To not go to the hen do?

[tiredandtesting123]

One of my friends hen do's is soon. Since it was planned my financial circumstances have changed in that I've had a baby and given up work.
It's getting more and more expensive with what she's added to it, and the girl I'm going with is wants more petrol money than is necessary.. so I said I'd make my own way (as DH/my dad won't charge me petrol money) I was told in the group chat no I'll be going in the car with them that way I can't be late etc, and even if I get picked up on the way back she still wants the same amount of petrol money. I've been told by the hen in the group WhatsApp "you've known about this for 9 months so you could've saved, please moan to the others and not me" followed by lots of "amen" and emojis from the others. My response was so you're asking me to bitch behind your back then. I can't save money I don't have.

Part of me feels like saying I won't be attending either the hen do or wedding, leaving the group chat and saying don't talk to me talk about me to each other!

AIBU?

Block them on all social media and WhatsApp and forget them all. They make you feel bad. Who wants friends who don’t make u feel good about yourself?
Pay the petrol money if you think you owe it. Otherwise ignore it. They’re not going to take you to court over it!

I agree with this, apart from paying the money!

The whole reason you're not going is because they are being cheeky about the money!

I'm totally with you on that one, my hen party was one evening in my local.

Is she actually insane? Understandable to perhaps expect some costs to be covered if none refundable but not their petrol! It's the most ridiculous thing Ive ever heard!

Guess we can see how they afford expensive dinner party food 🙄🙄🙄

1000% this!!!

What a heartless bitch asking you to send money. Does she really expect you to prioritise a shitty event you’re not going to, over your own bills? You don’t owe her anything, she has no legal basis to challenge this and no moral ground to stand on

to be honest OP, the way she’s acting with you is strange. She clearly doesn’t like you - I wonder if the rest of the group have been gossiping about you?

Seconded!

Have you seen Muriel's Wedding OP?

They sound like Tanya "I'm a BRIIIDE!" & co and you're their Muriel. Flick them off now, you won't regret it in the long run. They sound hideous.

When did women get so bitchy. They sound absolutely horrible. I wouldnt go find some new nicer friends. V teenaged

This!!!!!

Don't go. I was part of a group 'night out a while back' one of our team said he'd have to back out as he was struggling financially, ( new baby etc). We as a team agreed to cover his cost between us. We valued his presence more than his cash contribution. That's what friends do.

I wouldn't go tbh, I would explain your circumstances have changed and then plan something for YOU, and relax, enjoy your baby and your new life, get some decent friends, tbh I'd rather be on my own than with people like that. X

Omg, leave the group, something similar happened to me! Your finances are none of their business and neither are your savings! Your child and family come first!!

I wouldn't go. They sound like bullys

Defo Don’t go. These events are way over the top anyway. I was asked did I want yo go to a hen do as it was sort of family, I said yes. Cost me a fortune. Long weekend in Benidorm, horrible place, plus spending money. I also ended up paying for several of us to get to airport for flight home as bus did not turn up. Never ever again. Who does she think she is demanding money for petrol. She does realise that her insurance won't cover her if there is a problem. Sound like a nasty crowd. You and your baby are more important.

They sound like a bunch of bitches, fire them all off and don't attend anything.

Just say ''savings dry up by unforseen financial dilemmas"
And being unemployed hasn't helped so....!
I am very sorry but I won't be in attendance.
Unless you want to go.
be honest and say ''I won't be paying petrol money for a journey i wont be making in your car it's nonsensical.

It's like paying for a flight you have no intention of stepping foot on,
It already sounds b*tchy from what you have written, save yourself the trouble of putting up with cackling witches and don't go , they don't sound like friends to me , it also sounds like the driver is on the make so she can afford a night out by overcharging , I know people like this.

God OP. Ignore them. Driver has no shame asking for money for petrol for a journey you're not even going on. She is clearly charging hand over fist because she can put the money towards the hen. She's very nasty.

Exactly! Bridezillas these days expect their entourage to fork out hundreds if not thousands to indulge them with hen parties overseas, or at expensive spa hotels for long weekends. They THEN expect an expensive wedding present on top of probably having to pay to stay at the hotel for the night if it's in the arse end of nowhere. It's all gone crazy.

hope you’re well shot of them now @tiredandtesting123 x