Grey area of group holiday finances

[Lalalalala555]

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

You do sound lovely and reasonable OP and I think you’ve dodged a bullet. The amounts you’re taking about aren’t huge (you couldn’t get hotel rooms for that price) most normal families would be thanking you for arranging everything and happy with the prices you’ve suggested.

They sound like control freaks with money so a holiday with shared costs for food etc would likely be a nightmare. You offered a compromise, whereas they didn’t budge, that also says a lot. I think you’ve walked the line of not being taken advantage of really well. I’d rather suck up the cost on my own than have them there after all of this.

Don’t worry or feel bad about it, if they did bad-mouth you to any other family members it’s likely everyone has noticed the way they are with money anyhow and be able to see through it.

Hahaha! Yes, do this 💪👍

Also hotels often charge a late check-out fee of £20 😉 It would wind me up beyond belief if they were hanging around all day after being that fussy about the cost.

It seems to me that you and DP have bent over backwards to be fair and accommodating (paying more, taking the singles and doing the booking) and that this other couple is just being cheap and mean. They initially accepted and then said just two nights, right? I would never do that i.e. try to pay less because I'd changed my mind about how long to stay. They must know that would mean the rest of you paying more. What decent person would do that? 😳

I actually think you are being unreasonable but not through being mean.

The cost per night is £82. Yes, it is a fixed cost but only you need the third night that you booked so only you should pay the third night that you booked. Otherwise you are expecting other people to subsidise your extra night away.

I know they have been offered a deal that they can take or leave. I understand that. It was pretty obvious all along that they were going to choose ‘leave’ though as they see it that they are being asked to subsidise your extra night. You see it as you are subsidising their trip away, which I would agree with if it had been agreed in advance. As it hadn’t been agreed, you should split the number of nights everyone needs equally and pay the remaining cost of the night only you need by yourself. The extra night was the risk you were prepared to take. You rolled the dice on it and lost. The consequence of that is that the third night cost doesn’t get split.

I know they won’t be leaving at 10am most likely but also they are family and as weird as people are saying they are being about not spending the extra £40 for a night they aren’t staying, it’s even weirder to expect family members to leave at 10am as if you are a hotel manager and not a sister in law. You could have explained the extra £20 cost each as a late check out fee. Two nights would have been £164 each so £100 each is to cover 1 night and late check out but not the bed for the night. If they say they’d rather pay £84 and leave at 10am then fine, they get up early and don’t use any of the facilities for the day.

This just all sounds like really bad communication and two groups of people both legitimately thinking that they are being asked to subsidise someone else’s trip and saying no. The one upside to all this is that you are both remarkably similar.

This is what I think, if it’s you needing the third night and the others can’t make use of it due to work etc, then you should pay for that separately really.

if you didn’t need that third night, then there wouldn’t even be an issue.

if I was your friend I’d pay equally but secretly think it was a bit cheeky that I’m paying for the extra day that only you need, if I was you I wouldn’t ask them to pay for that extra day knowing neither couple can stay that night.

but it seems to have worked out for the best now anyway.

More than once the OP has mentioned that they need a home base for Sunday. I assumed, possibly in error, that the event goes into Sunday and they all would be attending some or all of the Sunday schedule, thus needing a place to regroup/rest/eat/whatever on Sunday.

The house is needed on Sunday, even if they don't spend the night. It seems most rentals have a list of tasks they expect guests to perform, couple(s) leaving early also leave that work for the OP and her husband.

My husband's family does a big family reunion week every 2-3 years. Whoever does the arranging lets us all know the cost and that's what we pay, regardless of whether we arrive a day late, leave a day early, etc.

OP, I'm so glad it seems to be sorted out and that it sounds like your weekend will be quite relaxing and fun.

X

We once got absolutely screwed on holiday costs on a group family trip. We paid an eye watering figure for two nights in a tiny room somewhere we would never choose to go. Took it on the chin, put it down to experience, and will never do it again!

But would you then have expected to use the facilities for the day you haven’t paid for? And leave the OP with the cleaning up to do before checking out?

If we’re prepared to be up and out by 10am on Sunday then fair enough. But that’s not the case here. The family want to use the facilities for Sunday daytime without paying their share for it.

Also, the OP has said that Sunday night is cheaper so even if you discount the cheekiness of using the facilities on Sunday daytime for free, it still wouldn’t be £80pp, which is all the other family were prepared to pay.

It just to be nice tbh so that the amount we said it would be for the others was a round number.
(740/6 =123.33 so we just rounded down to 110pp

and not £120?

I find it strange given what you have started this thread about, and your other thread about dividing car costs with your partner…. that you would decide to completely unnecessarily sub your friends £13.33 and not even mention it to them, but then this

This