If your DH is a white collar worker, do you ever fantasise about blue collar workers?

[BlondiesHaveMoreFun]

My first DH was a white collar worker. High up in finance. Never had a fight in his life. Short and skinny. Unable to really be a guys guy or have any banter with other men. If we had ever been stuck in a dangerous situation, we would have no doubt died 😂 I never felt physically safe with him. When I was with him, I definitely found myself fancying more manly men, like builders, mechanics, police officers, boxers etc, you get the drift, and I was wondering whether I’m unusual in that?

Ok, Pol Pot.

The thing is, attractiveness is a package. This thread is lighthearted (in my view) and on a very basic, stereotypical level, I go for “manly men”.

There’s no definition of manly men, they don’t have to tick certain boxes, and I’m sure there’s thousands of white collar workers who actually could reasonably tick the “manly man” box for me. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll settle for a “bad boy” dickhead that wants to go out scrapping and drinking beer every weekend.

I’m actually with an experienced tradesperson, whose knowledge and skill are extremely impressive. He’s had a wide range of jobs, mostly manly, but not all. He’s also a massive, loving softy, happy to do house chores, and when he had a baby with his ex, he was a stay at home dad for the first year!

Toxic masculinity doesn’t exist simply because some men are big and strong and others aren’t. It’s a mindset, not a physical trait, and you don’t have to accept both of those things together. You can have one without the other.

Never

Yes, you are probably right - I meant strictly in the context of sexual attraction, and I am attracted to men.

So on an intellectual level I know what I'm about to say is awful and reinforces gender stereotypes but....

I am only attracted to men that I can guarantee will 'look after' me....but that can look very different. I would be attracted to someone who worked in a white collar job if they were very senior and a key decision maker.

I would also be attracted to someone in a blue collar job if they made a lot of money and were able to hold their own.

What they would both need to have is an ability to read and navigate potentially risky situations / people.

I would never be with someone who couldn't protect me.

The cognitive dissonance between recognising this is what I'm attracted to and my feminist beliefs is painful 🙈🤣

My dh is 6'4" and an engineer - his hands are always dirty and he's so good at anything practical. He's also gorgeous looking and has the biggest arms I've ever seen - (but not weight lifter cartoon ones!)

I love how strong he is and how he could look after me if he needed to. I'm 5'3" and I love it when he holds, my head rests on his chest.

So I couldn't fancy an office worker type who was skinny and needed to hire tradesmen to do DIY!

Try having that attitude while also being a lesbian 🤣
I don't think it is sexist. We're still animals. We want the best situation for ourselves and the best genetics for our children. We want to be protected by our spouse, it is natural. I think the world would be a worse place if this attitude completely died out.