To be annoyed DH has planned a boys trip the weekend of DD’s birthday!

[LimeLemur]

DH has organised for 3 of his mates to come and stay with us for a boys weekend. We definitely discussed this happening and he is now telling me I okayed the dates with him, but I have no recollection of that. Also, I wouldn’t have okayed 3 men coming to stay at ours for a boys weekend on our daughters birthday weekend. I’m wracking my brains as to how this mix up could have happened and can only think that he may have said “my mates are coming on the 24th” and I’ve okayed it not realising they are staying until the 27th (the Monday - DD’s birthday). I’m annoyed at DH and he thinks I’m being completely unreasonable. But I’m upset because why on earth would he arrange to have them her until that date! TBH, I think having a boys weekend that weekend is totally thoughtless to DD who will be turning 8, and even worse that they’ll all be staying at our place.

DH is now annoyed at me saying that he checked this with me in advance, but like I said, I have no memory of this. We live overseas and his mates have all booked their flights so it can’t be cancelled or changed and I’m gutted!! AIBU???

But, it isn't his daughters birthday!?

His daughters birthday is the Monday, and no plans have been made over the weekend so I fail to see what he’s done wrong here.

They are leaving Sunday, it's your DDs birthday Monday so they'll be gone. Just do something the following weekend, I can't see why it's such a huge deal.

I’m afraid I’m another one who can’t see the issue, OP.

But if it really bothers you, book a trip with your DD somewhere lovely she’ll enjoy for that weekend, a mum and daughter weekend away. Win-win, you won’t be roped into hosting.

our daughters birthday weekend...

...the Monday - DD’s birthday

YABU

Another one who doesn't see the issue. They are leaving Sunday and the birthday is Monday.

However, I do think that there is a serious problem with a grown adult and father of an eight year old, having a two day handover. That is not normal or healthy. Absolutely enjoy seeing friends and celebrate, but no need to get ill for multiple days.

I really can't see the issue and think some people go out of their way to find problems when there are none.

No plans were made for the weekend so if there is a party it can be the following weekend as her birthday is during the week.

Making people cancel flights is ridiculous, as is decorating the house pink for a birthday that isn't until the following week.

As other have said take the opportunity to do some special things with DD out of the house and then celebrate as a family on her actual birthday.

From what you’ve said, I see this as the only issue. and I don’t think it’s something he can blame on you “okaying” the dates. This is totally about him being a good parent and realising he can do things like party with his mates before her birthday but it’s up to him to do that in a way that won’t impact her day. So just tell him - “Well you don’t have to rearrange, but if you’re hungover on your DD’s birthday and can’t treat her the way she deserves because you couldn’t be arsed to consider her either when making arrangements (thinking about dates) or when you decide to drink enough to give you a two day hangover, don’t expect me to cover for you.”

All this. I dint get the big deal unless you just don't want people coming at all. I would have a nice day out at the weekend they are there with your daughter, dinner with dad and you in her birthday as she will be at school and then party weekend after

I do too. What a prince.

I can't see the problem. They are coming for the weekend but your daughters birthday is on Monday?

Yes, you can be petty. 😂
Screw the daddy's attitude.

He's gaslighting you
if the lads turn up I'd do all I could to make sure things dont go well for them.

Hang on, so you don't even have any birthday plans for your DD and they're leaving the day before?

What's the problem, exactly?

Boys weekend. FFS.
A Married Man with a daughter?
Time he fucking grew up.
A boys weekend 😂😂.

I’m sorry I am not really getting it - give her a birthday week and have her party the following weekend.
I would understand if it was her actual birthday but they would have left by her actual birthday.
but it could be that we have twins so tend to do a party the weekend before for one and the weekend after for the other.

Another one who doesn't see the massive issue. The guys will be gone by the time of her birthday. You haven't made any plans yet, so could easily be doen the following weekend. Quite often midweek birthday is celebrated the weekend after cause then she's had her birthday already. If this is about his hangover then that's a totally separate issue.

What's wrong with having a boys weekend? Is he not allowed to have friends now he's married or something?

Does he not know the date of his dc's birthday? Why is it on you to check his date for him?

Of course he needs to change it!

Why? I went out two nights in a row the weekend before my daughter’s birthday, and we celebrated on the Monday and then with her friends at the next weekend. It’s a birthday, and I also am allowed a life. I don’t see the big deal to be honest.

But it's not his DD's birthday.

His friends are coming Friday-Sunday. Her birthday is Monday.

ah yes because only single people should have friends???

I feel your pain and posted something similar a few weeks ago. I mentioned our son's birthday party and partner said that we can't have his party that weekend as he'd booked tickets to go out that night (but apparently we can't have the party for the whole of that weekend). When I questioned him and asked why he didn't tell me he'd booked a night out, he started shouting at me that I'm a selfish bitch and ruining his night out. He then said we ARE having his party the week after instead, or I'm leaving you.
I don't know what's wrong with some people!

That sounds a very healthy and mature approach 🙄

Imagine wanting to enjoy yourself with your friends once you're married and have children, what a monster. Are women not allowed to have weekends with their female friends either?