Children with ASD / ADHD going to mainstream school.

[BabbaJoe]

What has been your experience of your ‘High-Functioning’ ASD / ADHD child going to mainstream secondary school? My DS is in Year 5 and very academically able. He is happy at his mainstream primary, but frankly he is hopeless socially. They struggle with social cues, have no friends, and act very silly and immature. Whilst he is accepted by his peers, he has no friends, and has been called weird / freak in the past 😔

We have been told that he will not qualify for an EHCP as he is very intelligent and ahead academically, and there are no real reasons to warrant it as he is quite happy at school.

My real concern is secondary school, as that’s when I hear time and time again that ASD / ADHD kids fall apart.

I have three options:

• Mainstream Secondary
• Private School
• Private School that specialises in students with high-functioning ASD.

We can afford the private options, but it will mean cutting back and financial sacrifices.

Those who have been in my position, what would you do, and how did your children cope in mainstream?

My dc have ADHD which is a learning difficulty and both have an EHCP 25 hours per week 1 :1

They are academically able, the eldest got 10 GCSEs, mostly As and now on to A-levels

We have a 3 tier system here but they've excelled in mainstream. State schools. Small classes with sometimes less than 10. I can't fault our schools and certainly would never bother going private but it's very much a postcode lottery.

Firstly I’d have a look at IPSEA. LA’s and schools are renowned for telling parents they won’t get an EHCP. You can apply yourself.

My son is severely autistic with SLD has been in a special school since year 2. He finished education last year age 23. His senior school was the only special school in our area and none of the children were high functioning and all had a learning disability so unless there is a school that has other children similar to your son I’m not sure a special school would be the right way forward. Of course you could have suitable special schools in your area.

I think it’s also just inaccurate. It’s not a linear spectrum but more like a colour wheel with different areas impacted. So you can’t always say who is high or low functioning as it changes.

Completely understandable. Home educating definitely won’t be my first choice!

@Jobsharenightmare

www.autismawareness.com.au/aupdate/why-we-should-stop-using-the-term-high-functioning-autism

Just because a term is still used in certain sectors, doesn't mean it's okay. And given that it is a term being used to describe autistic people, I think it's only right to let autistic people guide us in what is appropriate.

If you're in Cardiff.... and the Independent mainstream with SEN provision is there... it's really very good for the social awkward etc.... very inclusive in every way and good academic standards etc... my DS was in the primary and now in the secondary and it was the best option for him

It’s really offensive. When you get an autism diagnosis you are not high functioning otherwise you wouldn’t have a diagnosis as everyday functioning needs to be limited and impaired. My children have autism but not an intellectual disability, they are in no way high functioning. The term really belittles their struggles.

I’ve had lots of comments about avoiding private but a few on here saying it works well. Why is that?

I was terrified of my son going to secondary school and was convinced he was going to really struggle and be bullied but he's now in Year 8 at a mainstream secondary school and he's thriving. He's got ASD, ADHD and Dyspraxia but the school have been brilliant and he's on track or ahead in all subjects - heading for 9s in Science currently. And he got an EHCP in Year 6 so I'm echoing many other people in saying to ignore what the primary school is saying about not getting one for academically able children. I do think the EHCP has been important in my son's great experience as it provides him with that extra support but other things that have helped are - moving from lesson to lesson really helps him regulate so much better than Primary. And the school has a SEN lunch club that he goes to be with the other quirky kids. Definitely look around mainstream schools as I have been so impressed with ours and I'm really proud of how my son has coped.

@BabbaJoe if you go on the Ipsea website, the EHCP process is explained in detail.

The needs assessment results in a bunch of reports (the most important is the educational psychologist one) which are then read (supposedly) by the LA, who decide whether to issue an EHCP or not.

The problem is they often decide not, but this is because of money normally.

You can take them (for free) to the SENDIST tribunal, and over 95% of parents win their case. In a lot of cases parents will need to do a tribunal to get the LA to assess and another one to get them to issue.

Yes it is a gigantic hassle, but it's not up to school to say what a child would or would not qualify for.

Another parent here with academically able autistic children. Mine have EHCPs, made it through mainstream primary and are now in independent special secondaries where they are doing well. We did have to go to tribunal, but the judgements were very clear cut.

Don't assume a school senco has any idea what they're talking about. The test for an EHC needs assessment is very low. It's unlikely your child wouldn't meet that bar.
So go for it and then see what the assessments show. Either you'll agree he doesn't need an EHCP (though the info gathered can still be used to inform their future support) OR it will show things differently and you can push for a plan to be issued.

@Newsenmum because private schools vary enormously!

@YorkBound Absolutely not, I’m not sure where you got that impression from.

Everyone that I have spoken to has said my DS will not get an EHCP. He does not have a great enough need. If a child has done ‘well’ at a mainstream primary, how does the argument stack up with the local authority that they now need a £20k + package to go to a specialist secondary school?

