For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

[Anguish]

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

@Vod Just to clarify, do you mean abortion rights?

No, the right to choose elective section, attempting VB even if higher risk, epidural etc.

@CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment It's nothing to do with being "noble"; it's about reducing risk to the unborn baby.

@Vod I don't personally agree with elective section purely on the basis of convenience, no.

Ewwww, how positively fucking creepy of you. Can't have them getting notions about what they're allowed to do with their vaginas!

I don't think a home birth reduces risks to baby. Give me a hospital any day!

Because if an emergency happens, I’d much rather be at the hospital already than need a transfer.

But also because you can only get epidurals at hospitals.

Bollocks to being noble and suffering to ‘reduce risks to the unborn baby’. I had a 19 hour back to back labour ending in an emergency section. No bloody way was I doing that with a bit of whale music and chanting. An epidural at the earliest opportunity thanks.

He shouldn't insist on anything, it should be what the mother feels most comfortable with in the first instance and what's best for the baby at the time of the birth. Romantic or not, he could put his dw and dc life at risk by insisting on something like this.

@WithACatLikeTread Much more evidence is mounting to suggest that actually it does. What we do know is that with subsequent babies with a "normal" pregnancy history, there is certainly no greater risk with a homebirth than in a hospital delivery.
If you think about midwife ratios, for example... hospital births are often incredibly stretched re midwives and often you are given (for some of your labour) a midwife you've never met before.
Home birth: 1-1 midwife who knows you at all times, and two 1-1 midwives in established labour.

I’d suggest epidurals are pretty common because of how common inductions are. I wouldn’t advise the drip without an epidural tbh after being in slow labour for days with little sleep. Cue replies saying they had a Syntocinon drip without an epidural. So did I and I didn’t sleep for days before my baby was born so I was absolutely wrecked before the Labour even really kicked off. They are recommended -forcefully in my experience - with inductions so women can sleep so they’re rested for the pushing.

Indeed. It’s pure luck if you can ‘breathe’ your baby out.

Yeah, I’ll be getting an elective if I’m lucky enough to have another. I didn’t give a second thought about me on that operating table after going to theatre as my baby was in distress. It was truly a time in my life when a minute felt like a lifetime.

@Jo58 My first labour lasted three days and my second one two, so I wouldn't say it was just a case of "breathing" my baby out!
Third labour was longest...waters partially went 72 hours before labour even started, then about 48 hours from first "proper" contraction to delivery. I was 39 so an older mum and 10 years between children so this may have been some of the reason as to why labour took so long.
My husband (his first and last baby) had no idea labours could last so long, love him!
But after my firstborn epidural problems I knew categorically I wouldn't opt for another one.

Maybe in that case homebirths should be banned so hospitals can be less stretched with midwives.

He probably doesn't want to do all the vacuuming & driving for 6 weeks after!

@SouthLondonMum22 Makes no odds as there are dedicated homebirth teams so actually, homebirthers are freeing up the hospital-based midwives.
And my personal homebirth was with an IM so did not work for the NHS (thank God - height of Covid when zero f2f care except for in labour!)

The point is we shouldn't be taking away a woman's choice. If you don't want a homebirth, don't have one.

Same thing applies to epidurals and elective c-sections.

@SouthLondonMum22 Whilst I don't disagree in principle, I think it's incredibly important to make sure this choice is fully informed. I am confident, unfortunately, that this is not always the case.

Which can apply to anything, including homebirths.

Of course the choice should be a fully informed one. I don't think anyone would argue against that.

@SouthLondonMum22 Absolutely. Being fully informed and also doing my research was exactly why I opted for an IM homebirth.

Which is again why choice is important.

Being fully informed means I was more than happy to have an epidural. The next woman may feel differently because we make different risk assessments with the same information.

Well I hope you’re not in any way involved in caring for women professionally with your attitude. It’s a very narrow view. I would never want a home birth because an ELCS is my preferred option. What you call ‘convenience’ might actually be a desire to avoid unnecessary risks in labour, unnecessary harm to the mental health of a mother (who if all goes well no matter what birth method will soon have a newborn to look after).
I get that your epidural was not good, but it doesn’t mean that thousands (millions?) of women don’t benefit from them.

I don’t think ELCS is the easy way out. But it is one way forward. Women deserve the medical care best suited to their circumstances. Appropriate pain relief can help some women cope with pain in labour leading to better outcomes, not worse.

@arecklessmanor No, as I said, in cases of convenience. Labour shouldn't be about timetables; it takes as long as it takes and should happen when it happens.

@Lelophants

…. Ok so I have gone through repeated abdominal surgery and I can tell you that with each abdominal surgery there are adhesions and internal scar tissue that can pose problems later - particularly if you need multiple caesareans or other abdominal surgery in life…

But you can go ahead and think that it is just a small scar if that is what you want to believe.