If your DH is a white collar worker, do you ever fantasise about blue collar workers?

[BlondiesHaveMoreFun]

My first DH was a white collar worker. High up in finance. Never had a fight in his life. Short and skinny. Unable to really be a guys guy or have any banter with other men. If we had ever been stuck in a dangerous situation, we would have no doubt died 😂 I never felt physically safe with him. When I was with him, I definitely found myself fancying more manly men, like builders, mechanics, police officers, boxers etc, you get the drift, and I was wondering whether I’m unusual in that?

Average trade salary is already £10k above average graduate salary. Plenty about it on Google.

I agree. It's the soft hands. 😂

Ohhhh those never-used hands can actually knock me sick! With the skinny fingers and nails that are too long! 🤢😂

Honestly this thread is weird 😂. My banker husband cuts his nails, and at 6ft3 and a rugby player his fingers are far from skinny. People have such weird views of other people 🤣.
I said upthread but my skinniest, weediest ex was a joiner.

DH had a blue collar job before he got a white collar job. Get yourself one that does both. He's also quite good at DIY. I fancy him across the board.

I don't really have a type but I was also really into my most serious ex who was a physicist but was similarly handy so I suppose Smart but Practical Jack of All Trades is my thing! Other men I've dated who weren't like this just don't compare for me.

On reading this thread, I keep visualising one of those male strippers with white collar and dickie bow and not much else 😀.

No one said that applies to all, just can be a trait of those who do nothing physical/manual and something some of us find unattractive. My ex was white collar, and though he was slim build he worked out and did physical/manual things like mountain biking, working on cars, DIY. So didn’t have soft skinny hands and fingers. You don’t need to take the comments personally lol.

I guess my ex was a little like that, but now I’m with a real tradie I start to realise that the Jacks of All Trades actually don’t usually know what they’re doing 🤣 (turn off for sure lol)

i pay a payroll of 1200 blue collar workers.... i can see why some people are attracted 😂

I've only ever dated blue collar, i like the look, clearly... DP is a mechanic and ex was a mechanic too.

My DP is, imo, the best of both worlds – he has a job that requires a shirt and tie (hot) and is very intelligent (loves art and music and literature etc and put himself through night school to get his A Levels and then through university while working full time) but thanks to his height (6'3"), general build (ex-gym fanatic with a layer of dad bod) and a somewhat... challenging upbringing, shall we say, he is clearly a man who could handle himself. Unbelievably sexy.

Bit uncomfy with such a stark division between two cliches of man, but I know what you’re getting at.

Reminds me of that Dory Previn song “Angels and Devils”

Also reminds me that on a Bear Grylls survival show, all the egotistical biggest strongest men were gathered round the firewood trying and failing to light the wood while the skinny computer guy who’d been ignored was using his glasses and sunlight to start a fire by himself 😂

Anyway. To answer your question. I find intelligence sexy. I also find strong muscles sexy. I couldn’t sleep with a guy who didn’t have both.

I don’t find any occupations particularly sexy, no. Banking? Ugh. Law? Ugh. Plumbing? Ugh. Farming? Ugh. Work is not sexy to me.

I was married to a blue collar worker for 30 years, and then a white collar worker for 23 years.

I can’t say it made much difference lol 😉

Such strange stereotypes on this thread. You can tell many MNers don't get out much and don't meet many people, because these cliched views of rugged muscled blue collar workers vs urbane wimpy white collar workers don't sync up with reality.

Also, have whatever fantasies you want, but anyone who goes around talking about "manly men" and "pure masculinity" linking that to physical strength and how a man might handle himself in a fight... does not get to moan about toxic masculinity or complain when their "manly man" husband doesn't do the chores.

'Urban, 'wimpy' white-collar workers,' are no more likely to do the chores/help with childcare etc, than the 'rugged, blue-collar workers;

Quite, but that wasn't my point at all. More that if you fetishise "manly men" (which may well include a massive-salaried rugby-playing banker, I don't know) and sneer at men who don't live up to that masculine ideal, well, don't complain if traditional masculinity is exactly what you get.

I think we are all allowed to like what we like.

There's a thread going at the moment about male actors. Some pretty masculine men on there.

Fair enough @gannett

Again, quite, and again, not my point. It's the framing of that as "ooh real men" that contributes to toxic masculinity. I like a buff body as much as the posters on that thread but I don't think Chris Hemsworth, say, is more of a man than a short bloke who works in IT and doesn't go to the gym.

I am attracted to traditional masculine men, It is not so much the looks, rather the behaviour. Willingness and ability to be in charge, problem solving, being the shoulder to lean on, being a non-reluctant provider - and also some shallow stuff, like ability to do basic DIY. I don't even fantasise about them being 6ft or having any muscles, that's a bit above my league lol.

Those are all good qualities to be attracted to but they're not inherently masculine!

My DH is now a white collar worker in a well paid job. He wasn't like this when we met though. He was rough and ready and very streetwise. Since we've been married he went to uni and got to where he is now as he's also very smart.
I love it because he's respectable and we have a nice life, but I also know he wouldn't think twice about throwing hands to protect me or the kids. Best of both worlds lol 😂

DH grew up in a rough town and was known for being handy in a fight, probably helped that he did mixed martial arts and played rugby. He doesn't get male grooming and is very much your basic shit, shower, shave type of bloke who likes a pint and a curry. I'm very happy to report that he is also darkly swarthy with a few tats and permanent stubble. Having said that, he went to university, speaks Italian and works in the IT industry, so not blue collar.

I love that he's so straightforward and uncomplicated, and he has no patience for playing mind games or fripperies. On our wedding day he told me that our marriage was going to be like the Mafia, the only way out would be for one of us to die. And the few times I've worn sexy lingerie he's just smiled and said it was pointless because he was just going to take it all off anyway. An accident left me with scars on my throat and breast, and he kisses my scars the same way he kisses my mouth.

Are you implying you would ordinarily expect to be attracted to someone because of their pay check op?

This is a weird thread. Are you a journalist?

Fairly sure Dh could shout someone to death for me. He’s completely not a physical person but he’s got a big frame (not fat, his bones are just big) so he stands around looking, well big so maybe thats why I don’t particularly fantasise about burly blue collar men. Also Dh doesn’t have soft hands, he isn’t polished, he’s a shower, shit, shave bloke too, but he’s clever and completely lacking in vanity which I very much appreciate in a man.

Really don't get the obsession with whether a man can win a fight or not, that definitely seems quite toxic. DP is 6'4" and nicely muscled but one of the gentlest, most non-confrontational men I've ever known. He wouldn't know how to handle himself in a fight at all, and this is actually something I love about him, not something that detracts from his "masculinity". I really do not want or need a man to be a "protector" or to feel that's his role in the relationship.