AIBU to have let my 11 yr old get a piercing at the top of her ear?

[thistooshallarse]

11 yr old got her ears pierced for the first time at 10 yrs old - the standard 2 studs in her lobes

She recently asked if she could get a single extra stud at the top of her ear and
I didn't see why not.

I have since gathered from a few reactions that letting her do this was outrageous, and that absolutely none of her friends would be allowed this. I don't understand why.

My DD is 12 and has her ears pierced. No court appearances this far¡

Who cares what her friend's parents allow? We all parent our own children. Personally I wouldn't as school would be a pain about it

Nope wouldn’t do the top of the ear yet - this is a 16+ thing for me. Tbh I think having two piercings at 10 is a bit too much. But each to their own.

Will she not have to keep taking it out for school?
I got the top of my ear done at 16. I don't know why 11 seems young for additional piercings but it does?

I don’t have a problem with this but I would be surprised if school didn’t ask her to take it out?

School fine about it. We're a terribly boring, rule-abiding family.

Interesting to see that people in the replies agree that it's a bit off that I let her... I don't mind, (as @vanillawaffle says, we all do things our own way) but I don't understand why a piercing 1 inch higher than another piercing is so inappropriate for an 11 yr old.

Asking in the spirit of curiosity rather than belligerence.

Ah if school is fine about it then that’s fine. My school only allowed one piercing in each lobe (and had to be a plain gold stud). If they had allowed more, i would have got more done earlier than 16.

The warning I will give is that I had this done and it got a piercing bump and it was so painful to sleep on for bloody months and months, I nearly gave up on it completely so many times. I’ve never had bumps in any of my other soft lobe piercings but this one was hell and speaking to friends they all had the same issues. It can end up being a waste of money. Mine still can be annoying to sleep on despite having the least annoying jewellery I can find in it. Did she already have it or she wants it? Tbh I would be inclined to find out how she looks after the ones she already has, my teenagers were not good at cleaning theirs…

I had mine done there and couldn't sleep on that side for about a year because it was painful, I wouldn't recommend it to a preteen girl.

Our school don’t allow any earrings so I’m really surprised by this!

I have a cartilage piercing and no way would I be allowing an under 16 to have one. It's very different from a lobe piercing and heals really slowly. Mine is 3 years old and has days of randomly causing me gip!

I had it done when I was younger and it was just constantly getting infected because of sleeping on it. So I don't recommend it (removed mine).

I would be amazed if you found a piercer willing to do this as im sure any reputable piercer would say 16+ for this kind of piercing.

But no I certainly wouldnt be encouraging it at 11, my Sister had hers pierced years ago and it took so long to heal then got infected and ive never seen an ear swell up like it, was awful.

I personally wouldn't allow it however I also wouldn't judge anyone who did.. it's just personal parenting styles.

My personal reasons for not would be...

• Long healing process and risk of complications/ infection

• School may give her a hard time / force her to remove before it's healed

• At 11, I would hope they are still feeling/ behaving like a child. This feels very teenage and grow up which I think seems a shame so early on. So much time for this stuff.

The top of ear piercings take bloody ages to heal. My dd has just had hers done and she can’t sleep on that side at all so I wouldn’t!

otoh I had mine done in my lunch break at school when I was 13 and I don’t regret it, so 🤷🏽‍♀️

I used to do this kind of piercing and if it gets infected and swollen, it can be a hospital visit to have it removed, terribly painful. Not the same as a lobe piercing at all. I wouldn’t advise it on an 11 yr old.

My Sisters had to be removed in hospital, it was awful how much her ear ballooned, I honestly never realised your ear could swell as much as that did, was absolutely awful.

At 11 i was already in a significant bra size and started my period 2 months after turning 12, so i wouldn’t go as far as ‘feeling like a child’ by that point tbh.

I had mine done at 12. It did cause me a lot of pain and drama at the time. Salt water fixed it in the end. It is a nasty piercing and is hard to heal. However, I do love it still now and I don't regret it but she is maybe a bit young really at 11. Maybe 13? Piercers would do under 16s in the 1990s with parental consent but I don't know what it's like now. Whatever you do, get it done somewhere properly by someone experienced who is doing these sorts of piercings all the time, like tattoo studio, with a needle not a gun...! Tbh even that sort of environment is not appropriate for 11. The things she may see and hear...

They take ages to heal and can be quite sore, but otherwise, why not?

I don't see the issue either as long as the school are OK with it which would have been my main concern. DD is 8 and having her lobes pierced on Friday. I have 10+ piercings and have explained fully to DD the potential pain and healing process and didn't agree to it until I was sure she understood all the ramifications.

As long as you and DD are happy with the piercing and the process, it really isn't any one else's business.

She has my sympathy, it’s horrible. I would never have had mine done after seeing what can happen.

Our local piercing place is 11 for ear loves and 13 for helix (and older for everything else)

My daughter had her lobes firsts at 12,seconds were 13, helix 14.

I wasn't keen on helix as mine didn't ever sit right when I had mine done and I'd had to take it out (didn't realise how common that was until this thread) but she really wanted it for her birthday so we agreed as we'd told her the risks. I think it's important they can consent and are properly informed (informed consent...) but not nec wrong. I still felt 14 was young in our case though so I wouldn't be keen on 11.

I'm surprised that the piercers did it at that age. The ones local to us want proof of age and 14 is the minimum age they will do helix piercings.

It would be a no to me because I don't think 11 year olds generally understand the risks of cartilage piercings, nor have the maturity to deal with managing the healing process on a piercing that takes much longer than a lobe piercing. They can get infected much easier too.

I'm also surprised school are ok with multiple piercings. Most schools have a mo jewellery rule or a single set of small studs rule.