Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

[candragonsbepurple]

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

Thank for coming back to update us OP. You did the right thing kicking him out. It's good to see someone being strong like that, it's an example to everyone else in any kind of a similar situation. You'll give someone else the strength to do the same thing. I hope you're ok.

Great update. Glad he's gone

I'm so happy for you! Congratulations on taking out the trash and putting yourself 1st. Lots of positive thoughts being sent your way, O/P.

Of course you're not being unreasonable and did the right thing to kick him out.

That said, my dh (my son's step dad) turned the wifi off when ds was 15 as he wouldn't stop gaming. Was awful but I completely backed up dh as he was right. Dh parented my kids in both the good and the bad and they both adore him.

Doesn't sound like this is the situation with your partner. Your son will always remember you having his back and being there for him.

I read this exact same post on Reddit months ago - except its an I an a rather than unreasonable!

Why did you send them to their dads? They will feel like you abandoned them.

Are your children happier living with their dad than you?

Not necessarily. They may have been the ones wanting to live with their dad and the op could be working hard to maintain a good relationship with them or it could be temporary while the op moved home and got things ready, we just don't know.

This is exactly why I sent them to their Dad's. They didn't feel safe anymore and nor did I - It took a while to get my ex-partner to leave, the age old adage kept springing to mind "You can lead a donkey to water, but you can't make it drink"

@SoreAndTired1 I have not abandoned them but thank you for the giggle you gave me. I live fifteen minutes drive from them in a house that I'm still unpacking and sorting out. My children live with their Dad in a house that has extra rooms with beds. Now which would you rather be in as a child?

Okay, lets give you a scenario
Stay in my old house and be harassed by a man who is aggressive and nasty or move somewhere that is: Safe and my Ex-Partner doesn't know about?

Which sounds better to you?

Just to confirm I was not having a go at you, just saying it is so unfair that you have to uproot your life because of an abusive prick 🫠

I'm glad you've got rid of this awful man, but in your first post you said he 'wasn't a live-in boyfriend' and that he'd gone home in a huff. So what do you mean by 'it took a while to get him to leave'?

What's happened to the house you were living in, the one that your mum left you? Have you sold it, bought a new house relocated your kids and moved to a new place all within the space of six weeks?!

To make a decision that drastic, I'm guessing the harassment was a police matter?

You do realise none of that is any of your business?

What a ridiculous comment! You do realise nothing on this site is anyone's business, either. Then this site wouldn't exist.

No detail anyone posts about their personal life is anyone’s business, and yet people still choose to share those details. Every thread is a conversation and typically, human conversation does include showing an interest and asking questions in what’s been shared, particularly if what’s been shared is a very dramatic and unusual situation which has some confusing/unclear elements. I’m sure the OP is perfectly capable of ignoring any questions she doesn’t want to answer.

@KreedKafer 👌

This should send alarm bells ringing. I’m all for discipline and switching of the Wi Fi but not under those circumstances. What did his father have to say about it?

Op hope you are ok. This sounds like it has been a really tough time for you. It’s so easy to say kick him out on the thread but I would imagine the logistics of doing so are much harder in real life. So well done and now onwards and upwards!