To think women are being mislead that they can have children anytime when they want

[Mythought]

One of my friends started TTC at 35 with a new partner whom she knows for very short while only to find out her egg reserve is very low. She has been ttc for 2.5 years now. She was under the impression that she'll have DC whenever she'll be ready and want.
Similar has happened to other colleagues and friends of friends who started TTC later after 35. I think media gives false impression to women that they can have children whenever they'll want only leading to disappointment and people need to be aware of the biological aspects of fertility. Researches have shown that the fertility for women start dropping after 34 years. If more women were aware of this then they Will make better choices.

Eh? surely everyone knows that women have a biological clock which starts ticking really loudly from the mid 30s. You'd have to live under a rock to not know this!

The average age to buy a house is now 34. And whilst owning a house is not a prerequisite for having a child I would have through the issues around housing were a far bigger reason why women are having babies later than because of celebrities behaviour

Housing is only part of the issue but there are some fairly obvious societal reasons why having children later is occurring and I'm not quite sure positioning women as mindless bimbos who blindly follow celebrities and the media is a particularly insightful view on the topic

If you truly have a friend who is this thick I’d be surprised

What a load of rubbish, there isn’t a single woman I know who wasn’t aware of the decreased likelihood of getting pregnant after 35. I had my dc late because I wanted financial security.

As for the Cameron Dias headline I didn’t read it because I’m not interested. I saw the headline as I was flicking through more significant news and assumed it was a surrogate or donor egg. I can’t imagine anyone would think it was as a result of sex with her husband.

*I'd worry about the mental capacity of anyone who took reproductive 'advice' from celebrities, rather than from the vast array of medical information on the internet.

They'd be better off getting a puppy.*

This, if you have got to the age of 40 and can't use all the infinite resources freely available to research this for yourself, apart from using your own brain then the last thing you should be doing is having a child.

Op, your friend is very thick and you are not far off by starting this thread because it clearly makes two of you for believing this. Unbelievable.

I’ve always know fertility declines around mid 30’s. I didn’t decide I wanted a child until late 40 but I was fully aware of the risks.

I believe their baby(ies) were via a surrogate, OP.

I think in general women are very aware of their biological clock. I met my husband at 32. I would have been ready a few years earlier.

That said, no need to scaremonger. Fertility declines but does not fall off a cliff. Most people in their 30s will not struggle. I conceived easily and had my babies at 35 and 37.

I am 31 and ttc now. It is not very successful yet but in my defense I haven't used contraception since 22 and nothing has happened..

I am feeling a bit confused now though as I think I can make it work money wise and own my flat, the person who inspired me to go for it is going through a hard time now (in my view) as she can't afford her home (at least not in the long term) and has to move back with in-laws. Not sure if it was due to the baby. I still want to ttc but I remember at that time when I finally decided, I was thinking xxx says she doesn't have enough money but she is going for it..I have more wriggle room so I should just try. Honestly if you saw her as a case study for 'making things work for the sake of biology', everyone wouldn't think its a great idea and would not wish for what she is going through. And the reality is that she had a dh and they both have careers, it just takes a bit more these days to have financial security.

As I am in london, I don't know that many other mums my age. Most people I know conceived after 35.

How have they been mislead? We all know about fertility. We all know after 34/35 that it can be very very hard. After 40 it can be impossible. If they think anything else, it isn’t down to the media or education… they’re just a bit dim or self involved or head in the sand kind of person.

I’ve only seen anecdotal stories in the media like 48 year olds getting pregnant (that age was plucked out of midair) which are obviously not proof that I could get pregnant at that age.

Are you sure that your friend doesn’t know people who got pregnant easily at age 35+(like her mother, sister, friends) rather than this being a media thing ?

It is a well known fact about fertility. That doesn't mean plenty of women don't consider this until it becomes relevant them.

The reality is that while science has made assisting conception it can't do everything. To be honest I wouldn't give two hoots what celebs do I would be looking at stats for my information.

I disagree. You are automatically categorised as high risk if you are 35+ and pregnant. Do they still call you geriatric mothers?! Not exactly extolling the virtues of having babies when you are older is it?!
Of course people do have babies over this age, often naturally. I don't see how you can gide th from view, particularly if they are famous.
I still think it's better to wait till you are with the right person than just have kids when you are young

I knew that. What I didn't realise was that it's normal for ttc to take a few months in your twenties. Sex education at school made me think that if my husband emasculated somewhere near my vagina at any point in my cycle I would probably get pregnant instantly. It took 7 months to get pregnant the first time, then I miscarried at 12 weeks. Then it took another 4 months to get pregnant again. All very normal. But it was a shock to me until I started reading about fertility and ovulation etc.

I can't imagine it being MORE widespread information that fertility is not guaranteed and certainly lowers as we age! What it is is that these people didn't think it would happen to THEM.

I think part of the issue is many women don’t think they personally will be impacted by declining fertility as they age. It’s something that happens to someone else.

I started ttc at 29. Never got pregnant despite fertility drugs and IVF.

I’m not sure we have been. I’m 25 and well aware I’m likely in my prime/just past it. I won’t be hanging around before TTC as a family is important to me

It's common knowledge the older you are the harder it is to conceive. Famous ppl have the funds to pay for surrogates etc.

There's so much luck involved after 35, though. That's the issue. Plus a smaller window of time to seek conception help if you need it.

A lot of women will know mothers like yourself and find it too reassuring, IYSWIM.

There sometimes seems to be this cockeyed idea that good information about female fertility is an affront to feminism itself.

Actually being well informed allows you to plan your choices most wisely, but not everybody reads the kind of material that will give them the information they need,

I am not saying media is to blame but there are tons of celebrities who go on to have babies in 40s and 50s, giving this general impression that it's normal and achievable to have babies at that sort of ages. The latest news being of Cameron Diaz having baby at 51
With all due respect I question the common sense of anyone who thinks pregnancy should be easy during the menopausal/perimenopausal years.

I actually have a lot more sympathy for women (and couples) in their 20s/30s who were told in sex ed that if they look at the opposite sex it will end in pregnancy, only to find that lots of couples find TTC takes a lot longer than they were told in their younger years.

I think most people are aware that all the celebrities having babies in their late 40s/early 50s have most likely had a lot of help and donor eggs

Your friend is either stupid or lying to you.

Did she carry this one? The last one I don't think she did. So at least that (surrogacy) makes it more obvious help was needed. Egg donation is invisible to onlookers.

Not that celebrities should have to explain the circumstances of their children's conception. You're quite right, though, that people need information to counter their casual assumptions.