Night out drama - old boss

[Geordielass35]

I've been on a hen night in Belfast. It's been a great weekend and people have been so friendly. Been drinking and dancing, went to the Titanic museum as well.

My old boss is on the hen night. She was a bitch at times when I worked with her and was very judgemental of others, including me, when I worked for her.

Anyway tonight she has clearly cheated on her husband. I saw her leave the bar with a man now I can hear her in the next room and she's not alone...

I know people that know both of them. Do I say something or just keep it quiet, since it's none of my business. I'm desperate to tell people and it's wrong what she did, but is it my business to mention it?! I'm torn on it. Reasonable or not reasonable to tell the people close to her husband?

Exactly I’ve been struggling to understand this person too thought it was just me I’m with you 💯

@dapsnotplimsolls not at all. Was a great weekend. "The shagger" 😂

Haven't RTFT but just wanted to warn you OP that this post is quite outing, given the specific details/location and also your username.

You no longer work with her. You don't know her husband so you don't owe him your loyalty. Apart from making a comment about how thin the walls are you don't need to say or do anything else. You already knew she was a bitch...what's changed ? (And no I wouldn't be saying anything else if the roles were reversed)

Not your circus OP

No one is defending cheaters 🙄 many just don’t have an opinion on people they dont know particularly well if I they are cheating as they don’t know what is going on in their relationship we don’t claim the moral high ground

would I think a man who is a horrible bully towards his wife deserves to know no I wouldn’t or a man who continuously cheats on his wife deserves to know he wife has cheated on him for one night no again i wouldn’t

and we as we don’t often know what truly goes on in relationships from the outside (sometimes even from the inside)

I can't take credit for that one!

We don’t really know what goes on in anyone’s life if the truth was known but the husband deserves to know about his cheating wife most people would want to know if there partner was cheating regardless of who is telling them like I said before speaking from experience so glad most ppl agreev

@bonzaitree I am pleased that I didn't say anything and get involved. It came out regardless. Now it's down to her to sort it out, not my problem. Others who are closer to her and her husband may say something, that's up to them and out of my control. I'll see her at the wedding and won't have another reason to see her after that.

But I was responding to another poster that asked if we were the husbands position would we not want to know, not to the OP herself. I was saying personally yes I would like to be told but I wouldn't like the information to come through multiple other people that have no reason to be told imo. We don't all want our personal business on blast particularly before we get our own heads around the situation - but equally if my OH did this I wouldn't be protecting his reputation or covering for his behaviour once id gotten my head together and ducks were in a row

Well ideally we'd all like that but shit happens. By the time I found out about my exH cheating, half the town knew. I was still very grateful to the person who told me. It was his shame, not mine.

@MILLYmo0se the point we are making it doesn’t matter who tells you everybody has the right to know if they are being cheated on when you say you wouldn’t want multiple ppl telling you you do realise everyone else usually knows before the victim so what does it matter if more ppl didn’t say it’s not my business and actually told someone they were being cheated on maybe multiple ppl wouldn’t know

God the holier than thou posters are excruciating!

I don't believe for a second that outside of this post, the majority of these posters who claim they would act as the moral police in this situation and would have the balls to interfere in a marriage by telling the wronged husband/wife the truth. It is not Eastenders.

If you get involved and decide to publicly meddle, you may feel a short-lived sense of self-righteousness but ultimately you will look like a shit stirrer and people will stop inviting you to events as they will feel anxious letting their hair down in your presence. Who wants someone on a night out who has form for reporting back what they have seen to people's spouses?

The dignified, emotionally mature thing to do would be to stay well out of it and be glad to not be involved in the drama. Infidelity happens within a great deal of marriages-far more than you think. You have no idea what happens between couples behind closed doors. Humans are complex beings and the black and white thought process that being a cheater equates to being a terrible person is prevalent in so many of these posts.

So you wouldn't want to be told your partner is cheating yeah right

The woman cheating is someone the OP doesn't particularly like or care about, has no connection to her husband and is unlikely to see either of then after the wedding. What would be the actual point of painting yourself as someone who meddles in the marriages of others?

Cheating within marriages happens all the time in many forms, it's the reason escorts/adultwork is absolutely rife (but that's a post for another day). Who actually cares what this woman chooses to do? In this situation the OP has done the right thing, stayed out of the drama and maintained her own peace. The priority on a hen do is the bride and her enjoyment.

Somehow I don't think her partner is the cheat in her relationship.

I will stick with what I think thanks ...again would you want to know if you were being cheated on

She is the cheat he deserves to know end off

Thanks everyone but I'm sticking to what I think speaking from experience I believe he should know everyone is entitled to there own opinions absolutely but i wont be budging on mine enjoy your day

Are you the cheater in your relationship?

Lols. The young naive bitch in me would have probably banged on the door and got in the room too realize "oops I'm in the wrong room!" An walk back out again. So that she knows you know lols

I would definitely say, karma has a way of catching up. Also, think of her husband. It’s simple really, if someone knew that your partner was cheating, you would want to know. And you can do it indirectly too.
You aren’t the bad one here, remember that.

Why would you even consider telling. Just because you don’t like her. What happened to girl code. And yh I would expect men to keep it secret too. It’s not your business end of. Unless you were really close to her husband then you really should stay out of it. Ready to wreck someone’s relationship for revenge, that’s pretty low.

Is bullying an underling at work in line this "girl code"?

Ooft, I'd stay out of it.
She may be a shit but it's not my business and I'm not bringing bad drama to my door.