Need urgent advice , how to tell dcs that exh has died

[SpinningCat2]

Hi

I've just been informed that exh has died. Very suddenly, dcs not had contact for quite a few years , dcs are 25,23,22,19.

Dc25 is at work untill 10pm , do I tell other 3dcs with out eldest dc,

Worried it will come out on sm (sadly exh family have form for this)

What do I do, dear god Jjust how do I tell them

I'm so sorry OP. Tell them all together. Even if they've had limited contact, it will still be a shock & they will likely process the news differently, still their dad after all. Good luck.

Bloody hell, what an arsehole!

You're too kind! (Seriously).

Anyone up ? Can't sleep , just keep seeing flashes of our life together, we had 25 years in total, this B isn't how I thought it would all turn out , divorced and my kids losing Thier dad at such a young age . It's like a movie reel inmy head , mostly our early , just sssooooo in love days at uni.

I know it's my kids I need to think of but dam this hurts as well

And if you really want to know how much of an arsehole he was, get this. When I was in utero, he was drink driving and knocked over and killed a neighbour. After escaping a custodial sentence, he continued to drink and drive for the rest of his life. He beat my mother. He left us without food. Arsehole really doesn't cover it.

I haven't been with anyone since him , I wanted to raise the kids then it would be my time ,so I've been on my own since 2012, I could really use a strong pair of arms to hold me

I must have missed your earlier posts, are you ok? I'm up and can chat if you want.

Thank you

It's like I've been on alert all the years since we separate protecting the kids , he could have been so much more in Thier lives and said ) did some very unkind things over the years. But now he's never going to hurt them again, the protective wall I put up has just crumbled and all the emotions are just pouring our

As a general rule, funherals are public evens and can be attended by anyone, so the kids could attend the service if they wish. You don't usuallly get invited to a funeral.
I'm so sorry for you're loss, what a shock.

I'm also sorry for my typos, but it's almost 3am and I'm not well atm

Fuuuuuuuuuuck

Yeah, way worse than mine. Even worse than a combination of drunken violent brother and drunken maudlin adulterous father. I'm so sorry you went through that.

I'm a little bit lost as threads seem to have merged or something. Have you separated? Or ex has passed away? Sorry if I'm being thick, just trying to figure it out. Pm if you like.

Thank you. I really appreciate that. I'm 'over' it now, but you never really get over it. There are so many stories, I could be here all night. But it'd do nobody any good. He was just a pig, it wasn't my fault, or my mum's. But my god, the havoc he bestowed upon us was unreal. And I can only imagine the other family. Horrible, awful excuse for a man. He got the death he deserved.

Exh died today , it's brought up a surprising amount of emotion in me ,
Some of the other recent posts are others on the thread talking if Thier own trauma with nc parents

Oh, I'm so sorry. That must be a very strange feeling for you.

Oh and he was adulterous too (for good measure). Cunt.

My thread seems to have derailed, to difficult for anyone on the original to follow my posts, I think I just have to leave it here and hopefully get some sleep

Very sorry to hear that. Must be difficult mix of emotions. Hope you have a good sleep and feel a bit better tomorrow xx

Hope you get a decent sleep x

My ex died a few weeks ago - I sent his partner (the OW) a card ) and attended his funeral. His partner thanked me for the card and we had a few hugs during the day - I went with her and our children's blessing. Even though it was a messy divorce, he was still the father of my children. My kids have always been in touch with their dad though. Do what feels right to you - hugs x

Fair play to you. Very classy. Sorry for your loss.

Just want to say i think you’ve been given a hard time on this thread.

I’ve been NC with my dad for 20 years. It wouldn’t happen, but I would sure as shit be pissed off if i was called home from work to give me that news. People need to appreciate that we are all different.

I hope your 2 upset DC are ok Op.

I’m so sorry, I hit the yabu poll as I scrolled, which was a total accident and not ok when you’re going through this :( I’m so sorry for the pressure this put on you and I’ll go read the thread but I hope it has gone as well as possible in the circumstances <3

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that.