To say no more bringing the dog to our house

[Toopytoop]

My step kids mum has recently gotten a dog. She works nights and the children have started "wanting to bring their dog" when they come to ours. I suspect what is actually going on is she is starting to feel guilty leaving a dog by itself all night and so is encouraging the kids to desperately "want" to bring their dog with them here.

Aibu to say no more bringing the dog with them?

They stay 3 nights a week and DH goes to work early so I'm the one who ends up in the house all day with it or until their mum sometimes decides to pick it up on her way home in the mornings.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

I'd missed this post when I glanced through the thread.

Does it ever stop? I guess some people just love to be wrong.

I have made it my life's mission @ColleenDonaghy to get my knickers in a twist every time someone says 'gotten' is wrong. I should probably get out more🤣🤣🤣

I will happily share the burden with you (but need to leave some capacity for the Haitch threads too).

This happens in almost every thread. Someone moaning about a word or two that are supposedly American English when they are used in other parts of the UK and always have been. Even words they claim are American like “gotten”, aren’t even used fully through the whole country. Like here, it is based on region.

If dsc mum can’t look after the dog properly she shouldn’t have got it. Simple as that.
Not your responsibility.

ESH.
No you absolutely shouldn't have a dog in your house that you don't want. You're house, your rules. The step mum is TA for trying to push dog on you and for playing the kids to make them want it there. If people visit me with their dog I don't even let it run around in my garden (I'm not picking up their suprises), they get turned around and sent straight away. No argument and no discussion. Its not coming into my house.

You're also TA (though a much smaller one) if you allowed it even once previously though. Because now you are going back on something you have already said yes to the kids about. There's going to be less trust from them in the future because you said yes then no once already. Should have been direct and firm in the NO from the 1st subtle hint.

Animals are fine for god sake, they used to sleep in kennels outside! It's so weird how much society babies them these days.

Op - ignore all the people trying to make you feel guily about leaving a dog on it's own overnight. DOGS ARE FINE ON THEIR OWN. It wasn't that long ago that dogs used to slep outside and not in the house. The dog will just go to sleep.

Just make a decision based on what you want, and what feels right for you, no-one else.

Are you high???
that’s the only reasonable explanation I can come up with! Why on earth should the OP look after her ex’s and his new partners dog? Coming from a dog owner that also has kids that go to their dad’s part of the time I wouldn’t even dream of sending one of the dogs with them because it would suit me?
yea it’s not fair on the dog BUT it isn’t OP’s issue

Just say no, the longer you do it for, the harder it is to change. Had a problem with my in laws visiting with a dog, I have cats. Ultimately if someone wants a dog that’s fine but they shouldn’t make it someone else’s problem.

Absolutely stop doing this ASAP
i can’t believe anyone sane would think this dog is in any way your responsibility.

YANBU

If OP had posted about her DH getting a dog without full discussion and agreement between them, there would be outrage.

So why the hell should the OP take responsibility for a dog that she had no choice over the kids getting? Its not her dog, its not her problem. If mum works nights and feels bad about about leaving the dog then either pay a dog sitter or rehome the poor thing. It is NOT the OPs job to do it.

Even if the DH was doing all the work with the dog, she still has to have a dog she doesnt want in her home, she is allowed to say no!

Of course you shouldn't have the dog just because the stepchildren stay over. Particularly, as you are being left alone with the dog for whole days. The dog is the mother's responsibility.

It’s not her dog. Op didn’t decide to get a dog. The dog belongs to her partner’s Ex. Why on earth do you think OP is being unreasonable here? It would be like one of your neighbours getting a dog, then realising they are out all day and expecting you to look after it without asking you or paying you to do so.

Indeed. I have a puppy that sleeps from 19:30 after her evening meal, gets up and 21:30 for the toilet, then sleeps through until 06:00 the next day!! If a dog has been fed, toileted and has access to water they are fine. If there is nothing interesting going on, they will sleep.

let sleeping dogs lie ! (Ba-dum-tsschh!!!!)

Alternatively @Toopytoop why not provide your dog sitting rates and see if she still wants you to look after the dog?

Make sure you charge more than the local doggy day care fees as the 1:1 care you are currently providing is a more premium rate than a group setting!

Me too!

Although dogs are people aren’t they? 🤣

Sounds a bit mean tbh. I get you don't want the dog or have any duty towards it but why assume the kids are being manipulated? Maybe they really love and worry about it? It might be one of the few things they feel could be constant in a life where everything changes every fucking day! Does the x have history for being manipulative?

It’s not mean! Even if they really love and worry about it, that’s not ops problem. It’s ex ‘s dog and ex’s responsibility. If they want a furry they can take with them, then get a hamster!

Well you are in a blended family. And the kids won't want to leave their dog behind. So all part of the deal I guess!

Not your dog..not your problem..end off..she got it so she should look after it. Kids are enough let alone the dog. Big fat Noooo

Absolutely set the boundary now.

No !

Sounds like this woman had factored in the op as a free dog sitter and also provider of dog food, free.
I would have shut this down instantly & not allowed the animal in my house.
I hope the op isn't too put off by dog cult members who think she should put up with the animal, and will come back and update us

Why?

The dog is not your responsibility. I can’t believe there’s even a question mark from some over this!
The mum needs to make alternative arrangements on nights she works.