AIBU to have let my 11 yr old get a piercing at the top of her ear?

[thistooshallarse]

11 yr old got her ears pierced for the first time at 10 yrs old - the standard 2 studs in her lobes

She recently asked if she could get a single extra stud at the top of her ear and
I didn't see why not.

I have since gathered from a few reactions that letting her do this was outrageous, and that absolutely none of her friends would be allowed this. I don't understand why.

A helix piercing?

Im surprised the piercer allowed it given her age. I have quite a few ear piercings and cartilage piercings you must be 16 years old for.

Personally I think 11 is too young for it but I couldn’t get worked up or judgy about it if another mum allowed her 11 year old to have a helix piercing.

I wouldn't see it as a problem in principle but I've had quite a few piercings and honestly the top of my ear has been by far the hardest one to heal. It just won't for some reason and they are prone to keloid type bumps as well. They need a lot of tlc and my only worry would be that an 11 year old wont look after it properly

In my experience cartilage takes a long time to heal and needs more care than lobes. Are you aware of this and did you think about it? It's a lot for an 11 year old to manage. So personally would have waited until she was in early teens to do this.

Dude I've read some WILD stuff on mumsnet in my time but this might be the wildest. You have got to be fucking kidding me?!!!

I have actually, 2 with no issues. My 13 year old has 1. I actually had more trouble with my seconds on my lobe, the bugger on the right kept getting infected. I think as long as she's aware of the healing then it's fine but then I think that should be the way for any decision on piercings

I got this piercing. First of all it's a much trickier piercing. Lobes take 6 weeks to heal. The top of the ear is cartilage and takes at least 6 months to heal maybe more due to less blood flow to the area. This means it takes much longer to heal, 6 months minimum, mine took 10. It also means infection is much more likely and much more serious. I ended up in A & E with cellulitis from mine and the nurses said it's fairly common. The hole also closes up easily before it's healed, and after it's healed if you sleep on your side and it's very tricky changing earrings compared to lobes. I think the consequences of this piercing could be difficult for this age to manage - its nothing to do with the look of it or the actual piercing for me but the after care

What a load of shit.

Top of the ear is alot different then lobes, 11 seems young for this.

If she’s prepared to deal with the aftercare and has really researched it then I would allow it at the start of the summer holidays so it has chance to heal a bit. She can get a clear retainer for school if needed. But my very rule-abiding mum allowed me to get a face piercing at 13 and my coolness level went off the charts so my opinion might be skewed by that 😂

I don't think you're unreasonable to have let her have this done. I had the top of my ear done at a similar age, I can't remember there being any pain or healing problems but I am now in my late 30s so maybe I've just forgotten what it was like!

If you're ok with it and she understands the aftercare and how different a cartilage piercing is in terms of discomfort and how long it takes to heal then why not. But don't get it done with a gun, cartilage really needs to be a proper needle piercing and I don't know if a decent piercer would do an 11 year old.

What happened to you to make you think of piercings and children in this way?

You say she's 11 so is she in primary or secondary school? If it's primary that is fine with it you may well find that secondary aren't.

Would never say this IRL. There is a reason lots of people are uncomfortable with an 11yo having a helix piercing, not just because of the healing issues.

I'm amazed that anyone reputable would pierce an 11 year olds cartilage. The healing process is very different and longer than a lobe piercing and there is more risk of something going wrong. My friends dd got hers done at 18, did everything right in terms of aftercare and she still got an infection and lost part of her ear. There is no chance in hell I'd let my dd get hers done at 11. Did you actually research cartilage piercings at all before you gave your consent? And please God tell us that you didn't go somewhere like Claires and get it done with a gun because it splinters the cartilage

I think it would be a no from me, as from what I understand cartilage piercings require more care as they heal. Im
not sure I’d trust an 11 year old to look after it properly. Though most of the 11 year olds that I know are hear 6 boys, who still play hide and seek and build forts, and an age 11 year 7 girl is probably more grown up! Still, I think it’s a shame when girls move up to secondary and start acting like 16 year olds straight away. They are still pretty small in year 7.

I had mine done when I was 12 and never had any problems with it.

Cartilage piercings are a whole different world to lobes. Lobes have a good bloody supply and heal quickly, and it’s rare to have a problem (even if pierced with a gun which is not ideal). Cartilage has a rubbish blood supply so takes months to heal and they are a lot more susceptible to piercing bumps and infections too. I am a fan of them and have several but I plan them carefully (eg I don’t get one done if I’ve got a holiday imminent) as when they go wrong, it can be very quick and very serious. I’ve been in A&E before now with one. And it’s a commitment for months of not sleeping on it, knocking it, messing with it and cleaning it regularly. I don’t think an 11 year old is ready for the commitment involved.

My other concern would be who’s done it - my studio won’t do cartilage piercings for under 16s, and I think all reputable studios would have a similar age restriction. I would be worried that someone who is prepared to do a helix for an eleven year old is not the most knowledgeable or qualified piercer.

I am probably in the minority but I have never had an issue with piercing as long as school are ok with them and the young person does all the right aftercare - there are far more harmful young person/ teenager behaviours out there to be concerned about.

However the top of the ear is more tricky and can get sore/ infected so is there a compromise- second piercings in the lobe?

More extreme example, but I saw a little girl, maybe 7yo, with a navel piercing an a midriff too, walking in the city with her family. It did seem a bit inappropriate to me.

Wouldn’t say anything to anyone else but I would agree to it.

My dd had it done at 12 and also her nose. I personally don’t see an issue.

Personally, no. My DD had her lobes done at 14..i wasn't happy about that lol but you know. I wouldn't allow top ears. She could do that after 16. 11 far too young, even for lobes tbh...thats just me.

@Bridgertonned

Needles arent meant to be used on under 18s without there being a medical reason,

You just made this up, right?

As long as she understands the risks - worst case scenario she has to have part of her ear amputated if the cartridge becomes necrotic- no problem.
But do consider that at 11 she is still growing and if the cartridge becomes infected then growth of the ear may stop.
A good example of damaged cartridge are the ears of a rugby forward. Show her a few pictures of how her ears could end up if she has repeated infections.

But that’s worst case.