To say no more bringing the dog to our house

[Toopytoop]

My step kids mum has recently gotten a dog. She works nights and the children have started "wanting to bring their dog" when they come to ours. I suspect what is actually going on is she is starting to feel guilty leaving a dog by itself all night and so is encouraging the kids to desperately "want" to bring their dog with them here.

Aibu to say no more bringing the dog with them?

They stay 3 nights a week and DH goes to work early so I'm the one who ends up in the house all day with it or until their mum sometimes decides to pick it up on her way home in the mornings.

Who said a dog was a person?
No idea why the op has posted as she knows what she's going to do anyway.
It's clearly the problem of the ex but I would probably have the dog for the sake of the kids and to stop the dog being lonely.
But I like dogs better than people and this thread is reminding me why.

The dog is not your responsibility and she should have thought about how her work would affect the dog before she bought it. This isn’t your problem. Just say no! That said, I love dogs and I would have it personally (only if it was what my children really wanted and to keep the dog happy) YANBU

It’s the SM’s dog and she’s in charge of it. When the kids are away then her being in charge of her dog doesn’t change. Her dog isn’t your responsibility.

What a cheeky cow. Put your foot down and don't allow her to use you.

No, I wouldn’t look after someone else’s dog. Their mum should have thought about work before buying it. It’s her problem to solve.

Perfectly reasonable to say no. I have a dog and love her to bits but it can be a right pain at times. It was a big decision to have one and make that commitment. Having it forced on you is not acceptable.

I would call her up and say that in the nicest possible way, the dog is not welcome on a regular basis and she needs to sort out doggy care. You have too much on and that you would prefer that she not put you in a position to have to say no to the dog in front of the children. You can make this your DH's problem but to be honest it sounds like he would not be particularly firm.

Up to you if you then offer to have the dog in a genuine personal emergency for her. Only you know if she will take the piss.

She wouldn't be the one leaving it. It is the responsibility of the person that decided to get a dog without being able to care for it.

I find it odd that the ex only works nights when the children are with their father. If she works nights at other times who looks after kids and dog then and where do they disappear to when the children go to see their father?

I can't understand for the life of me why you would even consider stopping the children from bringing their dog! It's part of the family and it's wrong to leave it overnight. Let them bring the dog for goodness sake!!

Of course it isn't part of the family. It's just a dog, not a human.

For the life of me I will never understand people who equate pets with people.

Some people have such a bloody cheek. No it is not your responsibility and you are entitled to say no. Even if the kids genuinely want it there - tough luck - they will have to accept your house, your rules.

You’re being unreasonable to say “ gotten” OP unless you’re American

I’m with you OP. I love dogs, generally they’re great. But I don’t want one of my own because I can’t be arsed to look after it. So there’s no way I’d be taking responsibility for someone else’s on a regular basis, especially in my own home.

The dog being left alone for hours at a time is something that the kids mum should have thought about before getting the dog.

Can you put this onto your OH? The dog can only be there when he is so he needs to drop it back at his ex's on the way to work. He might soon get fed up with it.

And there the poor kids were thinking it was their home too.

Yes, it is part the family, but part of ex’s family, not ops!

Yes, it is wrong to leave the dog overnight, but that’s not op’s problem to fix. The ex bought and owns the dog, so it’s her problem to fix. Either change her working hours, put into kennels/
dog sitter etc (or re-home).

The op has her own life and commitments. If ex wanted her to be co-owner of the dog, this should have been discussed prior to purchasing the dog.

No -one said it wasn’t their home.

Of course YANBU
I wouldn't want a dog in my house
Just say no.

The dog is not part of my family.

Do your kids set the rules in your house?

My point was, that the attitude of the poster I was responding to of “my house, my rules” isn’t going to make the kids feels happy or welcome- particularly when their dad is onboard. It is setting OP up to be the evil stepmother…which she might well be ok with

But in this case it has to be my house, my rules, because the only person in the house who looks after the dog is OP.

How can you expect the dad or the kids to have the final say over OP's time and efforts?

It just doesn't make any sense?

And it doesn't make OP an evil-stepmother just because she doesn't want to put herself last, below her husband, his ex-wife and their children.

For people asking what happens on other days - its quite common for people in heathcare to work 3 long shifts a week and then have the rest of the week off. It will equate to full time hours

jeez no! Worst nightmare for me to also have dog custody. This thread should be 100% YANBU and 2% have to be those that clearly haven’t read the post It’s a no from today on OP and it doesn’t matter how long you have been doing it you can stop. Your DH and his children will in fact adapt to this change. No way would someone else sign me up for their choice of dog…the hair dirt poop pee can stay at mums house. Curious..IS SHE SENDING FOOD WITH THE DOG or are you expected to provide bowls food treats etc ?