Page 39 | To think for £100 a week to live at home I can have a shower every day?

tryinghere · 2024-03-23T10:58:22+00:00

I live at home, I work f/t and I'm doing an online course. I pay £100 a week contribution and I am moaned at for spending about 15 minutes a day in the shower. Admittedly one day I was in there half an hour and accepted that I was in there a long time, I was asked to be more considerate and I did, but, I have reduced it to 15 minutes a day and that's still too long. Apparently it's not necessary to be in there that long and the rest of the family make sacrifices and go without only showering every other day and using sink and flannel in between, I hate this. My parents don't have a lot of money but they do have 4 children and my mum chooses to stay at home meaning she chooses that we make sacrifices. As the oldest, I'm the only one paying my way and don't feel it's unreasonable to shower for 15 minutes a day. I get my parents choose not to so they can save money but I pay them a lot. Do I stand my ground on this one and shower away or is 15 minutes ott for £100 a week.

Ruminate2much · 27/03/2024 06:55

LilMsLurker · 27/03/2024 03:05

This isn't about 'enjoying' a shower though. OP lives in a house with 6 people in it. There is a certain level of compromise if others need to use the bathroom/limited hot water and a financial concern.

I'm definitely not an advocate of rushing everything for the sake of it but I do think that 15 mins as a daily shower isn't necessary. Preferred doesn't equal Essential.

And the wording of the question is: [because I pay £100pw] this would not cover OPs expenses if living out of family home
[can I take 15 min daily showers] if there is a reason this is needed, OP should be explaining to parents.

Realistically, the options here might be to contribute more to offset the costs if its what OP wants? It could be that, in their own place, OP would prioritise these showers over something else that is in the parents budget but it isn't their house so...

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As has been explained up thread, according to Southern Water, a 10-minute shower costs 68p. I was looking for the link now, but can't find it. I found this from Ideal Home instead, which says that it costs around 62p per electric shower, and 34p for a gas shower.

So OP is paying more than enough.

www.idealhome.co.uk/house-manual/money-matters/how-much-does-it-cost-to-run-a-shower

Ruminate2much · 27/03/2024 07:05

I actually think people often overestimate the cost of a shower or bath. I was staying as a house guest for a couple of nights with an elderly neighbour, when builders were working on my place, and I had to stay away.
I wanted to contribute, and bought some groceries etc. I offered to give her some cash, but she said no, as only two nights, but could I not have a shower both days because of the cost! I explained that showers cost pennies, but she wouldn't believe me. It's so important to me to shower or bath daily (couldn't not) that I popped home and climbed over the builders rubble to have a shower!

I don't know where the myth began. Honestly showers and baths are one of life's inexpensive joys in my view. When I felt I couldn't afford to go out much, I'd stay in and have a bath instead 😊

Keeping heating on night and day is expensive, but a ten/fifteen-minute shower really isn't.

NoraBattysCurlers · 27/03/2024 07:39

Ruminate2much · Today 07:05
As has been explained up thread, according to Southern Water, a 10-minute shower costs 68p. I was looking for the link now, but can't find it. I found this from Ideal Home instead, which says that it costs around 62p per electric shower, and 34p for a gas shower.

So OP is paying more than enough.

Er, no. The OP is certainly not paying more than enough.

The £100 per week the OP is paying covers not only showers but her room, food and all utilities. If she moved out, she would paying considerably more than £100 for rent, food, utilities, etc. elsewhere.

The OP is likely to be costing £10 per week in showers alone. As you outlined above, 10-minute shower shower costs around 62p and the OP is having 15-minute showers (cost £1) and 30-minute showers (cost £1.50).

£10 per week is a lot to anyone on low income.

Dramatic · 27/03/2024 07:57

LilMsLurker · 27/03/2024 01:26

Look, the occasional 15 min shower, when you're doing it all for a special occasion or you went hiking through a swamp, isn't unreasonable.

But daily? What are you doing?

Your hair shouldn't need washing that much (if you cut down to alternate days it might even start looking better). You can wash the important bits with sink and flannel, or in a few mins in shower.

Unless your job is very active/messy (coal mine?) or at risk of contagion (hospital worker?)

Invest in some dry shampoo and possibly a better deodorant if you're feeling less than fresh.

As others have said, a gym membership to use the showers there might be good.

Or if you want to spend ages in the shower without affecting anyone else, book yourself a night in a Premier Inn or something (£40 if you plan ahead) and do whatever you like.

This totally depends on hair type, I have straight hair which gets very greasy, I tried to train it during lockdown but it didn't work, by the end of the second day I look like I've spread butter on my hair.

