Partner turned off (My) wifi and upset my Son - AIBU

[candragonsbepurple]

My partner is childless. I have two children (A son who is eleven and a daughter who is seven)

My ex husband moved to take care of his Dad six months ago but before that we had been divorced two years. Exes Dad has cancer and he's alone (Ex is an only child and his Mum died way before I met him) I'd have moved myself and my children to be nearer to ex so they could see each other but Ex was completely adamant they stay where they are for school and their friends.

One of the ways my children communicate with their Dad is through video games. I dont know how it works but they talk to each other while they play. They do this every sunday for a few hours before tea time. Sunday just gone my son wasn't well but really wanted to play games with his dad. I said that was okay and I'd save him some dinner (I made him some eggs and soldiers)

My partner cut the wifi when my son didn't come to the table. His reasoning was my son was being disobedient but I'd told him three times that DS wasn't feeling a hundred percent and I don't force my kids to eat big meals when they are unwell. My son was understandably distraught thinking his Dad had ended the game without saying goodbye and my partner kicked off.

He started ranting and raving how under HIS roof my son should have more respect. I reminded partner that we live in 2024, not 1924 and the house I owned was mine that my Mother left to me.

I ended up kicking my partner out - He went home in a huff and now I'm being put in the middle by partner's Mum saying that I should teach my children respect.

AIBU in thinking it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

He is totally out of line. DD has a step dad, who we live with, and he's been in her life for 9 years. He would never overstep and do something like this. The final parenting decisions come down to me. That's a massive red flag that a boyfriend of ten months would behave like that. That should be the end of the relationship. Luckily he's shown you who he is fairly early on. He's shown you, so believe him. Don't make the mistake so many people do and think it's a one off or he will change etc.

Your poor son. I agree totally with others - end it and don't let him back in.

He has no right playing man of the house in your home and with your children.

This type of controlling behaviour is a massive red flag. His mum's opinion is irrelevant and you should get out of that relationship now imho

Agree

it's not my partner's place to parent my children - he's not a live-in boyfriend, we've been together ten months and that his Mum should keep her nose out

This

Please reconsider this relationship. How very dare he 😡

People really need to read the original post before making assumptions and posting completely irrelevant comments. Not helpful.

Op. In case you’re in any doubt about your decision.

Yep, a mother who has raised an entitled, controlling, bullying mummy’s boy has no business criticising the parenting skills of others !!

👏👏👏

Did you read the last paragraph?! Don’t be so rude

Indeed.

Yep. Amazing how many people have missed the fact that OP clearly said he wasn’t a live in boyfriend, and have gone on a completely unnecessary rant. I fear for the blood pressure of some posters here. Reading and comprehension skills on MN get worse day by day !!

Such an odd post. Have you never had an illness where you don't have an appetite, but at the same time aren't at deaths door and can still read, scroll on your phone, post on MN, watch Netflix etc. I'm assuming you don't play video games, but if you did you'd be able to do that also.

Tell his mother that she clearly didn't raise her children with respect and to fuck right off and keep him because you aren't being told how to parent YOUR children in YOUR house by a man who you've known for less that a year.

Get rid, do you really want your precious kids around someone like that? Under his roof?! He doesn't even live there! Plus his mum is already interfering after 10 months, how unbearable do you think she’d be if you ever got married etc in the future?!

Don't let the BF back in, no rights to dictate what you decide! His mum shouldn't get involved either. Seems like you're being a good parent dealing with a heavy situation; your children's grandfather is dying 😢

The OP started this thread three days ago and hasn't been back, nor have they ever posted anything else with that username.

How frightfully odd.

This

I know. Absolutely mind boggling that an OP would light the blue touch paper and then retire. Don’t think I could be arsed to search for their other posts though.🙄

Except that OP clearly said he isn’t a live in boyfriend. He was there for Sunday lunch.

OP your kids, your house, your table, your food, your decision about what, when and how they eat. This man is showing seriously abusive tendencies. Your kids are at risk. Get rid. If you want him as a boyfriend then get a babysitter sometimes and do what floats your boat but keep your family life completely separate. If you don't think you have the backbone to do that cut him out of your life. Your poor son, thinking his Daddy had abruptly ended the game. It's of course no coincidence that your "partner" chose to assert himself when your kids were having time with their Daddy, he's behaving like a fucking gorilla. As for Linda, she should learn, and should have taught the gorilla, that respect is something mutual and earned; it is very different from fear.

To be fair, it didn't exactly take long!

What I do find odd about the OP not coming back is that it’s despite a lot of support for her - apart from the usual few posters not reading properly and banging on about the evils of live in boyfriends. Usually OP’s do a runner from their threads because they don’t like the responses. Unless, of course, in OP’s case it’s that she doesn’t want to end the relationship for good so doesn’t want to hear that, along with his mummy, he’s a massive walking red flag for all kinds of future abuse.

I don't even know how to search for other posts , didn't know you could 🤔 but the silence from OP is deafening.

I’d treat this as a warning sign. Deep down you know what you must do.