‘D’P hit stepson

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I've been with my partner for 6 years. We have have a 4 year old and 18 month old together. He also an 11 year old.

Stepson wets the bed, he went to the GP and they said he would grow out of it he would wear drynites but at the start of Feb (just after he turned 11) partner told him he was too old for them and refused to buy them, telling him he'd get bullied in secondary school. I tried to talk to him but he said by buying them he was encouraging him to ‘misbehave’

His mum works shifts so we have him most of the time, it varies when she has him due to her shifts so she mostly takes him out for the day/picks him up from school and gives him his dinner etc.

Just after partner stopped buying the drynites stepson was very upset one morning trying to hide that he'd wet the bed. I helped him change his bedding and didn't tell partner as he was very upset and embarrassed.

He had been doing well and hadn't wet the bed for around 2-3 weeks but this morning he woke up with a wet bed. I wasn't home when he woke up so he attempted to change it himself and was caught by partner. I'd just gotten home and could hear partner shouting at him, telling him he's fed up of the behaviour as he hadn't done it in a while so he's capable of not, said he's attention seeking etc. Stepson was upset and telling him he didn't mean it etc and partner hit him on the arm and told him to do his own washing.

I attempted to help him but was told I was encouraging it and undermining him. Partner doesn't see he's in the wrong for any of this, including the hitting. Using the excuse he was hit much harder as a child.

He thinks I'm being unreasonable for getting involved

Hope Step son reports vile abuse to a teacher. Your partner is an awful bully, he is the root cause.

End the relationship for the sake of your children and report to Social Services. That would be it for me, no second chances after hitting a child.

Tell the mum, report to social services and start the process of leaving him, he is an abuser.

That is absolutely horrendous and the worst thing I’ve read on here for a while. You must kick your dp out and tell the son’s mum. Absolutely disgusting of your dp.

My ds is 15 and just stopped... Your p is an ignorant abuser. His ex needs to know.. And an urologist can prescribe tablets to prevent bed wetting. Ds got a year's supply until hormones kicked in.

Everyone saying he should be with his Mum, the Mum clearly can't be bothered. Choosing working shifts over having a stable him for her child.

Unless there's a medical issue, then this must be a psychological issue which I can understand why.

It's not a full solution but I would recommend buying a Hygee sheet from Amazon. They protect against bedwetting.

Does your DP lose his temper often? If this is a one off then perhaps he's just frustrated and worried his child will be bullied. I do not condone hitting a child though.

You need to do this.

The poor boy.

I know it's easy to say report him, and probably not so easy to do, but you really should op.

He's has abused his own child, do you want that for yours? What if your DSS went into school and told someone, you haven't reported, DSS says you knew... then that's you getting investigated too and your dc at risk.

Makes you wonder what goes on when you're not there really that's causing such anxiety.

In fairness she might not have a choice.

Sorry, but your relationship with your abusive partner is now over. He will be treating your DC like this soon.
You need to take stock of your financial position. I do hope you can manage on your own. Regarding your poor SS. Please contact his mother & explain the situation. He cannot be allowed contact with his DF for the time being. Hopefully she will take steps to protect him.

The mum can't be bothered because she's working full time and leaving her son with his father while she works? WTF?

I am absolutely horrified that you have two children with this piece of shit. There is no way there wasn't evidence of his abusive ways before now.

What kind of an arsehole is he? There could very well be a medical reason for this. My cousin wet the bed until he was about 12 - there was a medical reason for it.
His bully of a father needs to take him to the doctor. There is medication for this.
I'd be extremely worried for your own children if I were you.

This. Poor kid. He's more likely to have accidents now because he'll go to bed stressed

I do plan on telling his mum but I don't think she’ll be able to get another job which doesn't require these shifts. She's worked shifts ever since SS was young, when she and partner first split he would stay with her mum but she now lives abroad so she doesn't have any childcare which meant SS living with us most of the time.

Apart from this he is a good dad but he seems to think SS is purposely doing it, he's never been violent before.

He is absolutely not a good dad. Are you seriously going to stay with him? Appalling.

He’s not a good dad and it will likely continue, are you happy with him hitting your children as long as he is a good dad in other areas ?

My cousin used to wet the bed for years. Funnily enough it only stopped when his dad left the family home.

Apart from assaulting his scared child for doing something outwith his control and humiliating him he's a great dad 🤨

Report him to safeguarding. At the very least tell the mother. He's abusing his own son, your children are also witnessing this and are probably scared. And get him out the house.

Apart from this he is a good dad

Bullshit. No reasonable adult would strike and bully a little child over bed wetting. What kind of fucking idiot is this man? It's fucking appalling. That poor little boy. He will never forget how his father has humiliated him over this. This is what lies ahead for your kids.

What kind of advice is that from a Dr? My daughter was a bedwetter, started Desmopressin when she was about 7, she stayed on it until she was about 13 - if they don’t produce the hormone, they need a synthetic version

As for hitting kids for wetting the bed, he needs locking up, he wouldn’t be spending another moment in my house.

You are lovely, your DP is a disgrace. The poor boy must live in fear of wetting the bed probably unconsciously stressing him out making it more likely.
This could be one of your kids one day. I'd say run and let his mum know everything.

Your partner is an appalling human being and father.
Also please take your stepson back to the GP, at this age (actually earlier) my daughter was given medication for this (its a short term thing until the body learns to release the correct hormones etc to wake himself up)

This is one of the saddest things I’ve read on here. That poor lad.