Night out drama - old boss

[Geordielass35]

I've been on a hen night in Belfast. It's been a great weekend and people have been so friendly. Been drinking and dancing, went to the Titanic museum as well.

My old boss is on the hen night. She was a bitch at times when I worked with her and was very judgemental of others, including me, when I worked for her.

Anyway tonight she has clearly cheated on her husband. I saw her leave the bar with a man now I can hear her in the next room and she's not alone...

I know people that know both of them. Do I say something or just keep it quiet, since it's none of my business. I'm desperate to tell people and it's wrong what she did, but is it my business to mention it?! I'm torn on it. Reasonable or not reasonable to tell the people close to her husband?

It doesn’t matter what I think or you think we don’t know the other person or their circumstances

and we don’t know for sure what happened

would I want a stranger contacting me telling me they think my partner had possibly cheated on me because they saw x,y and z and heard something I think first reaction would be why are you telling me this. I might possibly if I suspected something but then again I might be going through a terrible time and this is the last thing I need to deal with

I have been in this position it’s painfil I wished I had known sooner but I still don’t feel we should go around meddling in business that is not our own and applying our own moral beliefs on to others

Not possibly cheated, definitely cheated. The woman has admitted it. We do know for sure what happened. Have you not read OPs updates?

You must be disappointed that she’s told everyone herself.

You clearly have enough identifying info in your opening post so that this woman or anyone else who was on the hen party would recognise her.

No I didn’t o replied to my post

but I still stand by I do not think it’s other peoples business (unless close) to get involved in anyway

people are not always loyal that’s life it’s between them not a load of busy bodies correcting the ways of others

If what happened to me? It's nothing to do with the OP what this old boss does - she could be in an open relationship for all we know.

Well that's up to you if you'd rather not know. I am eternally grateful to the person who let me know when I was being cheated on. I didn't care about their motivation for telling me. It's not wrong to want to know.

I have not said it’s not wrong to want to know

I have questioned why people feel it’s for them to go around informing of other peoples infidelity when they are not really known to the couple involved

*I have not said it’s wrong to want to know

No idea why you are quoting me, I'm not defending a cheater. I think the husband should know but the question isn't should I tell him, it's should I tell a group of other people and maybe one of them will tell him.

Thank you 💯 same x

It doesn’t matter he needs to know WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW REGARDLESS???????

Well he won’t mind knowing either way then will he

I'm quoting you because you said the OP was "proposing gossiping about it". Once again, who cares? The woman shouldn't be cheating publicly if she doesn't want people "gossiping" about it.

Exactly

So if you were cheated on only close friends and family can tell you if it’s someone else you wouldn’t want to be told because they only know of you WHAT give your head a wobble

It doesn’t matter who or what ppl deserve to know they are being cheated on I’m talking from experience I’m bloody glad I was told and it wasn’t from a friend or family or someone close to me it matter NOT I got the truth

She clearly heard them shaggin I couldn’t give I shit if it was a stranger or not as long as I got to know my partner was a cheat and she has openly admitted it now you say you wish you had known sooner when it happened to you …you are making no sense at all ….the man deserves to know a cheat is a cheat

ITA! The double standards are obvious.

There have been posts on here before with someone knowing another person's DP/DH cheated on a stag outing and it's always, "Tell the OH what he did! She needs to get checked for STDs! He has no respect for the marriage and has probably cheated before! Tell her so she can kick him out!"

But, the woman cheats and it's enhanced "bro code" time.

Ok if you feel comfortable meddling in other peoples business who you don’t really know (what if he is an extremely violent man/woman) for what ever reason it makes you feel better that is down to you

most people thankfully do not they deal with their own lives support those within their family/friendship circle

and no it makes no difference if it’s a man or woman cheating I’m not involved with their lives it’s not my business to get involved with their lives

it’s only a step away from having morality police

Before the OP updated and said that the cheater had “fessed up” my reaction was not to tell, purely because, if this woman has previously given her grief, she would just be giving her ammunition to start causing trouble again.
With the update I think that the cheater and her DH sound as if they deserve each other and should be left to sort out their own lives.

He deserves to know no matter who it comes from I was great full for the person who told me everyone knew but me so glad most -pl agree he deserves to know it’s shocking ppl think it’s ok

Yes once he has been told she hasn’t fessed up to him yet just her friends

I don't get the point of the post - you said in your post that it's none of your business.

Meddling in other peoples business? That's how you see it? And yet you claim not to be defending cheaters. Yeah right.

I hope the Hen doesn't feel like her weekend has been ruined by the Shagger's shenanigans.