AIBU to have let my 11 yr old get a piercing at the top of her ear?

[thistooshallarse]

11 yr old got her ears pierced for the first time at 10 yrs old - the standard 2 studs in her lobes

She recently asked if she could get a single extra stud at the top of her ear and
I didn't see why not.

I have since gathered from a few reactions that letting her do this was outrageous, and that absolutely none of her friends would be allowed this. I don't understand why.

Because it takes so long to heal, and you shouldn’t sleep on it, I’d encourage her to have another set of lobes or a single lobe instead.

YABU. My daughter's (20s) spends half the time being infected or sore. Her friend ended up in hospital with sepsis from hers and was lucky not to lose a section of her ear. So it would defintely be a no from me.

The multiple lobe piercings are fine - just not the cartilage.

I don’t think it’s massively inappropriate or anything but I probably wouldn’t say yes because of the time it takes to heal and in case it gets infected. Second or third lobe piercings so long as allowed by school I would be absolutely fine with though.

@DarkForces I said thats the reason not to do it, not that the alternative would be to go down to Claire's and get it done with a gun!.

We have to check out the legalities of things like this from time to time in relation to my job. Any insurer using a needle on an 11yr old isn't insured, regardless of how professional their set up looks.

Do a search on youtube for dr pimple popper top of ear keloids.
She'll likely change her mind pretty quickly.

My daughter, now 18 had her ears pierced once at five twice at 11 and another three times along with her nose and her bellybutton when she was about 16-17.

I saw absolutely no reason to deny any of these requests.

We made sure we abided by school guidelines on piercings, covering up or removing when necessary for school activities.

She had them done safely, and in a place where I knew she would be well taken care of. I made it a rule that she was in charge of the after-care, and she has had no problems thus far..

I would rather that than her get one of her friends to pierce bits of her in a bedroom with a needle that was not sterilised. Having holes in her ears is very unlikely to impact her future prospects.

definitely not! It’s much more painful and harder to heal and any reputable place won’t do it

But have you ever had a cartilage piercing? Most reputable places wouldn’t even do it on a child aged 11 which tells you something and also it can be very different in terms of pain and healing to just having your lobes pierced.

This is true. My daughter was warned about this by a surgeon. If a cartilage piercing goes wrong it’s very serious.

I'm generally a pretty chilled parent but no way would I agree to this. Cartlidge piercings need a special effort to care for them properly.

Same reason I wouldn't allow a tattoo at 11, can wait till 18

Funnily enough, all schools are different. My dd’s primary don’t have to wear uniform if they choose not to. My ds secondary school can wear black trainers.

Where did you find a place that did this? Most places don’t allow a second piercing until 14. My friend at school had piercings up her whole ear around 14 but then again her mum used to buy us all 20 fags on a regular basis lol

Cartilage piercings are hard to heal and can be sore for a long time, so it would be a no from me til maybe 14 or 15. I might agree to second lobe piercings.

Agree with others re caution due to healing process. I had this done as a young teen and it became infected and swollen due to sleeping on it and was very painful and had to be removed.

All reputable piercers refuse to do cartilage piercings on under 16s. It takes so much longer for them to heal than lobes.

OP - I had the to of my ear pierced when I was in my teens. I’m 45 now and it’s STILL a pain.

The area is cartilage and nervy and unluckily for me they hit something VERY painful. At first I assumed it was just standard healing, but I was 16 and it still wasn’t healed after 18 months. I couldn’t sleep on that side for years. I took it out eventually, it never healed up again and even now if I sleep on that side it feels like my ear is bruised.

I would be very careful with this area and maybe do a little more research. It’s lovely you’re being a cool mum, but this bit of the ear is weird!

It really has to be pierced with a needle and I doubt a reputable place will do so at that age, so I wouldn’t be happy with my 11 year old being pierced in the cartilage by somewhere dodgy or with a gun. It is painful and takes a long time to heal but really it’s the knowledge that the decent piercers wouldn’t do it at 11 years that would stop me agreeing.

It's just a piercing on the ear, I really don't think it's a big deal at all. Why all the pearl clutching that you should be 16? It's on the ear but just higher than the lobe. Schools is fine about it so I'd crack on

There is a girl in my daughter’s primary 7 class. 11/12 year old. She has her nose pierced. Why would a mother allow this? I’d also be asking who pierced it.

The whole point of the much loved MN boundaries is you decide, not others. YANBU.

I’m guessing from your post that you haven’t had a cartilage piercing yourself? It’s very different to a lobe piercing.

I wouldn't, cartilage piercings are notoriously an arse to heal properly.

Personally I find the whole concept of punching holes into little girls to make them prettier kind of weird. "I'm going to pierce a hole through my child's body and insert a shiny rock. Doesn't it look nice?". Odd.

Never fails to amaze me how uptight some people on Mumsnet are. It’s a cartilage piercing, not a full face tattoo. Lots of reputable piercers will do cartilage piercings with parental consent. And there’s no need for the ‘appropriate environment’ snobbery.
OP, make sure she goes back to downsize her jewellery after 10-14 days. Piercing bumps are caused by oversized jewellery or jewellery material causing irritation. Keep it clean but don’t fiddle with it too much whilst doing it, don’t spin it. (Former piercing artist here, fully qualified etc etc.) Neilmed spray is your best bet. Any problems, take her back to your piercer.