To think women are being mislead that they can have children anytime when they want

[Mythought]

One of my friends started TTC at 35 with a new partner whom she knows for very short while only to find out her egg reserve is very low. She has been ttc for 2.5 years now. She was under the impression that she'll have DC whenever she'll be ready and want.
Similar has happened to other colleagues and friends of friends who started TTC later after 35. I think media gives false impression to women that they can have children whenever they'll want only leading to disappointment and people need to be aware of the biological aspects of fertility. Researches have shown that the fertility for women start dropping after 34 years. If more women were aware of this then they Will make better choices.

I think we all have a tendency to see only the things we want to see.

The balanced information is out there but we can easily gloss over things that contradict what we want to think, which is why social media bubbles are so dangerous because they reinforce that. An article could give a 50/50 chance of something and there'll still be those who think it's great odds and those who think it's terrible, doesn't mean either are stupid

Frankly if a woman is so stupid to think age isn’t a factor in fertility and children are a given, they have no business having a children.

I don’t know about “misled,” but I’ve met several women who assume that just because someone had a baby at a later age, they can have a baby at a later age.

I'm with OP. There's an assumption that it's fine to wait until mid-30s before TTC, and that if it doesn't happen, IVF will work.

Obviously, you can wait and IVF can work, but it's not a given .

Well, some of the responses on this thread demonstrate why some women think they won't have a problem ttc late thirties or early forties.

You'll always have those who will drum up their own little anecdotes of 'well we managed first time when I was 42' or 'I accidentally conceived twins at 44'.

Always remember statistics trump random, smug anecdotes. 'I conceived on a whim at the shy age of 40' isn't helping anyone.

Always remember statistics trump random, smug anecdotes. 'I conceived on a whim at the shy age of 40' isn't helping anyone.

So much this.

I hope you don't work in public health or any kind of statutory services.

The fact that some older women manage to have babies is simply a fact, it's not the media misleading anyone. If people assume that just because a small proportion of older women have babies, that means any woman can, that is their fault for jumping to conclusions and not reading up about fertility at older ages.

YANBU - but also, the information is widely available.

As soon as I started thinking about/ planning TTC I quickly found out about the age of 35 being an important stage.

It only needs a very quick google to find out when is the best time to TTC.

Agree.

A group of women at my workplace wanted to do an internal awareness campaign on this because they were worried that, unlike "in their day", women were choosing to leave it too late then being disappointed they couldn't get pregnant in their 40s.

I pointed out that (aside from being really fucking weird to do an internal workplace campaign on this) it completely ignored the environment that shapes the life choices of today's young women. They were completely baffled by that response and kept insisting that it was women being ignorant of biology and choosing to leave it until their 40s.

Absolutely disagree. Women are told in no uncertain terms that fertility is difficult after 30.

As for this news article, This child was via surrogate if you'd cared to investigate rather than just reading the headline and assuming it was au natural.

You can't blame the media for your lack of attention.

Wow. Harsh.

That's not been my experience. I grew up being very aware of 35 being the "cut off age". My friends all have the same idea too as there was a massive rush for marriage and babies once we started edging closer to 35.

I disagree, I’m in my late 30s now and feel like I’ve been hearing since my early 20s that there was a “cliff edge” at 35, probably hammering this message home too much, if anything. Some celebrities having babies later or whatever didn’t make me do anything differently and I don’t believe many women who are sure they want children are “putting it off” for anything other than really good reasons like lack of a good partner or lack of good housing.

Yep also people think fertility is a gradual drop off. I had my last baby at 37 first month trying. I’m 40 this year, periods still like clockwork but for all I know my fertility might have fallen off a cliff. I was 29 when I had my first but I had lots of miscarriages before that happened. There are so many unknowns when it comes to having babies. It should never be taken for granted

I think media gives false impression to women that they can have children whenever they'll want...

In what way?

I know what you mean op. I've seen on mumsnet so many times that '40 is not that old these days, it's normal now! Loads of people can and so can you probably!' It's ridiculous

That's because your parents don't want the hassle of having to deal with your baby as well as teenage you.

The best time to have a baby (from a health point of view) is late teens/ early twenties for both men and women, but from every other point of view this is a complete disaster for most people.
This is a very difficult problem to solve and part of the reason that we will see populations collapse in many countries in the coming decades.

This. I had DC young, as it wasn't seen as young at the time. Leaving it to age 30+ was seen as being a 'geriatric mother'.

There are the big picture statistics and there are individual women.

Many individuals who have fertility problems at 35 may also have had them at 24.

Many 35-45 year old women do have complication-free pg and birth.

Everyone knows that overall , fertility decreases in the later years of the childbearing.

I'm not sure this is true. Every single woman I know realises it's both harder and more dangerous (risk wise) to have children over 35.

Those of my friends who did so either found themselves unexpectedly pregnant or went ahead fully accepting the risks.

I actually think if someone is going to have issues conceiving they will have problems no matter what their age. I know a couple in their mid 20s who are having issues and also know couples in their early 40s who have no trouble at all and get pregnant pretty quickly.

Don’t underestimate your friend. People say all kinds of stuff in public as a ‘defence’ against how others perceive and judge them due to their marital status/kids etc. What she is saying to you may not be a true reflection as to how she feels. It could possible be bravado. Most women know about the damn biological clock.

@BoudiccaOfSuburbia , I don't think that everybody does know, and many won't think it applies to them.

I disagree, I’m in my late 30s now and feel like I’ve been hearing since my early 20s that there was a “cliff edge” at 35, probably hammering this message home too much, if anything.

I think part of the issue is that media is much diversified now, so people end up in silos where the information they are receiving is very different from the person next door, or next desk. Information has to be multi-channel and targeted specifically to different demographics to get sufficient coverage.