For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

[Anguish]

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

I don’t disagree with you btw, in fact I wholeheartedly agree - just going off the conversations I’ve had about CS. I was told they’d avoid if they could and there was some exploration and depth to the conversation.

@Irisginger Let's ignore all of the many confounding variables re life in 1841.

Apart from anything else, no first time mother knows for certain whether her body is capable of giving birth.

Uncomplicated VBs are probably the ideal, but you can't choose to have one of those, you can only choose to pull the trigger on a gun loaded with three VBs and one emergency C section.

@Jo58 That's a complete contraction in terms. All women should have the choice to have a CS, no questions asked, but "they'd avoid if they could."

It's funny how tennis always features in these apocryphal stories about feckless and entitled women thinking it is OK to want control what happens in their own bodies. Anyone remember Jill Knight MP and her tirade against abortion rights on the basis women only had them to fit into their tennis dresses?

But you are the one asserting that basic physiology is all that matters?!?

@Irisginger If women are arguing on here all women should be entitled to choose a cs no questions asked, you are going to get women making decisions based on such ridiculous reasons! Fact.

Lmao.

I'm always surprised how little the people who say we were intelligently designed/evolved for birth consider that our typical obstetric careers probably don't look anything like those of most women throughout human history.

The average woman in places like the 21st century UK is fertile for nigh on two decades without giving birth, then has one or two children quite close together in her 30s. That's not a pattern we see in hunter gatherer societies. Whatever evolution or design that took place did so for a world that doesn't look remotely like ours. Yet apparently this doesn't even register as something that might need to be taken into account?

If this is the "watching Wimbledon" post you're referring to, then you have dishonesty twisted what the poster said to fit your own agenda.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4954521-c-section-vs-natural-delivery?page=2&reply=131141610

Post by Parker231 · 01/12/2023 20:45

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle No, wasn't that one. Although don't agree with that.one either.

Don't agree with what? That a woman should watch Wimbledon the day after she has given birth?

😂

I watched the final of Britain's Got Talent 2009 an hour after giving birth by section. Is that OK? I enjoyed it.

I know women who were refused epidurals and are still upset about it. That lack of control and severe pain (often poorly positioned babies) is a lovely trauma recipe. It’s 2024.

And I agree that epidurals often help women give birth when before they would have just died from exhaustion.

But women must suffer!

This is what I mean. We also had a completely different diet and jobs. The way we moved and how much she moved, everything!

Ive known people have wonderful home births and I’m happy for them. But you know what? They’re lucky. A group of us all did everything for a natural birth and I think one of us got it.

I don't care a jot about something being "natural". I'd have been dead long ago without lots of "unnatural" things such as refractive lenses, appendectomy and antibiotics.

@thebestinterest

why the hell is it bonkers?!

why is women being able to choose what happens to their own bodies bonkers?!

Yep! Which is why a proper analysis of risks vs benefits of epidurals is lacking when it ignores all this. And why it matters that we don't have much in the way of good data on women who are denied epidurals after asking for them.

@LorlieS

yep Hun a women’s right to choose DOES trump everything else!

woo hoo!

why you got an issue with that?
internalised misogyny? Some notion that women should suffer to be a mother?

what else could possibly be more important?

Simon Cowell is quite annoying, so I'd say maybe it could count as penance and therefore be acceptable.

My sample is obviously self-selecting as it consists of women who are litigating, but I have seen dozens of women who were refused or dissuaded when they asked for interventions including epidurals and sections. The consequences can be very bad for mental health.

Agree on Cowell, but that was the year Diversity won and I enjoyed them!

Mmmm true. In that case it was probably feckless. After all, we evolved to give birth without watching the telly afterwards.

What? They let you partake in the enjoyment of light entertainment so soon after having failed to fulfil your biological destiny in the ascribed manner? I would have thought that should have resulted in your media being taken away from you for, what, at least a few months?