Can school do this? - managed move

[Bonnyswannie]

My dd is struggling at her very strict academy school. Whilst it works for some it does not for my dd and she has gone from well behaved to being pulled up for things like uniform and forgotten items to now what they call disrespectful behaviour
my dd worries about school a lot at home and we applied to a new school that is less strict about u forms and bags and I felt may be a better match.
my dd has a lot of negative behaviours points and a 1 day suspension since year 8 - nothing before that.
the new school has accepted and it’s all going through yet today my dd’s current school said they would speak to new school as due to her negative behaviours she would need a managed move. I called them this morning for help as dd was up worrying last night and not wanting to come and now we are being told this.
i asked for this in writing and they have said the new school could request due to the amount of negative behaviours. Can they do this?
my dd is undergoing assessment for ADHD she’s not aggressive or nasty or anything she does forget stuff and she can back chat . Some lessons she excels in and there are 3 subjects she is rarely in as Sw gets sent out for back chat about things that are missing. Not ideal but dd says they talk to her like crap and it makes her feel shit

Thank you
I asked for it all in writing yesterday, I alerted new school who said no way does it meet threshold for managed move
she’s off to new school next week

This is so refreshing to hear. My son has ADHD and so I see it in practice. So many people have this uneducated view that ADHD is an excuse for naughty behaviour - well if that’s the case why does my son behave differently on medication!!

My son is a sweet, sensitive boy who wants to learn and wants to do his best. The ADHD means he struggles to control his impulsivity and this is where the majority of his issues lie.

Luckily he is at a secondary who get this and who make reasonable adjustments and who understand that punitive measures don’t solve anything, they only make things worse and they end up writing these kids off. What a short-sighted and stupid approach to education.

I really hope your daughter gets to her new school, without the managed move, and is given the support and encourage to thrive.

I think you should post this in the SEND topic as well. There are some really helpful comments here but there might be some in the SN Chat section too.

It’s a shame that instead of your DD’s current school realising and supporting her needs, they’re just saying she needs a managed move away - they’re shifting the (in their eyes) ‘problem’ elsewhere instead of giving you the help you need.

Such a helpful post.A lot of the people tearing into OP could learn from this. It's a shame that MN has become so petty and nasty, it's like it's impossible for some members to scroll by instead of choosing to have a dig at a mum needing help.

If people think OP is minimising and want to fully understand the behaviour of her DD on order to give more appropriate advice they could just ask OP to provide specifics about the negative behaviour points/detentions and the suspension to understand what her DD struggles with and why the school is using this to suggest a managed move. Asking questions doesn't have to be snide and full of digs which leads me to believe a lot of the posters don't really want to know details or help OP they just want to have a go at her and her dd.

Fucking worrying that so many school staff have such poor reading and comprehension skills.

THERE'S NO MANAGED MOVE!!!

The school are trying to make it one , AFTER OP already arranged an in year transfer like she is allowed to do and like thousands of parents do every year.

Your an idiot

Thank you!

My adhd son walked through the snow in lapland from the reception to the bus to the airport with no shoes on. We only realised when we noticed he had bare feet on the bus and his shoes were in his luggage. It was minus 20

Sofiabella
I kind of believe it given that a lot of us have spoken at the primary school gates just how many people have been suspended since both of my kids have been there. Yes it’s probably more of a he refused to do any homework (as in I’m not doing it or something like that )as opposed to sorry sir I don’t have it but ultimately it’s not like in our day when suspension was because you hurt someone or badly damaged school property

My dd had a meltdown at home yes. Because she feels scared.
mum actually in shock at this response mocking a child who is worried and anxious

OP, we're going through similar with my son. We're in West London btw, and your story is uncannily familiar although I am sure these types of school exist everywhere. Sending you love - it's SO tough. Really hope your daughter settles well in her new school.

Oh fuck off with your ableist bullshit. You clearly don't have a clue.

If there is no managed move why did the school suggest it? Moving a child on in this way is not in the school's interest. If the receiving school think it isn't working they can be sent back. The school is so then vulnerable to being added to take a student in return. It all sounds very strange. It doesn't really add up probably because you are only telling half the story.

Managed lives are not just for behavioural issues.