I shampoo it twice and condition the ends, I can't see how I could get a shower to less than about 8-10 minutes so I really don't think 15 is excessive

Dramatic · 27/03/2024 07:59

NoraBattysCurlers · 27/03/2024 07:39

Ruminate2much · Today 07:05
As has been explained up thread, according to Southern Water, a 10-minute shower costs 68p. I was looking for the link now, but can't find it. I found this from Ideal Home instead, which says that it costs around 62p per electric shower, and 34p for a gas shower.

So OP is paying more than enough.

Er, no. The OP is certainly not paying more than enough.

The £100 per week the OP is paying covers not only showers but her room, food and all utilities. If she moved out, she would paying considerably more than £100 for rent, food, utilities, etc. elsewhere.

The OP is likely to be costing £10 per week in showers alone. As you outlined above, 10-minute shower shower costs around 62p and the OP is having 15-minute showers (cost £1) and 30-minute showers (cost £1.50).

£10 per week is a lot to anyone on low income.

I think charging your child £100 per week is a lot, yes if she was renting privately then it would be cheap but this is her parents. I certainly wouldn't charge my children that much.

NerrSnerr · 27/03/2024 08:02

@Dramatic if you didn't have a lot of money and you had four children at home £100 a week isn't a lot of money.

Not everyone is financially comfortable and the OP has said her parents are not.

Ruminate2much · 27/03/2024 08:02

NoraBattysCurlers · 27/03/2024 07:39

Ruminate2much · Today 07:05
As has been explained up thread, according to Southern Water, a 10-minute shower costs 68p. I was looking for the link now, but can't find it. I found this from Ideal Home instead, which says that it costs around 62p per electric shower, and 34p for a gas shower.

So OP is paying more than enough.

Er, no. The OP is certainly not paying more than enough.

The £100 per week the OP is paying covers not only showers but her room, food and all utilities. If she moved out, she would paying considerably more than £100 for rent, food, utilities, etc. elsewhere.

The OP is likely to be costing £10 per week in showers alone. As you outlined above, 10-minute shower shower costs around 62p and the OP is having 15-minute showers (cost £1) and 30-minute showers (cost £1.50).

£10 per week is a lot to anyone on low income.

Well, if it's a gas shower, it'd be about half that. But that's not the point.
I agree £10 is a lot when you're poor (been there)
But, I'm guessing that OPs mum estimates the showers cost a lot more. Also, anyway, that leaves £90 for all the other stuff, and it's still much more than the average adults living at home contribute (see above)
The £90 will definitely cover all the costs (one sixth of council tax, grocery bill etc)
I don't understand why people keep saying it'd be more to rent privately. Of course! But you're not comparing like with like. It's meant to be cheaper to live at home!
It's family. Britain is so not into families. Most Italian mamas would be aghast at the cold responses on this thread.

Dramatic · 27/03/2024 08:02

NerrSnerr · 27/03/2024 08:02

@Dramatic if you didn't have a lot of money and you had four children at home £100 a week isn't a lot of money.

Not everyone is financially comfortable and the OP has said her parents are not.

Right, but her mother chooses not to work?

crumblingschools · 27/03/2024 08:05

@Dramatic we don’t know how old the other DC are, only that they are much younger than the OP

NerrSnerr · 27/03/2024 08:14

@Dramatic as if the mother should start working so she can subsidise her adult daughter. That's utterly bonkers.

If the OP wants longer showers she should pay the fair share of the bills and not just a contribution. The people who pay the lions share of the bills have said the showers are too long and it's their house so they get to dictate that. The OP would have more of a say if she paid her full share.

If she wants to continue to live heavily subsidised then she should go by their rules.

nonumbersinthisname · 27/03/2024 08:16

Dramatic · 27/03/2024 08:02

Right, but her mother chooses not to work?

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Away with your goady anti-SAHP post. The mother may not have paid employment but OP is getting all her cooking, laundry and cleaning done for her. Along with presumably the rest of the family. Maybe some of that £100 keep money is in lieu of OP making a bit of an effort to pitch in around the house. Wonder if she’s ever emptied the kitchen bin, or cleaned the shower?

NerrSnerr · 27/03/2024 08:16

@Ruminate2much the OP has said her sisters are a lot younger so unlikely that they're all eligible for council tax so the OP would be liable for more than a sixth.

Sharptonguedwoman · 27/03/2024 08:22

AndromacheAstyanax · 26/03/2024 08:14

I don’t think there’s a connection between what you pay to live at home and how long you spend in the shower. There will be others wanting to shower too, probably at similar times to you. I take about 3 mins, or 4 if I wash my hair.

