AIBU to have let my 11 yr old get a piercing at the top of her ear?

[thistooshallarse]

11 yr old got her ears pierced for the first time at 10 yrs old - the standard 2 studs in her lobes

She recently asked if she could get a single extra stud at the top of her ear and
I didn't see why not.

I have since gathered from a few reactions that letting her do this was outrageous, and that absolutely none of her friends would be allowed this. I don't understand why.

Where did you find a reputable piercer to do it at that age?

Please don't tell me you took her to Claire's and got it done with a gun 😳

My 10 year old DD has two piercings per ear lobe. I wouldn’t have an issue with the top being done and would hope that people would mind their own business if it’s not something that directly affects them.

If school are fine with it, i dont see why not.
Word of warning though- they are a nighmare to heal and pretty painful to sleep on. When you accidentally catch them, you feel your soul leave your body!
They take a good 12-18 months to stop going manky and infected. I want the other side doing but I’m not sure i can be bothered with the hassle.

What I would say if for that part of the ear she needs to go to a piercing shop that uses a needle. The guns they use in Claire's etc will hurt and the cartilage is really thick. Another thing to note is if you get a piercing with a butterfly back when you sleep it hurts when it squashes the ear. So get a plain back one from peircing shop. It costs more but will be worth it as it can go infected in that area easier I've found.

Not at all I was same age as your DD having my helix pierced best age really had no issues and mine healed fine.

Omg Claire’s. I had my second lobe holes done 20 years ago there and they got the gun stuck in my ear. I had to tell them to stop yanking it.

Standard ears pierced at ten is too much??

As others have said, that type of piercing should be done with a needle. Needles arent meant to be used on under 18s without there being a medical reason, therefore the likelihood is only dodgy piercers will do it. Higher risk of problems healing and a noticeable scar/bump if she gives up on it. Much more difficult than an ear lobe piercing

16+ for anything other than lobes at our local piercers. At that point if she can pay for it and take care of it then it’s up to her.

i slept on a travel pillow for a year after my helix piercing and it healed brilliantly. Is often the sleeping that can irritate it and cause bumps / swelling / irritation / infection

We go to a dedicated piercing place that uses needles and look like a clinic when you go in (maybe not the art work... They also pierce everywhere 😬) Its a brilliant place and place importance on informed consent of they pierce under 16s. I was so impressed with them and they do check with the child they want it!

I felt that if they can handle all the rest of the anatomy and it's their entire reason of being they could manage a helix. But even the they say 13 so I wouldn't go younger than that.

My youngest didn't want to wait until 11 to have her firsts but it's the only place I would go and was able to say it's the rules as well as talk about informed consent.

Anything else is 16+ at ours and more intimate things older still.

I couldn’t get worked up about it personally, but I would make sure to get it done at a decent place with proper after care because mine got
horrendously infected (got it done at Claire’s of course 😂)

Primary or Secondary school if aged 11 now?

It may be that Primary is OK with it but future secondary not, as they tend to have tighter rules.

My dd had a couple of helix piercings when she was 13, and had no issues with them…done in a pro piercing/tattoo studio, with needles and she was less of a wuss than I was having the same done in my 50s😂. I was with her and had to sign consent forms.

My dd had multiple ear piercings by the time she was 14/15, but she knew I wasn’t keen for her to get her bellybutton done so young, so she had to wait till she was 16 for that…I’m not sure what my logic was, it just felt “bigger” than ear piercings! The great thing with piercings is that you can always remove them if you change your mind

My only concern would be if she was to get these at 11, then what will she be pushing for at 14/15?

I don’t think a cartilage piercing is appropriate for an 11 year old personally (and I have two cartilage piercings). It just seems a bit grown up to me for a younger child to have. Also they are quite addictive once you start getting piercings!

Everyone’s experiences are different but with both of mine, I couldn’t sleep on that side for about 6 weeks and you do have to be very careful about knocking and touching it etc.

Of course not, one of my friends had hers done when she was like 8 (back in the 90s!) and still has it in now in her 30s. I'm getting mine done next week at age 35! 🙈

No. She is still a child. Children need to realise that they can't have everything they want instantly. Also piercing through cartilage is incredibly painful and takes forever to heal

I have helix piercings. take ages to heal. I wouldn't let my 11 year old have one yet. Would second/third lobe piercings an alternative? That's was we settled on.

My dd had her lobes needle pierced at 8 by a registered and highly qualified piercer in a tattoo/piercing shop. It was incredibly hygienic as everything was new or sterilised in front of us, even the pen he used. Why wouldn't it be ok for an 8 year old to have this? It's so much cleaner, heals better and is less traumatic for the tissue. They healed really well. I can't believe a gun would be the better option

I'd wait awhile. Friends who have had it done say it took longer to heal than their lobes and was more painful. Seems a bit much for an 11 yo - compounded by some of the comments here about sleeping on it and catching it.

I wouldn't, not until about 16, I had one in the 80s, done at a store and it got infected and I had a cauliflower looking ear and had to have antibiotics.

Not sure school would be too happy with this. Isn't it a health and safety issue during PE etc. She won't be able to temporarily take the jewellery out while it heals.
Once she gets it done it can take upto 18 months to heal and they are notorious for getting irritated/infected, I've got one in each ear. One ear was fine the other was a nightmare.
I personally think 11 is a little young. I would've said 14 minimum.

This would be my reasoning but you know your daughter brst. She may be great at piercing aftercare. I had my first helix piercing at 14 and probably didn’t care for it quite well enough. I felt cool as tho. 16 years later, I now have 10 ear piercings.

Op it is just an ear piercing don't worry. Asking mumsnet though, you will get stuck up responses

Tbh even that sort of environment is not appropriate for 11. The things she may see and hear...

😂 In my local tattoo and piercing place she’d hear the owner chatting about her dogs, holidays, current affairs and whatever’s good on Netflix. And see a reception desk, waiting area and a few doors to private procedure rooms. I’m not sure what kind of den of iniquity your overactive imagination Is creating for you…