celebs are having babies later and later (of course, they can throw any amount of money at it) and you can see why people could be blasé about it?

Hang on, your friend who you are critisizing started ttc basically immediately after meeting a partner, what else did you want her to do? Start trying before she met him as pp said?

Misled? Why are their brains flushed down the toilet?

Is there any thoughts women have that are not blamed on everyone else?

I am not criticizing my friend or anyone. She told me she thought she'll be able to have children whenever she would be ready. She didn't care about finding a partner till mid 30s but started looking for a partner only when she had the urge to have baby.