If I thought my DC wasn’t as ‘special needs’ as others, I wouldn’t be considering sending him to a school that specialises in ASD, at a massive cost to myself.

I know it is hard to process.

But a surprisingly large number of people who express opinions on this matter are misinformed or actually lie.

And am I right in thinking they don’t need to support a sen child?

That is wonderful to hear! My eldest didn't cope well at high school and I have massive fears for my youngest as she barely copes in primary (academically she is way above average, but has no ideas how to navigate people or conventions etc, it is heartbreaking to see).

My daughter who has ADHD goes to a non- selective private school which has a significant proportion of children who have SEN.
however, she also is not very academic.
I’d just go and visit every school you can. You’ll know which is the right one.

@Phineyj If I managed to get an EHCP at primary school, and he continues to be managing mainstream well, would I realistically have a shot at getting the private specialist school funded for Year 7? I have been told that students need to have demonstrated that they cannot cope in mainstream before this will be considered to be funded by the local authority.

Based on what you've said he is unlikely to get an EHCP. If he did have one, what would it be for? He doesn't need it for learning. Unless he's anxious, school refusing, has difficulties regulating emotions and behaviours in school to the point that he is hurting others (or himself) or has significant sensory needs then it's highly unlikely. If he's not upset by having no friendships, then it's not appropriate to 'make' him try. Some neurodiverse people are happy as they are.

There will need to be evidence that his needs are greater than what a school can provide at SEN support level. Is he one the SEND register and does he have an IEP.

I think mainstream secondaries can go both ways and one saw if with lots of students I've worked with. Because of the higher numbers of students he's more likely to find his tribe both socially and academically. However kids with high levels of anxieties can struggle with the transitions and sensory demands.

I'd go and visit your local schools and meet with the senco and see what they offer. See what adaptions and interventions are available (should he need it) for children with ASD\ADHD.

If you're not happy then explore the private option, but again do your research and make sure that he won't be disadvantaged academically and that he would have access to peer role models.

Op just saw your update. It's highly unlikely the LA would fund a specialist private school. There has to be significant evidence that his needs can't be met at mainstream.

@mirror245 This has always been what I have been told. But others on here are saying different, so I may need to explore the EHCP route.

My main concern with mainstream is his confidence and self esteem being eroded as he is an absolute prime target for bullying.

OP, my opinion is that you could possibly get there eventually but you do not have sufficient time to achieve that for year 7.

Sorry.

You don't need learning disabilities to get an EHCP. Whoever told you that doesn't know what they are talking about.
But having said that, we have had no luck finding a suitable academic school for our DS who has ADHD but is academic. It will be easier to find an ASD school for academic pupils though.

My son doesn’t have a learning disability and his old Senco said my ehcp request would be rejected but he now has an EHCP and specialist independent school placement. So that in itself shouldn’t stop him getting one. My son had lots of unmet needs.

It’s whether the needs require more than what mainstream can offer using their send budget (£6k per child on their sen register a year).

I would go private specialist given those three options for my son.

With regards to him being happy at his school, my son loved his mainstream school but was completely overwhelmed there and spent all his time outside the classroom with a 1-2-1. He had children who would look after him and a couple of friends but struggled making social connections with his peers. I really struggled with deciding whether to move him as he really wanted to stay (mostly because he loved his teachers). But he has settled so well into his specialist. He has made so many friends, has learned so much and most importantly he is really happy and not constantly overwhelmed.

@Phineyj Would I not need to evidence a significant need though, as @mirror245 says? I would have thought a child would need to demonstrate that they cannot cope, or are at crisis point, or mainstream cannot meet need before a LA would fund a specialist school. The reasoning would be that I believe my DS wouldn’t cope at a mainstream secondary emotionally or socially and would get bullied. But I’m not sure there is evidence for that, beyond my own intuition, belief and knowledge of my child.

Different children, different schools.

For some, full marks in SATS and a stellar IQ do not translate into being able to cope with the high levels of homework and "hoop jumping" that private or grammar school often demands. Whereas we have found bullying hasn't really been a problem at a MS comp with an ethos that puts pastoral care first. Several teachers have mentioned their own autism to the class; most of my NT child's friends identify as autistic; homework demand is low and not just "busy work". Utterly different to both the demands of grammar, and the "lamb to the slaughter" trope that keeps scared middle class parents forking out for private school. But we've also been lucky - bullying can still happen anywhere, including schools with a strong pastoral ethos whether private, grammar or comp.

It's not even about individual schools. Even within one year group, different children at the same school can experience a very different social landscape, and the demand load varies by teacher. It's a big roll of the dice. Just make the best judgement you can and as a PP said, be prepared to be flexible. The challenges and autistic child comes up against may be completely different to the ones you think they'll struggle with. A Y10 is a very different person from the person they were in Y5, with a different set of feelings, priorities, experiences and worries.