AIBU to have let my 11 yr old get a piercing at the top of her ear?

[thistooshallarse]

11 yr old got her ears pierced for the first time at 10 yrs old - the standard 2 studs in her lobes

She recently asked if she could get a single extra stud at the top of her ear and
I didn't see why not.

I have since gathered from a few reactions that letting her do this was outrageous, and that absolutely none of her friends would be allowed this. I don't understand why.

I had my helix pierced at 11, nose at 14. As long as they're old enough to keep the piercings clean I don't see the issue.

yep i would, don't care about ears at all. they easily close up and can't be seen in future

The fact remains that you were very much a child at 11/12. Some girls start puberty even younger and have periods from age 9, they are children. It’s immaturity, not maturity, often combined with crap parenting, that results in children wanting to do things that are more appropriate for older kids/teens.

Oh Jesus 😂 I read a handful of these replies and they’re way OTT.

I had my first helix piercing at 10. Before that I had my lobes at 4 and nose pierced at 9. All with a good old gun, a plaster stuck over them at school and I lived to tell the story! I now have a total of 13 piercings, in a very successful career and not had a problem really with any of them.

Relax, it’s fine!

Be aware that cartilage piercings take a LOT longer to heal than lobe piercings (6-12 months vs 6-12 weeks for a regular lobe), and are more likely to get infected, or knocked / pulled. They can be painful when sleeping as you can't avoid laying on them. Plus there is more likelihood of problems (look up keloids).

While I don't have any issue with ear piercings in general; I don't think I'd allow it for that reason; I don't think an 11 year old is old enough to understand what they are consenting to.

I wouldn't (and I say this as someone who's had many piercings)- they are harder to heal and more prone to infection than lobe piercings.

Thank you to the poster who pointed out that the reason other parents are raising an eyebrow is because it is a thing usually reserved for older teens, like eyelash extensions or high heels. That explains it to me.

I still think it's illogical, but I get it now.

And for all those advising against and saying how long it will take to heal - it is already done - months ago - and it healed very quickly. I have a lot of piercings myself and I never found the top of the ear was slow to heal. I guess we're all different.

It's interesting 100s of people siad it can be slow to heal. I agree with this. In my experience it can heal then can go back to square one with healing if knocked etc.

This is no big deal suppose. I just think I'd have done a bit of research first before letting my child have this. Not just base it in my own experience. But it seems to have worked out OK.

I’m glad it worked out ok, I think she was lucky, it’s more common for it to be slow to heal and apparently absolutely not one issue with it so I am not sure why you asked this in the first place? She already has it, you already don’t mind. You already took the risk with your own child to be a cool mom. You don’t care what other people think about it. What was the point in this 😂😂

The one positive is that hopefully it’s spread some education on what is commonly found with cartilage piercings being challenging and maybe others won’t rush into it assuming it’s the same as a soft lobe piercing. As parents we are responsible for what risks we take with our children and this isn’t risk free.

Glad it healed well! I've tried to get that piercing 3 times now and each time had to give up because it wouldn't heal, I guess my ears just don't like it!

i had it done once before and it failed, had to take it out.

First time it was done by gun, with a butterfly back, and i was not told how to properly care for it, so slept on it..etc.

This time it was done by a piercer, with a needle, i was taught the proper after care (spray with sterilised water twice daily and no touchy), with the proper flat back labret piercings, not sleeping on it...etc I still go an infection that needed antibiotics after an absent minded dirty washing machine water incident, and still lost one of the 3 i had done after it refused to heal, so i took it out (was a triple helix piercing and was the very bottom of the 3 so i think was getting irritated) but 18 months on the remaining two are healed and fine.

The key for me was the proper care, and switching out the post labret piercings for rings soon as it was safe (about 9 months post piercing)

I had my helix pierced when I was 17 and I couldn't sleep on my left hand side for 1 1/2 years. I eventually admitted defeat and took it out.

Would not recommend.

Glad it healed well! Maybe there is something in getting it done younger? I know studies have shown that the chance of keloids are reduced when 11 or younger, maybe healing is often quicker too?

Glad it's worked out well. I think for me it just seems like something really grown up, so I wouldn't let my child do it. It's not overly logical as you say, but it just feels like a studenty/adult kind of look rather than a little girl.

Leaving aside the risks, I honestly think it’s too grown up for an 11 year old child. It will make her look older and less innocent than she is. Maybe that isn’t logical but it would be a firm no from me until my child was older. Yep, now prepared to be flamed for that!

I've got nine ear piercings including three at the top of my ear and one in my daith, so clearly I love pierced ears. But piercing any part of the ear that isn't the lobe isn't a great idea for a child.

The ear lobe is very easy to pierce because it's just soft flesh and heals quickly. The top of the ear is cartilage and piercing it is a bigger deal physically. Most proper piercing studios will not pierce cartilage on children, even with parental consent - the place I go to won't pierce anything other than earlobes on under-16s, and requires parental consent for 16-18s.

It takes a lot longer to heal and infection can be more of a problem - if the cartilage gets damaged or badly infected, there's a risk of getting a cauliflower ear, and obviously a child's ears are smaller and more delicate than an adults. If they used a gun rather than a needle, the cartilage can shatter and leave permanent damage. Just because Claire's Accessories will do it, that doesn't mean it's a good idea.

It's also very likely that she'll have to take it out as soon as she starts secondary school. Not many schools allow more than one piercing.

While I don't care what your kid's ears look like, on a practical level I think it was a pretty poor decision on your part.

@KreedKafer I'm also surprised that a piercer was willing to do it. It seems incredibly irresponsible.

I agree tbh.

I’m glad she healed well but, echoing others, I’m surprised a piercer would agree to do this to such a young child. Most would say 16+ as a minimum.