Grey area of group holiday finances

[Lalalalala555]

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

Honestly I think you've been too generous. You should have just said, we've found accommodation, this is the cost, split evenly, and if you don't want it we can ask others.

OP, who is going to be organising food and drink for this trip? Is that also going to become a bone of contention?

I do feel for you, I can see how this has happened, but I don't know how you're going to salvage this situation without paying more - or having some very hard conversations with 'short stay' friends. If they hang about on Sunday then that may also upset the other couple?

How close friends are you actually?

I wouldn't have offered them a compromise solution, I've learnt with these things- particularly with relatives involved- it's always the booker who ends up with the sticky end of the lollipop. Oh and I had my VRBO rating trashed as some relatives are unable to clean up after themselves or follow simple key deposit instructions.

Is it possible to cancel without losing money?
If you could that's what I'd suggest and say that everyone should stay in a hotel instead so can sort out their own accommodation costs.

Its not about bending.

Its more about gut feelings, keeping peace, if to invite others instead, if im being reasonable or unreasonable.

I just cant feel comfortable with the amount they proposed they pay after what we offered.

Id rather invite other friends.
Also don't want drama or fall outs.

It just sucks really because either they have bad feelings or i do.
And trying to use the Internet to convince me either im being unreasonable and shouldn't feel like what they're suggesting is unfair.

Or that me feeling what they're suggesting is not fair, is okay.
:s

Ie decision time and how to feel.

Yep that's the thing.
They want the cost to go down for them. And that means up for us. Significantly.

But they still want the benefit of us paying for the third night.

And we already suggested a cheaper price for everyone but us, before we knew they didnt want to stay Sunday.
So my view is we tried to be nice already. :s

Thanks for phrasing a reply.

Ah cool. Thanks for this.
Yes, we already offered a subsidised price.
And then yesterday weeks after we posted the place and costs and offer.

They said they decided to stay two nights so only want to pay 2/3 of 1/6 of total cost or they will not come.

We've offered to do 100pp for everyone else and me and my partner pay 160.

But after that. I think we just say okay dont come.

This. You should have discussed before booking.

Do not pay more and take the singles!

If you allow people to pay less then you absolutely get the best bedroom!

@Lalalalala555 The problem here is that you booked it without ever getting an agreement on the number of nights they were staying and what everyone was being asked to pay. It's further compounded because you offered them a cheaper rate than it was actually costing, after the place had already been booked. So this is my reckoning

1. The cost of the cottage is £740 for 3 nights = £246.6666 - call it £247 per night for all 6 of you = approximately £41 each person per night. So £82 per person for TWO nights
2. They have offered £80 each for 2 nights, so very close there.
3. Since couple number 3 will need to leave with couple no 2 that means those 2 couples will pay £320 between them and leaving you with £420 for you to pay for 3 nights

Could you drop the 3rd Couple off for a train or something on the Monday, so they could stay over on the Sunday night? Or even take them home yourself, or is it too far in opposite directions sort of thing?

The thing is, you made a unilateral decision and this was always a risk without getting agreement from everyone. So it is difficult.

I think if they don't accept the £100 suggestion ( for each couple, per night), you could

1. Try negotiating with them, and point out that they can stay longer on the Sunday Morning, so they don't need to leave too early, will have time to do whatever is required to clean up/strip beds or whatever is required in their own rooms and £100 is reasonable for the extra time they will get to do all that?
2. Accept their offer, suck it up and put it down to experience (yours, for not getting agreement before you booked) and you know for future reference to get agreement on all of that kind of thing before deciding.
3. Insist on the £100 and probably fall out with them - which as you say they are family, you don't want to do

Hope this all works out amicably

Would it have been possible to book for 2 nights?

This is exactly the problem.
They're family of my partner, saying they are not willing to pay and it has to be less or they won't come.
The other couple are his friends. And they are willing to pay and come.

So, its not just friends. Ie it family that may end up with less warm insides both them and us.
Oh dear!

Any possibility that the cottage owners could let you stay 2 nights and adjust the price accordingly?

Can you explain what you mean?

They're sibling and wife of my partner.

Thanks.

Tricky because I see your point but you booked it anyway before inviting them....and they could have said no , leaving you with the full cost (unless you had someone else lined up)
And if you say no you have to pay for 3 nights they could still turn round and say - OK we'll stay somewhere else for the 2nights we need where its cheaper overall.

Given they benefit on the third day without staying the night I would see if they will split the difference but you may just have to suck it up, or risk losing them from the weekend and potentially as friends.

Bit tricky. If it was essentially a group decision then it's one third each regardless if anyone subsequently decides to leave early. But if you booked the cottage with consulting them then it's ultimately your responsibility. Having said that, if they agreed a while ago, and the stay is now coming up soon then I think they are still basically committed to one third of the cost, as you could have asked someone else if they'd said no at that point.

What are your alternatives at this point. Can you cut the whole stay down to nights for everyone? Could you ask someone else instead who'd like to come for the whole time?

In any case, between you are staying for 7 "couple nights" so you the fair division if you are all still happy to go ahead is probably 2/7, 2/7, 3/7. So you would pay 50% more than them. And if they are going to stay until the last evening (rather than leave a whole 24 hours earlier) then they should pay the full third.

So you booked without discussing with the others how many nights? That's a problem

Update:
We offered to split it 100pp and then my partner and i pay 170pp.
But they said no.
If theyre not paying 80 ish theyre not coming.
And so now they've said they're not coming.

Fine without me.
But now nervous about if they are fine or actually quite pissed off.
And biggest concern if my partner is okay.
And also if they say mean things about me to my partner.

What fun.

Hopefully everyone reading this is learning from my experience.

Holiday cottages - and rooms therein - are not the same as hotels. You book 2 nights j stead of 3 in a hotel? You pay less (probably only 2/3 of the cost) as the hotel can sell your room to someone else for that night. You cannot do that in a cottage scenario, nor can you ask someone else to come as the bedding will be used etc. Tell them to come or you’ll ask someone else - they’re being very unreasonable. (Also the cost of a holiday cottage for 2 nights likely won’t be hugely cheaper anyway, as they tend to be booked for weeks or weekends and a large chunk of the cost is for cleaning and laundry.)

Yes. But did say they can choose to come or not.
And said how much it would be.

I've changed my mind

In one of your messages you said there's no minimum stay. So, perhaps you should have booked for 2 nights (assuming that's cheaper) as everyone might have been content with that. And then explored if people wished to pay more to add Sun night as well

In your shoes, I'd probably suck it up with rather bad grace and avoid getting in this situation again

BTW, Splitwise app is great for splitting holiday costs as you can add entries and say that eg lunch is to split between A and B, golf between B and C etc. And at the end, it simplifies the maths so everyone just makes one payment

I was going to say they are being very unreasonable if they had agreed to cottage booking.
But if you did it without checking first- and I can understand why - then it was at your risk.
However having said that are they leaving 10am on Sunday? If they are they staying till mid afternoon early evening then they are still using the facilities for longer than a 2 night stay and I think they should pay the extra night