To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

Water companies say you should try and spend 4 minutes in the shower max. I usually take 8, but I don’t know why it takes so long. I’m rushing and l can’t bring the time down.

I wouldn’t choose to have four kids myself but people do for various reasons. From what the OP has said she doesn’t appear to have suffered, she has good job at a young age and her parents are still happy to have her live at home.

OP you've said twice that you realise you were being a bit unreasonable and that you didn't mean to speak badly of your mum. Fair play to you. It's hard when you're only finding your feet and still living at home, yes some people do move out at 18 and are fully self sufficent etc at your age but most of us weren't. You don't know what you don't know! And as you said, you've now realised that it's very expensive to run a house and that 15 minutes in the shower is quite long. You do contribute at home and you've had a bit of a wakeup call. I wish you well with your studies

YOU ARE PAYING TO LIVE THERE! If they were paying all the bills I would understand but they’re not! you are paying £400 per month for a bedroom, to use the water & electricity. I don’t think they’re reasonable to moan at you about this at all.
It’s not your fault your parents don’t have a lot of money, it’s not your fault your mom isn’t working. Save up & move out, then you can shower as much as you want without being moaned at!

I suppose one question to ask yourself - when you move out and you're paying for your your own water/ electricity/ gas: would you have a long shower everyday or is this something you would compromise to save money?

And if we are are taking a poll I would spend 15 minutes in the shower but only every 7 to 10 days when I'm washing my hair and everything else. Otherwise it's a couple of minutes in the shower or sink wash.

Your parents house, their rules.

If the shower time is a problem, try another time of day perhaps.

£100 is not a lot to pay for accommodation and bills. I paid my mother more than this when I left school and still lived at home and that was many decades ago now.

I think a bit more awareness of other people's needs would help. Maybe the shower issue is to do with the water bill rather than the time you take.

Her mum not working shouldn’t be a factor.
/mentioned at all. It’s none of the OP’s business whether her mum works or doesn’t.
The OP’s parents are free to run their household however they chose. The implication that the OP mother not working has had a negative impact on the OP’s life is incredibly harmful to mothers, most of whom are simply doing their best.

The OP is saving money by living at home. she can move out & shower as much as she wants but it will cost more than £400 a month.

@Magicmonday24 What do you mean, she's contributing to the bills as an adult living in a house and paying much less than she would in a house share. Stop shaming people who are financially struggling in this climate. One of the biggest causes of suicide is financial pressure and people are reading this BS thinking they're failing their ADULT kids because they need them to contribute albeit far less than they're costing them. Chalk up rent, water, energy, council tax, food, insurance, TV, WiFi and tell me £100 covers an adult per week. I lived at home as an adult for 2 years, I didn't pay a penny and I had no idea how to budget as I was spoilt. They've literally asked her to be a bit quicker in the shower, she understands the points made and it's actually in all of their interests to work together as adults to have a happy home and family.

4 children sounds lovely while they're small and probably doesn't cost as much but 4 grown adults all living under my roof with their own need for independence and their own ideas of values and principles and not at an age where I could set down any rules, would drive me mad.
No wonder people are choosing not to have children, it sounds like a thankless commitment that will never end.

That’s not what I was saying was it?

I was spoiled as a young adult. It did me no favours and meant that I struggled with things more when I got older because I was short on life skills, and affected my confidence and in turn my mental health. I learnt life lessons far later than a lot of people and that’s not a good thing.

It does the OP no harm at all to be told to cut her showers, it’s real life.
£400 a month wouldn’t get much in today’s rental market and the OP would likely herself be watching her electricity bill if it was coming out of her bank account and she didn’t have the luxury of paying a fixed amount and taking long showers.

Also parents have their own quirks about things. I’m obsessed with putting on washes at night to save money. It might drive my kids mad in future but it’s my house.

I dont think 15 minutes is a problem; we’re all 15-20 minute showerers in our house. It’s a bit of time to relax and unwind where no one can get at you and you have some quiet, plus it feels nice.

But £100 a week is nothing and your parents bills are higher now than they’ve been for like, ever. If you’re a single income household with 6 people you need to be helping to keep bills down.

So no I don’t think 15 minutes is excessive but I do think you need to be aware of the current cost of living crisis and be considerate.

I wonder if that’s why some people choose to have 4 kids. Babies & toddlers are gorgeous and hard to resist. Screaming 16 year olds not so much.
I know people who had more than two because they wanted a big family. I am curious how many people are just a bit baby crazy - Jools Oliver is someone who really seemed to struggle with not having more babies when she already had 5 kids. Id say it’s not uncommon.

This 100%

Daily showers are fine, however it may just be their way of politely saying they'd like for you to move out.

Absolutely agree.

I don't think anyone mentioned this but 15 minutes on the shower is outrageous from an environmental point of view.
Where I live we don't pay for water and i only I have a 3 minute shower. It's not just the money OP.
Best of luck living with your parents, I'm sure it's not easy xx

If you need to shower every day (I understand this as I feel the same) can you come to a compromise with your parents of what they feel is an acceptable amount of time? Would they be happy with 10 mins per day instead thus reducing it by 35 mins across the week?

I do kind of understand your frustration - I was 1 of 4 hours from a family without lots of money, and you do sometimes feel like you make sacrifices for reasons beyond your control. Unfortunately it is what it is, so maybe just try and reach a middle ground that works for both sides x

If the issue is the cost rather than bathroom availability, could you offer to pay more to cover it?

I am in shock how many people find 15 minute showers excessive. That’s personally average for me as I like to take 15-20 minutes to myself to enjoy the hot water and relax. I don’t have high water bills either.

I also would pretty annoyed to be told to reduce my time in the shower if I was living with parents and paying. I’d understand 30+ minutes but 15 minutes seems pretty unreasonable to me.

I'd just keep the peace and reduce shower times, you can't live in a family of 6 and never have a cross word but sometimes you got to just pick your battles, you have a roof over your head for now and if this in particular is causing animosity then reduce showers for now and save up for a place of your own.

Yep 15m is a long shower. Are you very large? Or do you have very long thick hair that take ages to wash? Try just going in and washing and coming out again. Should just be a couple of minutes, also you can turn the shower off while you shampoo/condition/shave, then turn it back on for rinsing.

@SahjB

lets see how you feel when you get to OP’s parents age shall we

Pay them £110 per week.

On my 18th birthday I was discharged from the system, you don't know how lucky you are.