To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

I'm sure she is grateful. I also think her parents should be grateful to her. It's a reciprocal arrangement.
She sounds like a great daughter - working hard and contributing.

If she was contributing fairly she'd be paying
Council tax
Gas
Water
Electricity
Broadband
Any tv subscriptions (including sky)
Food
Then incidental costs, paying towards a broken washing machine, emergency Plummer etc.

We don't know if the parents own their own house or if renting but if renting she should be contributing and if own their own it should be a contribution towards upkeep.

I'm not saying she SHOULD pay an equal share, but if she is not then her parents can dictate things like shower times.

If she is an equal and paying the same as her parents then she could in theory have more of an equal say.

Are they talking about the time in the bathroom or the actual shower time? Do they time you?
I don't think it's excessive even if it's actual shower time, I have long thick hair and it takes a while to wash condition and rinse and wipe the shower with fresh water to clean it after.

I agree with this. That's why, honestly, I think loving parents wouldn't charge their kids more than they absolutely have to, so they have a chance to save and gain their independence.
Rents these days are obscenely high.

But it's not just about money. I'm sure OP contributes to the household in other ways too.
OP is both working and studying. I think a 15-minute shower as a way to wind down is totally fair enough.

Hmm, depends. In furnished private rentals/lodgings, the landlord would be responsible for things like the washing machine or plumber.

Totally. Also, OPs parents would paying for that stuff anyway, whether she's there or not.

Totally. Also, OPs parents would paying for that stuff anyway, whether she's there or not.

That depends, when my son lived at home the place was filthy, black grimy hand prints all over the walls, which needed repainting regularly, his general heavy handedness meant the peddle bin was broken/replaced regularly along with bent utensils, broken door handles and ripped sofas, broken cupboard doors, ripped shower curtain, broken bed, broken garden chairs, wallpaper hanging off and filthy carpets.
Some people are just hard wearing (or don't care) and he cost us an absolute fortune in maintenance and I haven't had to decorate or replace anything in the 3 years since he lived here.

15 minutes is a lot if its everyday.

Gas costs to heat water are sky high. I assume in mainland UK so will be paying for water bills too?

I would be pissed as well if someone did this in my house.

I shower daily but these are normally only up to about 5 mins and there will be slightly longer once at 15 mins once per week where I do the full works - shaving etc so it'll take a bit longer.

@mittensmum OP said she's both working and studying, so she's probably out/busy mostly anyway. It also sounds like she's conscientious about paying her way. Also, obviously very clean! So, I'm guessing she really respects the house.
A 50p to £1 shower a day completely fair enough considering the £100 weekly contribution.

The parents could be getting a top up of UC if they have dc so if that includes a housing element, all adults income will be taken into consideration and a deduction made for a working adult because they'd be expected to contribute toward the rent.

15 minutes is far too long to be in the shower daily.
Not to mention the steam and condensation in the shower after.

Also it doesn't do your skin any good at all so even without factoring in the cost and water waste you're not benefiting from all that time in there.

Absolutely this, standing under a steaming hot shower for ages is very drying of the throat and chest area.

I'd have thought the opposite funnily enough, as steam inhalation is often recommended for congested chests etc. I'm not an expert on the subject though.
I know I always feel revived after a hot bath! One of my favourite things in the world 😊

@Ruminate2much I honestly don't disagree with you in an ideal world that parents could charge their kids less and even save their kids contributions for when they were ready to buy (my aunt and uncle did this for my cousin's in secret-it taught them financial responsibility and gave them a deposit they didn't know they'd saved). If the OP were from a family who were financially comfortable enough I'd say £400 was too much, however, if a family is struggling to the point they are timing showers, many aren't turning their heating on at all and every penny counts then actually they can't afford to live themselves and in this climate with so many using food banks and getting into dreadful debt and mental health issues are at an all time high so you have to see the bigger picture and stop making out the OP's parents are wrong. An extra adult contributing £100 per week is not OTT, if she was a little older I don't think you'd be saying the same. The way I see it is, the options are

1. The parents house her and charge her less/nothing so she can save (if she chooses)but they can't afford day to day living themselves and eventually will get repossessed or have to leave at the next rent increase. OP has to find somewhere else to live at much higher rates because she can't live at the family home because they don't have it anymore..... They are all financially unstable and no one has a nice home to live in, including the OP. They all lose.

1. OP contributes £100 per week, lives in her family home as long as she needs whilst still being able to save and enjoy her life, with minor inconvenience like showers are shorter. Her family's financial situation will likely improve as the children get older and less dependent. Everyone is better off.

1. OP moves out and they will have less out goings, if they are still not able to make ends meet the family can rework finances and potentially downsize if they need to. Anyone who thinks one less adult in the house will not make much difference to the food and utility bills, we can agree to disagree.

@tryinghereOP I think your original comments are because you genuinely don't understand what it's like for your parents and how could you, you're only young and it's amazing that you are working hard and earning. Make a plan, you aren't responsible for your family, but I'm certain you can all be better off if you stick with it and try and work with them on cost cutting it will help you in the long run too. You sound like a good person, please don't take my responses as negativity towards you, it's honestly not.

Absolutely this, standing under a steaming hot shower for ages is very drying of the throat and chest area.
Well now that's just not true.

Long showers causing condensation presumably cost more in wear and tear in the bathroom, which young people often don't factor in. My dc pays keep, but I've spent as much in replacing broken or damaged stuff as they pay. The carpet cleaner is here right now, for that reason.

Sorry, to clarify I meant the skin, not internally.

Ah, OK. Actually I worry sometimes that I over wash, in terms of my skin. I probably should cut back 🤭
I've got OCD though, so it's a bit tricky.
Sorry btw, I've engaged with you on other threads, and often like what you have to say, so I felt guilty slightly disagreeing with you (or more questioning what you said) here. But, I guess people rarely agree on absolutely everything, and it's a fairly innocuous subject 😊

Ok so just for research purposes I just timed how long it took me to shower, I did it as I usually would and it took 9 and a half minutes. I don't know how I'd get it less than about 9. I do have long thick hair though which makes a massive difference

Anyway, I'm marvelling at the fact this thread has almost reached full capacity! It's a funny thing with Mumsnet, you just never know which threads will be popular and which won't, or for what reason?!

I'm very impressed by your dedication to the subject. I'm tempted to time my next one. But the thread will probably be full by then! I reckon it'll be similar, or a bit longer. I've also got long hair 😊

And that op has left everyone to crack on without her because she got all the advice she needed in the first few posts, thanked everyone and moved on.

Showers and baths are wonderful things, that gives most of us joy. The end!