Well truly, I don't know how. My shower is a bit primitive, it runs off the hot water system with no electric pump - can't have one, rented house and is over the bath. So it takes a could couple of minutes for the hot water to run through, maybe more, Have a thorough wash, 2-3 minutes. Wash hair, more like 10 as I have chin length quite thick hair that needs a really good conditioner, left on for at least three minutes. So 8 minutes on a non hairwash day, maybe 10-15 on a hairwash day.

EmilyPlay · 27/03/2024 08:37

NerrSnerr · 27/03/2024 08:16

@Ruminate2much the OP has said her sisters are a lot younger so unlikely that they're all eligible for council tax so the OP would be liable for more than a sixth.

The OPs parents would have to pay council tax whether the OP lived there or not. Your council tax is not based on how many people live in a house.

NerrSnerr · 27/03/2024 08:49

@EmilyPlay I would be liable to pay for the whole council tax in my house if my husband didn't live with me, but he does so we split it.

Like in a house share, surely all eligible adults should pay their share? Why should the OP's parents cover it if the OP is working?

Menomeno · 27/03/2024 08:50

EmilyPlay · 27/03/2024 08:37

The OPs parents would have to pay council tax whether the OP lived there or not. Your council tax is not based on how many people live in a house.

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If you moved into a houseshare, and told your housemates “Well you’d all have to pay council tax if I was here or not, so I’m not paying my own contribution” you’d be laughed out the door. She is there, so she should pay.

EmilyPlay · 27/03/2024 08:55

She's not living in a house share though. She's living in her family home.

NerrSnerr · 27/03/2024 09:01

@EmilyPlay but at what age should she start paying her way equally? What if she is still living at home at age 50 and her parents are retired? Should they still subsidise her then?

You can live in the family home with your parents AND be a responsible adult and pay your fair share, they're not exclusive.

Dramatic · 27/03/2024 09:04

NerrSnerr · 27/03/2024 08:14

@Dramatic as if the mother should start working so she can subsidise her adult daughter. That's utterly bonkers.

If the OP wants longer showers she should pay the fair share of the bills and not just a contribution. The people who pay the lions share of the bills have said the showers are too long and it's their house so they get to dictate that. The OP would have more of a say if she paid her full share.

If she wants to continue to live heavily subsidised then she should go by their rules.

But it's not really heavily subsidised is it? If you work out 1/6 of the household bills and food I bet OP is paying about the right amount. We have a big mortgage and are family of 7 so bills are probably similar and it comes to £275 a month if I divide it by 6 (excluding food)

Ruminate2much · 27/03/2024 09:06

@NerrSnerr her parents are not subsidising her! Your maths is all wrong. They're actually probably slightly profiting from her. She's only 23, studying and very much contributing. I think £100 is a lot to pay when living in the family home.

Dramatic · 27/03/2024 09:06

nonumbersinthisname · 27/03/2024 08:16

Away with your goady anti-SAHP post. The mother may not have paid employment but OP is getting all her cooking, laundry and cleaning done for her. Along with presumably the rest of the family. Maybe some of that £100 keep money is in lieu of OP making a bit of an effort to pitch in around the house. Wonder if she’s ever emptied the kitchen bin, or cleaned the shower?

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I am a sahp so absolutely not anti sahp. But I wouldn't expect my adult children to pay that much.

Ruminate2much · 27/03/2024 09:07

NerrSnerr · 27/03/2024 09:01

@EmilyPlay but at what age should she start paying her way equally? What if she is still living at home at age 50 and her parents are retired? Should they still subsidise her then?

You can live in the family home with your parents AND be a responsible adult and pay your fair share, they're not exclusive.

She's more than paying her fair share 🙄

Dollenganger333 · 27/03/2024 09:08

You should be able to shower in 5 minutes. Heating up water costs a lot in electricity.

If you were living in your own place, you'd have to pay council tax and all sorts. So you should really be grateful.

Dollenganger333 · 27/03/2024 09:10

Ruminate2much · 27/03/2024 09:06

@NerrSnerr her parents are not subsidising her! Your maths is all wrong. They're actually probably slightly profiting from her. She's only 23, studying and very much contributing. I think £100 is a lot to pay when living in the family home.

Not since the cost of living crisis

saltens · 27/03/2024 09:11

The problem isn't with the op or with her parents, the problem is young people have it so difficult that moving out and getting on the property ladder is not at all easy and we're going to see more and more of this generation unable to leave the family home or saving well into to young adulthood and as much as most parents will be accommodating, it's not healthy for a young adult to be stifled in their parents home when independence is so out of reach.
It's incredibly frustrating for them.
It's ok saying move out and rent a room but that's not much of a home for someone in their 20s and beyond but sadly even that seems out of reach for some on low wages.