To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

[tryinghere]

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower.
Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long.
Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this.

My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices.
As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day.
I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot.
Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

Use the shower to wash, you can get everything washed in for minutes. Use your bedroom to relax. It's inconsiderate to take that much time to shower in a house with lots of other people.

Same here, but in my day I had to leave my foster parents at 16 and I was left to get on with it. Most people don’t appreciate how fortunate they are.

It’s not £100 for 7 showers a week!

it’d all the costs of you living at home, presumably minus your food costs.

what chores do you do without being asked - and are you saving to move out?

£100 per week isn't paying her way (and no amount of stomping of feet or the use of CAPITALS will make it so😂😂😂😂😂)

If the OP were to pay rent, food, utilities, etc, it would cost considerably more than £100 per week. Provided she is not sharing a bathroom or utilty bills with others, she can then shower as long as she pleases.

I'm not shaming anybody for anything, that's your area. Both sides benefit from this deal, I'm just pointing that out to everyone who paints it as if only OP is getting any benefit.

She's not paying market rate no, but if she is covering the additional costs that her parents incur by having her present, which as £100 a week is probable, then she is by definition paying her way.

If OP's parents were to replace her with someone paying a higher, market amount, they'd have to deal with bringing an absolute stranger into live with their children. So as long as she's paying more than she costs them, they benefit from this arrangement too, it's not an act of charity.

I had a similar argument with my mum when I lived at home. The compromise we reached was that I would join a gym and use the shower there most of the time. No it’s not the same, but then when I did have long showers at home it was alright and there was no issue because I mostly showered at the gym. It’s not perfect and it was a bit annoying but it worked for us. Sometimes you just have to suck it up when you live in someone else’s house. We laugh about it now and when she stays at mine it’s a running joke when she’s about to shower I’ll say “better be in and out in 5 minutes or the hot water goes off”. Never enforced it tho despite my petty side being tempted.

10 minute shower costs about a quid. Offer to pay them £10 per week more.

Alternative is get your own place and pay your own bills. Council tax alone is likely to be £30-50 per week.

mrsdineen2 · Today 00:55

Her parents also have it good, receiving £433 a month in return for some food and hot water when they could be receiving nothing for an empty room. How would they pay for everyone else's showers then?

you are implying the OP is supporting them and covering their responsibilities as the parents rather than acknowledging that she's contributing to the household as an adult and they're asking a fraction of what she'd pay if she moved out-they probably don't want her to move out because they love her not because they couldn't cover everyone else's showers without her. Sounds like shaming to me.

@notsharingmychocie

theyre not equal in the sense that it’s not their names on the mortgage

And what is their record on fixing leaks A lot of people suddenly sticking up for the water companies in this thread all of a sudden. They usually get slagged off so its obvious you and others are doing it just to stick the boot in.

I haven't read the whole thread. But, from the posts I have read, I think people are being too harsh on the OP.
I'm generally very green, but hot water is my weakness, and I spend too long in the bath and shower. Because of this, I researched it, and apparently, according to Southern Water, a 10-minute shower costs 68p. So, actually OPs £100 does cover it. I also think £100 is a decent amount to contribute to a parental home. In some parts of the country you actually can pay around that as a lodger. Hopefully OP's parents want to help her save.
I don't know the full circumstance; but felt people were being too hard on the OP and need to balance it.
I can't bear it on Mumsnet when loads of people attack the OP for no reason. She's also presumably quite young, and many of the posters much older, and should know better.

@tryinghere I agree with you completely. The link below, shows the average amount parents ask of adult kids living at home is just over £25 a week. Only 55% charge anything. I think £100 is a very decent contribution. If I was your mum I wouldn't think anything of you taking 15-minute showers 😊

https://www.comparethemarket.com/home-insurance/content/how-much-rent-do-parents-charge/?amp

Sorry some posters have been so hard on you in this thread.

YANBU at all. Take care.

There must be a lot of rich parents if they are only asking £25 a week and so many are not asking for anything.

Personally I think that is crazy and not doing the adult kids any favours at all. They need to learn to budget and stand on their own two feet

I doubt it's that they're rich. More that they want to help their kids save for a deposit. When they'll be standing on their own two feet all the more.

I don't even take that long having a bath. If you pay £100 a week that sounds pretty reasonable though. :-)

I can spend two hours in the bath 🤭
It's naughty I know. But pretty much my only extravagance. I don't often have time for it, but it's my occasional luxury!

They could easily rent the room at a much higher rate, and without all the food and extras, and tax free.

lol and a lodger is going to want a life including possibly bringing a partner back. How is that going to be possible with young kids around

If everyone in the country spent 15-30 mins in the shower every day- imagine the water shortage!!! So whilst in Summer we are often not allowed to water our vegetables, some quite happily shower for ages and waste so so much more.

I think the parents rely on her £433 per month and are forgetting that with having op paying that amount she would be naturally using some of it in terms of extra costs when she showers and her evening meal.

If op did move out then although the hot water whether that was shown on the gas or electric the bills would be lower and the food shop would be lower but the difference wouldn’t be £433 per month. I would say even if it was £100 extra on the bills because of op using the shower and £200 on tge food shop bills

If they are cash strapped now then they are going to be completely wiped out if op moved out and overall took away that extra £133 per month

Looking at Hampshire there are house shares with bills included for less than op is paying atm

No you are not being unreasonable. 15 minutes a day in the shower is perfectly fine, I don't know why other people on this thread are saying otherwise!

Move out if you don’t like it

Just a quick search on the local student house shares, they don't feed you either. Utter rubbish that you can live for £100 per week. I am not being harsh on the op at all, I don't think the odd 15 mins shower is unreasonable but 30 mins and the way she spoke of her mother in the first posts seemed quite disrespectful. I don't agree with people making our her parents are over charging and taking advantage in this climate I feel for people trying hard to make ends meet. My teens eat more than I do and the food bills alone are more than our mortgage, I'm lucky and can afford it but I think it's naive to tell a young adult that they pay more than enough when £433 won't get them anywhere in terms of living.