Children with ASD / ADHD going to mainstream school.

[BabbaJoe]

What has been your experience of your ‘High-Functioning’ ASD / ADHD child going to mainstream secondary school? My DS is in Year 5 and very academically able. He is happy at his mainstream primary, but frankly he is hopeless socially. They struggle with social cues, have no friends, and act very silly and immature. Whilst he is accepted by his peers, he has no friends, and has been called weird / freak in the past 😔

We have been told that he will not qualify for an EHCP as he is very intelligent and ahead academically, and there are no real reasons to warrant it as he is quite happy at school.

My real concern is secondary school, as that’s when I hear time and time again that ASD / ADHD kids fall apart.

I have three options:

• Mainstream Secondary
• Private School
• Private School that specialises in students with high-functioning ASD.

We can afford the private options, but it will mean cutting back and financial sacrifices.

Those who have been in my position, what would you do, and how did your children cope in mainstream?

This is what I’m really worried about and we’re currently trying to make sure we can survive on just one income if possible as I feel like I might end up home educating.

I think you should look at as many schools as possible and keep an open mind.

I started an ECHP in October of year 5 and am still grimly trekking through the process (second tribunal in a couple of weeks). But that's been in parallel to the normal secondary application process and I'm happy with the school we've got - but it's one I'd never even heard of when I started researching.

I used to teach in a superselective grammar and while there were quite a few students who I (now) can recognise as ASD, there was very very little support for them, not because anyone at the grammar was horrible but because grammars actually don't have a whole lot of money and tend not to have much in the way of SEN staff and facilities. Although having said that there is a boys' superselective in this area with an ASD resource base.

@Newsenmum I am also considering home education, but my son currently isn’t struggling in mainstream primary, so I do want to give him the opportunity to at least attempt secondary school.

OP, you can't know if your son would get an EHCP or not if you don't apply. The whole point of the needs assessment is (or should be) to find out what his needs are.

That is not meant to be an unsympathetic comment. A lot of us have been where you are.

@Phineyj So do they assess and make their own judgement? How much of the schools input / parental input goes into the decision to give an EHCP? As the school have been very clear that they don’t believe he’d be entitled to it, so they wouldn’t be supportive.

Dd was undiagnosed but we always assumed she was ASD. A formal (severe) ADHD diagnosis when she was at Oxbridge school as as we had no clue.

She went to state secondary and was in the top sets. We encouraged her to play sport outside of school to overcome what we thought were normal friendship issues. She was head girl. Excelled in her exams. It's not always a disaster for everyone. She would also certainly have had exactly the same issues on a private school. Grammar wasn't an option, but we wouldn't have sent her regardless.

Secondary school has been fine for autistic DD. She has a couple of friends although she doesn't fit with the crowd. There is a great deputy head of year that she goes to with problems and good provision for those who need some structure at lunch time. It's 100x better than primary.

I work in an autism specialist secondary school. It is excellent. I have an autistic 19 year old that went to mainstream but had a full time 1:1 LSA. He is now at a very good uni. He has an ehcp. All the very academically able kids that I work with have ehcp's. Do not let some mainstream primary head / local GP tell you that your son won't get one.

You can try mai stream but, if he's already struggling socially, and you have access to an appropriate specialist setting, take it.

as pps have said, sometimes kids with ASd thrive at school.

my friend’s son has ASD- reasonably high functioning. He actually has a close knit group of friends who share his diagnosis and niche interests!

sometimes, a bigger school means it’s easier to find your tribe.

One DC, diagnosed ASD, had an absolutely awful time at the excellent ofsted rated state secondary and it was hell for me too. Second DC, currently awaiting assessment for ADHD/ASD, also hated the state secondary. 3rd DC, I believe has ASD but not diagnosed, is very academic and absolutely loves their state secondary. They all went to the same school.

I know very few parents who's school said their child does need one. We actually had a meeting with the senco and head teacher at DDs school in Y5 where they said there's no way she'll get an EHCP as both their kids didn't and were more severe!
If you have a mainstream school with an ASD unit that would be ideal imo. Again, I would avoid private.

@RainingCatsandfrogs it really isn’t everyone’s experience. Some do well, achieve GCSEs and go on to college.

We opened the department at break and lunchtime for anyone who didn’t want to be outside with the hurly burly. We were a safe space if lessons were overwhelming, we disseminated lots of information to subject teachers, we had lots of adjustments- ear defenders, leaving lessons a bit early, visual timetables, scaffolded work, lots of warning for change ( that’s not infallible).

It’s worth applying for an EHCP and will be useful if it’s granted.

I have a child in a sen school for children with ASD.
There is no way he would of coped in a mainstream secondary school.
He is in yr 12 now and is doing well.
My youngest son is yr 4 and has ASD/adhd and in mainstream primary but has an ehcp and a 1to1.
He won't be going to mainstream secondary either.
Only you know your child, it us also a myth that they have to be behind to get an ehcp.

My foster son asd/adhd has always been in mainstream. He has EHCP. We concentrated this around his social and emotional difficulties.
although not very academic we put him in a school that offers GCSEs in subjects he is interested in as well as the mainstream ones.
Like your son he has no real friends, he finds it really hard to communicate with people, there’s no give and take from him. He has a couple of ‘friends’ he plays with online but when he sees them in real life it’s quite awkward.
Id apply for EHCP and look around mainstream, speak to the sencos and pastoral teams.

