To not go to the hen do?

[tiredandtesting123]

One of my friends hen do's is soon. Since it was planned my financial circumstances have changed in that I've had a baby and given up work.
It's getting more and more expensive with what she's added to it, and the girl I'm going with is wants more petrol money than is necessary.. so I said I'd make my own way (as DH/my dad won't charge me petrol money) I was told in the group chat no I'll be going in the car with them that way I can't be late etc, and even if I get picked up on the way back she still wants the same amount of petrol money. I've been told by the hen in the group WhatsApp "you've known about this for 9 months so you could've saved, please moan to the others and not me" followed by lots of "amen" and emojis from the others. My response was so you're asking me to bitch behind your back then. I can't save money I don't have.

Part of me feels like saying I won't be attending either the hen do or wedding, leaving the group chat and saying don't talk to me talk about me to each other!

AIBU?

wtf 😂😂😂😂 she’s an idiot

I can’t believe grown women are actually like that??!!
Reply to FB post ‘oh no, I saw it. I’m just not paying £25 for a __ minute journey I won’t be on”.
she is embarrassing herself.

Well done, OP. You will be so much happier without these toxic people in your life.

I would ignore the FB message. Let her embarrass herself, if anyone follows it up, by explaining that you 'owe' her £25 for petrol for a journey you are not taking, while her costs are amply covered by the other passengers paying their share.

omg OP I didn't think they could sink lower, but obviously they can. well done to you for putting your foot down.

these are the worst kind of people. snobby and stingy at the same time. in the future if you get even a hint of this type of attitude, at least you will know not to bother!

This ^ Embarrass her to her FB buddies 😄
But seriously, stop following their posts and just block them on All SM.

@DodoTired A real friend wouldn't care what desert or wine you bought, they'd just be glad of your company.

Block, block, block the lot of them. Everywhere. Fannies.

She wants the petrol money for a trip you are not going on? This just shows you were right all along. No doubt about it now. Also an abusive text like you may expect from a daft teenager that doesn’t know any better. I would block them all now including the bride. Her attitude stinks as well.

How can the driver ask you for money when you're not going?! The petrol cost has to be divided amongst the people in the car! That's crazy of her. They have obviously been talking about you, for her to be so awful to you. You'll have to block her on social media. Sounds like you were right all along. I wouldn't go to the wedding now, because they'll all be gunning for you.

in my opinion you’ve done absolutely the right thing, for you now and for future you looking back.

tell her to take a hike, I’d wager that she’s not asked anyone else for any petrol money because she thought she could get it all from you. So she wants to save face.

Have you spent money on the trip already? Are you able to get some of the costs back if yes?

ride the wave, you’ll feel much better afterwards. Maybe go for a cheap wowcher spa day with your bestie the same weekend that it’s meant to be happening and post all over Facebook what an amazing time you’re having ;) xxx

This ❤️. I did think I'd ask about allergies/dietary requirements if I was bringing dessert for people I didn't know well enough to know, however it being frozen or shop bought isn't criminal. No one should make you feel crap for struggling financially.

Reading the rest through, they're just not nice people. More fool the bride if that's who she chooses to associate with. I think I can see why she didn't put them in a room with her cousin though. I bet she's not on a table with her relatives at the wedding either.

As if she wants fuel money from you, she's obviously not afraid for others to see her true colours, as this will highlight them to any reasonable person and she can't even begin to make out you're being a free loader whilst trying to get you to fill her tank up-you owe her nothing.

She is showing her true colours. Did she do it on a public fb page?

Don't respond on facebook - she's baiting you. Just block her on everything.

OP. You are so well out of all of this. You could always send them a link to this post?!

£25/each for a lift in her car is crazy. If 4 others she'll be making money out of everyone.

Yes, true, on one hand.

on the other hand if someone has form like that (constantly bringing cheapest item, backing out of group cost
at a last minute, leaving just a little bit less than necessary money for the bill etc), are THEY being a good friend themselves? Behaviour like that will surely grate on their friend. If one party makes the effort and another constantly doesn’t it is bound to have an impact.
because its not about money, it’s about effort
(rhetorical question, regardless of the OP)

Ignore her message! Why would you be expected for something you’re not using. Very cheeky!

Ha ha is it April 1st yet?
Or ignore and stand proud op. You aren't the utter bitch here.

£25 is insane. I fill my car up for £50 and I can do far more journeys than two 45 min trips, she’s absolutely taking the piss and seems really nasty on top of that.

Enjoy the freedom that comes from removing arseholes from your life

That's absolutely insane!

I'd reply to her fb message saying 'In case you missed MY original message, I sadly can't attend because I can no longer afford the trip, therefore I won't be paying for petrol. If you want to chat publicly about this, I'm happy to share the story on here and we can ask your friends to vote whether it's fair to ask someone for money for a trip they can't make.

They sound insane. You have done the right thing, I can’t stand the passive aggressive way in which she posted on fb, block block block them all

"Oh do you mean me. I thought the message asking for petrol money must be a mistake as I am no longer going"?

Or ignore if that will piss her off more.

Will you also be declining the wedding now as well?

Use Google to find out an estimate of how many ££ petrol is needed to the journey then tell her she is already collecting in x amount.. Surely she can't need any more from you?

@tiredandtesting123 Any drivers who profit by taking cash payments from friends could be fined up to £2,500 for operating an unlicensed taxi.
In some circumstances, they may even have their car seized by police, and could also have their insurance invalidated, as most providers won't cover private drivers if they accept payments from passengers.

Basically the driver is breaking the law.

Why the actual fuck does she want petrol money? What for? You're not going. Have I missed something??

“Why should I give you money when I’m not going? You’re not making any sense.”