Sister stole my baby name

[JessMathews8]

I'm really struggling to deal with this, my sister is 10 years older than me and has three children aged between 18 and 15. She was done witn having kids, has said this for years and years. But her new partner wanted a baby.I have a 6 year old boy, and currently pregnant with a girl. When I was pregnant with my son, before we knew he was a boy I had a girls name set and was after my Nana, always said that the next baby if its a girl I will name her after Nana, it took us 4 years of trying to get pregnant again.My sister got pregnant one month before I did and said that I'd she has a girl she will be using my Nanas name and it's her name, she's due first so she has first dibs.She didn't find out what she was having, but she gave birth yesterday, to a girl and has named her after my Nana.I'm due in 3 weeks, and feel so angry and upset she has used a name for the last 6 years I have said I would use if I have a girl, I found out its a girl at 16 weeks when she told me I could use the name as I know its a girl but shes literally just named her daughter it. Am I an asshole for being upset and mad?
My mum has told me I'm being unreasonable and she has always liked the name. Which she may of done but she always said she was done having kids, and everyone knew that it was the name I would use if I was to ever have a girl. I feel so hurt

Just use the name. If your sister doesn’t like that then that is her problem isn’t it, she knew that’s the name you’d chosen and still decided to call her baby that so.

No one owns a name and it's perfectly ok for two cousins to have the same name. Every school classroom has at least one or rwo duplicate names, kids can cope anf don't get confused. You go ahead and use the name you always planned to. If your sister objects you just say "you've known for 6 years we would be using nana's name if we ever had a girl. If you had a problem with two cousins having the same name you would have chosen a different one. It's not like we can't twll the difference between them. There's no harm in them both honoring nana."

Get rid of your upset. It only exists if you let your sister's choice change your own and you do not have to do that.

Presumably it's her Nana too? You can't steal a name, you don't have exclusive right to it.

I agree that she was unreasonable in the circumstances. I suppose your only option would be to tell her you’ll be using the name as planned and if she has an issue with the two babies being called the same name, she should reconsider her choice.

If she doesn’t want to change it and you don’t want the exact same name you could double barrel or use a similar alternative e.g Emma instead if Emily or Cora instead of Coral.

It's hardly an issue, is it? I have four first cousins with the same given name as me, we are all named after our grandmother.

Use it anyway, like many other posters several of my cousins have the same name. It’s not an issue. It’s a jerk move from her but you can choose whatever name you’d like.

Why?

Use it or choose a better name...maybe after your mother who will be known and loved by your daughter.

Can you use the Nana name as a second name and perhaps the first name could be after your only sister.

Just say "congratulations on your baby girl. How sweet, there will be two cousins with the same name now."

Yes, this!!!!

Your sister sounds like a cow.

Just use the name.

YANBU with the context here. She’s been a liar here to tell you to use it and then use it yourself. Your mum is trying to keep the peace I see.

don’t deviate from your original plan. Kids get all sorts of nicknames so name your child the name. Anything else would be upsetting. Good luck with Baby 2!

Yeah she's dick. I'd be annoyed.
Ignore and name your daughter after your Gran. If she kicks off just stare at her and say 'you knew I was going to call her that before long before you decided to use the same name.' And then walk away and don't engage.

Just use the name. There's no such thing as dibs on a name. It isn't out of bounds just because someone else uses it. It's then a family name.

I know of 2 cousins with the same name ~ it isn't a family name but both sisters loved it. No problems at all, the grandparents refer to DD1's Chloe & DD2's Chloe

I would be upset too. Nobody “owns” a name, but you talked about it, she told you that you could use it and she wouldn’t, then surprised you out of nowhere by using it after all. That’s really odd behaviour tbh

Yep, I'd say this too.

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That was hard to read without paragraphs but nobody owns a name. If you like it then go ahead and use it, your sister is expecting you to choose another name. I'd piss her off and use the name, if it's a family name then she doesn't get exclusive rights to it either.

Love everyone in the thread saying you should still name your daughter the name

I agree with them

I think it’s a bit unfair of her when she knew you planned to use it. Yes no-one owns a name but I find it a bit mean to just now claim it as a name you’re using knowing how much it will upset your sister. I really don’t think you can use the name like others are saying. It would be a bit awkward for family members, especially your mum who would have baby granddaughter the same age with the same name. You could use it for a middle name. It’s really mean of her, but not much you can do. If you’re close, it’s not worth ruining a relationship over but I’d be letting her know how hurt I was.

I have 3 cousins with the same name, OP.

If you love the name, use it.

Oh come on, a hard read without paragraphs? It’s not even that long a post. Why do people love to get little digs in at posters. Worse thing about this forum.

Just use the name

I have 2 cousins with the same name

Use the name, my mum and the cousin she is closest to in age and relationship share the same name. I think they're 2 months apart.

So that was two sisters who wanted the same name!