My ds was still performing highly at the end of primary but he’s been going downhill; attempted suicide during GCSEs, scraped enough GCSEs to do A levels but I have no idea if he will be up to sitting them, emotionally or academically. (He is y12 now.)

We were keen to keep him in mainstream because he is very bright and were worried he wouldn’t get the opportunities to excel academically in a special school. In retrospect of course this feels naive. He has friends, but then probably he would have at another school too?

In retrospect, if I had your menu of options, it would be the private school with ASD expertise, like a shot. The SEN staff at his state comprehensive are excellent but I think specialist input would have been really useful to him.

Trouble was, his original autism assessment found him not autistic and it was only when we had him reassessed we got the diagnosis, so with the information we had then, mainstream seemed best.

Just FYI: the phrase 'high functioning' is not considered acceptable these days. It implies that less academically able / socially able autistic people are somehow 'low functioning' and that is thoroughly offensive.

I didn't apply for a statement (as it was) for DS as he was making good progress with the support his excellent infant school had in place, and he managed to get along without an EHCP through his supportive junior school. It was his secondary school who suggested applying in Y7, he definitely needed it then I had hoped he wouldn't but you just can't tell.

I agree with both Dogskidsdogs and Usernamewassavedsuccessfully, visit all the schools you might want to apply to and get a feel for how they run. You might be surprised which one gives you the feeling your DS would do best there. To be frank, I do think a mainstream school with a separate ASD unit is going to be better than one without, but even one that doesn't might be better than the next school. My DS's secondary school has been fantastic with him, my DNephew's has been lousy for him. The difference between them for the support and intervention offered has been astounding, yet they are both mainstream secondaries without specialist units.

My DS is also very academic but he's struggled with "accessing the curriculum", in that if he feels anxious or upset he just shuts down and obviously he's not learning then. Increased anxiety means he struggles more to cope with classroom disruption, alarms, sudden changes in routine, usual teacher off ill, etc. You might think your dc is doing OK and won't need any adjustments made, but secondary is very different from the cosy world of primary with one teacher in one classroom and all familiar faces. The size of the building, the quantity of pupils (some of whom are huge and look like adults), the quantity of teachers, the maze-like quality of the corridors, the many new subjects, the quantity of homework - it's all a bewildering cacophony of stimuli and that can be very overwhelming compared to primary/junior school.

We had meetings with the new school and worked out an excellent enhanced transition for DS and he still struggled terribly in Y7. It's just huge for children with ASD. But all schools are different and all children are different, so it does depend.

School spouts some bollocks don't they.

My son has a gifted IQ and has no learning needs whatsoever. He has an EHCP and is thriving in a specilaist autism secondary. He'll would freeze over before I put him back in mainstream.

My husband tutors via the LEA autistic children who have fallen out of secondary and getting the right provision is too time consuming by then. It's shocking how many autistic children there are non attending.

OP please take a look at IPSEA and you will very quickly become far more knowledgable about ehcps than your school (and probably your LA!)
IMO if schools can get away with not applying then they do; they are very hard work for them for little return (for the school). They hate it even more if parents apply as the school then has to respond to the consult in a timely manner instead of spending 6 months writing an application....

@YorkBound I know high function autistic isn’t used, or Asperger’s, but it’s very difficult to get across your child’s profile quickly and concisely by just saying ‘autistic’. I of course wouldn’t want to offend anyone x

There are so many different kids with different personalities as secondary school. It will be really eye opening for the children when they start.
additionally, with the larger state schools, there can be more opportunities for after school clubs that your DS would enjoy - Lego, stem, eco science etc

We use high functioning all the time in secondary care mental health. It denotes no intellectual disability.

Your child sounds similar to my DD (year 6). Although since mid year 5 things changed for her and she has become much more social, has friends etc. No learning difficulties/very capable academically. She's heading to a grammar in September which we hope will be a good fit for her. Nervous about the pressure/competitive environment as she is very avoidant, however the school has a much higher proportion of "quirky" and "nerdy" kids and a much calmer, more focussed and organised environment and I just can't imagine her making it out of the comp her older brother goes to intact. I'd look to see if there's similar schools where you are.

The earlier you intervene the better in my experience, but, most local authorities are broke and even serving critical situations such as exclusions and unable to attend.
Places at EHCP funded special schools are very very scarce and expensive - therefore the fight is huge and the success rate extremely low.
That doesn’t mean you should give up, maybe focus on ensuring that needs are maintained in mainstream

Best of luck (I mean that in a positive way - being a SEN parent can be brutal…)

@BabbaJoe
I'm not sure where you have got these ideas from. All of the kids at our specialist ASD school have come from mainstream, many have done very well there. Just because your son has coped so far doesn't mean he won't get a place in a specialist school. Not having an ehcp will though. All sorts of kids have ehcp's.
I'm not being funny but have you, thus far, felt as though your child wasn't as 'special needs' as all those children with ehcp's? I'm starting to get the impression that you don't want to think of your ds as 'one of them'.