The problem is people misunderstanding when they are used and using their misunderstanding to tell someone they are wrong.

The school does not need to use a managed move here. They want to keep their funding by suggesting it. Their DD will still be in role then when the financial year starts.

Anyone can chose to move their child to a school with space in it anytime for any reason.

Managed lives are used under fair access protocol for a variety of reasons when a child can't just move school because there aren't spaces and they can't remain in current school or are at risk of PEX.

If I was telling half a story I’d know myself why they were trying to suggest this and wouldn’t be posting on here!

Not commenting but tips my adhd dc use

Pack bag night before. There's a classtimetable on kitchen wall and a packing list we made for each day. They tick each item off as they put into bag (wipeable board next to it). Bag goes next to front door with coat and school shoes.

Then they have a tick list for uniform. It's laid out night before to make sure they have everything. We have full set of uniforms for each day except blazer and tie so they are on hangers in wardrobe that we prepare on a Sunday. Same with pe kit and shoes, hung over a hanger in wardrobe.

Homework is written on a big calendar in the kitchen

School books are colour coded with draws in kitchen for each subject. So everyday after school they empty their bag and place everything in the drawers.

Before they walk out of the house there's a list on back of front door to make sure they have everything as they have to check it before leaving.

We also role play scenarios that happen in school to work through how they could have handled it. They take a small notepad for doodles so they don't cover their school work

To not have yet another child leave the school on the records?

To keep funding until April when the new financial year starts?

To be dicks?

To make it official how difficult and badly behaved OP's DD is.. in which case they're shitting all over the correct procedures, best practice and guidance from the government.

To keep funding until April when the new financial year starts?

and here, I think we’ve cracked it. That’s why they’re trying it. They are losing too many students and want to engineer a way to keep her funding.

I have not blamed the school for us moving to another I have thanked them for their support and said it just might not be a good fit right now. But I do really feel this was an attempt by a particular member of staff to do that, to make her feel like crap. She has been told she won’t amount to anything and they give up on her this week hence her meltdown a previous poster decided to mock. To her that is really a bad thing, and it hurt her and made her feel anxious about being at school. When the school said this she broke diwn because she doesn’t want to be badly thought of at any school, she wants this fresh start,
I wish those mocking my DD’s feelings and referring to her behaviours as ‘her crap’ could see it for one day from her point. To know the child she was before all of this and how it’s impacted her
iv been made to feel mental for taking her feelings into consideration and for trying to understand the root cause of her sudden change . I have worked openly and honestly with the school and backed them up but to be honest I do feel let down at some of the things that they have put on her

Same here, everyone did back in the 60's and 70's. Wonder of it was the same Grammar school

Kids do not get suspended for not doing homework. Full stop. Anywhere.

To be suspended they have to have been involved in incidents of alcohol/drug abuse in school, physical assault, verbal abuse, persistent disruption, abuse against protected, and serious bullying.

Op, you DD isn’t diagnosed with any condition yet. They are displaying some signs of potential conditions, but also that she is making some very poor choices. The sanctions will be for poor choices rather than just forgetting her pens etc.

I’m not sure why a school would want to make it a managed move because, if your DD is as disruptive as you’ve explained, they’d probably be glad she was no longer their so the other students weren’t disturbed in their lessons.

School rules are there for a reason and parents need to support the schools in enforcing these, regardless of whether they agree with them or not. To undermine the school and its sanctions, especially in front of their children, prevents the school from operating in the best possible way for all the students that attend.

The average secondary school has 1000 students - what would happen if there were no rules? Additionally, the rules are there to provide learning as to what will happen when the children leave education, and the comfort of home, and enter the real world.

I wish your DD all the best at her new school, but please do not believe that all will be fixed ‘if’ your DD is diagnosed with ADHD. Poor decision making is still poor decision making and will results in the same outcomes.

You’ll need to support her with this as a parent, along with supporting the new school with all of their rules (parent-school agreement which you agree to when your DD starts at the school).

I hope the move goes well OP. These super strict schools are not at all good for ND/anxious children. I wanted to move my eldest but she wanted to stick it out due to friends. Sent DC2 to a secondary school that doesn't have detentions.