AIBU to have let my 11 yr old get a piercing at the top of her ear?

[thistooshallarse]

11 yr old got her ears pierced for the first time at 10 yrs old - the standard 2 studs in her lobes

She recently asked if she could get a single extra stud at the top of her ear and
I didn't see why not.

I have since gathered from a few reactions that letting her do this was outrageous, and that absolutely none of her friends would be allowed this. I don't understand why.

This happened to me when I first got my ears pierced (usual earlobe piercing) One ear got infected (and I had to go to A&E where they pulled the whole thing out through the back of my ear) even though I'd been cleaning them properly. And I was 17. I think 11 is too young for anything even more likely to cause problems.

I don’t think people who haven’t had cartridge piercings understand the torture of trying to sleep on them for months on end. I commented on page 1 and I still stand by I don’t think a 11yo is equipped to deal with the pain which can last months. It isn’t the same as a slightly sore soft lobe. Mine is 2 years old now and only just properly healed and no longer gives me hell

Yr6 or yr7?
Helix piercing carries more risks, takes longer to heal, and more car than lobes.
It also looks edgier and more adult than I might prefer for a 11 Yr old.

Primary schools tend to be more relaxed about earnings than secondary in my experience.

The care of a cartilage piercing is a WHOLE other ballgame than lobe piercings.

They take a long time to heal, and she will not be allowed/able to sleep on that ear for at LEAST 12 months, or it can distort the piercing, cause pain, keloids, infections... etc.

I am 42 and have a double helix piercing up on the top of my ear, its currently 16months old, i still can't sleep on it comfortably without it being sore the next day. I had 3 to start with (Triple helix) but lost one due to it not healing properly.

I have a lot of piercings, and personally i would not recommend ANYONE under 18 getting a cartilage piercing because the after care is not simple and needs dedication.

Dd is 5 and had 2 piercings in each ear. I don't see the problem with an 11 year old having their upper ear done. I've no doubt dd will want that done when she's that age if not before.

Has 2 piercings, not had.

I had mine done over 20 years ago when i was 9. I asked my dad so many times and he kept saying no.. then eventually said do what you want so my mum took me to get it done.
I've still got the piercing now and it didn't ruin my life in any way!

I personally wouldn't encourage it at 11. But each to their own. I'd be concerned about healing.

I've got two holes in each lobe, and the "newest" holes are almost 20 years old, yet still give me trouble sometimes! Even with "nice" metals in.

I got mine done around the same age. Back in the day when it was a gun. Ouch! Mine never healed as it kept getting caught in my hair, so if she does get it done please be vigilant on healing and care.

At 11 I don’t think that’s a suitable age. Top of the ear gets stuck on everything, so kids being kids there’s a possibility that might get ripped out. I think it’s more of a 13/14 year old thing to consider getting. Basically as a teen. A lot can change in a few years, so maybe wait.

If it is a cartilage piercing, you just need to keep an eye on it. They take forever to heal and are best with a threaded stud as less likely to catch. No twiddling and lots of cleaning with saline.

For whatever reason a helix piercing is considered an older teen thing - its a bit like you might not let a 11 year old have lash extensions or wear heels, or whatever, but no one would blink if they saw a 16 year old doing these things.

But of course some parents would be OK with an 11 year old doing what 16 year olds tend to do - its up to you.

For context I have encouraged my daughter to think carefully about her piercings - the key reason because she will have scarring if she would ever decide not to use them anymore. She has also needed doctor's visits due to infections requiring antibiotics - and not because she didn't look after them properly because she did. Some people just take a while to heal from piercings and the hellix piercing is well known for this problem.

Cartlidge piercing is usually for 14 plus. I'm not sure reputable piercers would do this on an 11 year old. Most parents don't let their children rush ahead of doing things more common in older teens. You can't therefore be surprised by other people's reactions. Hope it heals well.

DD was 14 and she was lucky in that it healed quite well and never had a problem sleeping on it. It did get quite the healing bump though and that was a bit painful until it went bang. But she knew what to do and was old enough to deal with it. She also thinks 11 is too young to have it done.

I got mine done at 11 back in the late 90s. As long as you got it pierced properly (with a needle, not a gun) and school are OK , no problem.

Of course you’re not- how silly that people see the top of the ear as so different. As long as you are aware of the longer healing time and look after it, it’s really no drama. Especially in a child- blood circulation is better so it’s an easier heal.
I had mine done at 12 and I still wear it at 44. With a gun too! Which I definitely don’t recommend

I wouldn't at 11, no. That's because I've had one of those piercings and it was pretty painful and uncomfortable to sleep on it for a very long time. You really have to look after it properly too after having it done. I'd wait a few years.

We don’t recommend external threads anymore. Internally threaded labret bars are best.

I think 11 is way too young for this.

@colouredball that was the advice we got from our legal dept (eng and Wales) If you know otherwise, or if it's changed, happy to hear it. What we were told is that if there isnt a medical need then using a needle on an 18 isn't something any practitioner would be assured to do. Same for tattoos.
We seek the advice due to caring for children where we hold PR and have to agree or decline these requests.

I would proceed with caution because they can be an absolute nightmare to heal.

I had a double helix, one of them didn't heal and I had had enough of the pain (throbbing all the time requiring ibuprofen) so I took it out. The other one did heal eventually but it was painful whilst it did.

I'm currently battling with my rook and my tragus after 6+ months but by now I know what I'm dealing with and I'm refusing to give in.

I would be concerned that if her piercings went the same way as mine she wouldn't be able to deal with it so young but they could heal fine, you just never know. My first and second lobes got done as a child no problem but my helix as a 14 year old didn't heal, belly button at 18 then 3rd lobes and one helix. Sometimes they've been so painful that there is no way I would let anyone near me to take them out if there was an issue and when they are playing up I flinch when someone approaches my head, not ideal with 2 kids and a husband!

I also haven't slept on a normal pillow for years...

I'm in my 30s and stubborn so I'm willing to do these things but I think it's a bit much for a child but like I say, they might heal fine.

Just something to consider before doing it. As far as the idea in principle for that age, fine, can't see an issue, if you were thinking nipples then I could see why people were horrified. Incidentally I had mine done recently and they've been absolutely fine, my tattoos also fine so it's clearly just an ear thing with me (yet I never learn and still go back for more 🙄)

it's one of the trickier piercings to look after, painful to get and to heal, awkward for sleeping on. It really needs babying so as not to get infected or to reject. i think it's one for an older teenager who can look after it properly. I've had this piercing as an adult and had to remove as it was rejecting, now scarred.

Most parents don't let their children rush ahead of doing things more common in older teens. You can't therefore be surprised by other people's reactions
This sums it up.
It amazes me that when parents choose to allow their pre-teens do things typically associated with older teens they're surprised that other parents raise an eyebrow.

I have a lot of piercings, including 3 helix and a triple reverse helix. I have been quite lucky with all my piercings, but those helix piercings were buggers to heal. I wouldn't let my daughter to have one until they were a bit older. They take a lot of care.

I’ve no idea where ‘your legal department’ are getting their information but it’s complete rubbish.