Children with ASD / ADHD going to mainstream school.

[BabbaJoe]

What has been your experience of your ‘High-Functioning’ ASD / ADHD child going to mainstream secondary school? My DS is in Year 5 and very academically able. He is happy at his mainstream primary, but frankly he is hopeless socially. They struggle with social cues, have no friends, and act very silly and immature. Whilst he is accepted by his peers, he has no friends, and has been called weird / freak in the past 😔

We have been told that he will not qualify for an EHCP as he is very intelligent and ahead academically, and there are no real reasons to warrant it as he is quite happy at school.

My real concern is secondary school, as that’s when I hear time and time again that ASD / ADHD kids fall apart.

I have three options:

• Mainstream Secondary
• Private School
• Private School that specialises in students with high-functioning ASD.

We can afford the private options, but it will mean cutting back and financial sacrifices.

Those who have been in my position, what would you do, and how did your children cope in mainstream?

Visit the schools to get a feeling. The one that should have suited my relative on paper, wasn't great on visiting and another one less likely to suit turned out to be surprisingly perfect.

My relative went state mainstream and it's been absolutely fine. The school has excellent SEN measures in place and allows kids without ECHP but with diagnosis to access the quiet room etc.

The other kids are understanding (especially the girls who are kind to him and his quirks-he's v immature, no real friends, socially odd etc) and there's been no bullying.

I know it's a great unknown but try not to think the worst, you may be pleasantly surprised, relative is now about to leave school!

@BabbaJoehi I just wondered if you had an update at all going through something very similar with my son who is due to start mainstream secondary this year. Thank you

In our experience, if you have a capable child with adhd then mainstream secondary tend to settle for "doing ok" rather than proactively providing additional support to help them reach their full potential. Basically, if your child is predicted at least 4s at GCSE, then they're not bothered with implementing adhd friendly strategies.

Our 9yo dd has now had 3 bouts of school avoidance in mainstream. We were told she didn't need an ehcp (this was pre diagnosis) but fought for one anyway. They're now updating her ehcp because it's no longer fit for purpose (she's just been diagnosed with autism) which has resulted in her being out of school due to burnout since December. As a 'high functioning' she was on the lowest funding model. Turns out she needs a lot more support than first seems to be the case.

Hi,

We have chosen a small and nurturing private school for DS. Having visited the large, mainstream senior schools local to us, I did not feel DS would settle there, let alone thrive. It’s become apparent he needs a small environment where he is known to staff and is able to access things such as a wellbeing hub.

We are very fortunate to have a grandparent who is paying part of the fees and that we earn well enough to be able to facilitate this.