Grey area of group holiday finances

[Lalalalala555]

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

I think it’s unfair that they would get a full days use after 10am to leave whenever they want and not have to do the last minute clean and expect to then pay less. Because if the other two couples where not staying the extra night they would have the early leave and cleaning.

Depends how much you like this couple basically don’t wish to remain friends after or not? You also have the risk of the other couple suddenly deciding that actually yeah that sounds good we will leave then too

Thanks for all the replies.

So i do understand if they don't come at all we have to pay even more. Or find other people who would be excited to come.

Maths is:
Total is 740.
My partner and I pay 124ish, the others 110.
Was upto them if they wanted to come, and for how long. But this was how much it would be.
(as we'd booked somewhere without consulting/ doing the is this okay thing first)

If they dont come, I understand wed be paying the full or finding other people if I have others that are willing to stay.

It gets complex because the other couple invited, who were fine with the split.. We think would be relying on the couple that have said they're not okay with the cost for car share. ( live in city so dont own car of their own).

What would be a shame is not to see everyone.
As one couple is wanting to lift share with the other, they're all planning to not stay Sunday.
And to be fair, i would want to say it's the same cost for all of them.
Ie the couple that complained shouldn't pay less than the one that didnt.

But i understand that just means that me and my partner then have to pay even more.

Mathematically it would work out
They'd each pay 80pp and wed pay 210pp ish. Which is more than double.

We've suggested they pay 100 and we pay 160ish and we'll see where that goes.

But as the cost is already fixed and has to be paid by someone, if people say they want to pay less it means others have to pay more.

Equally if only one of the couples was coming, we'd said we'd only charge them 110 each irrespective of whether there were six or four people staying.

At this point. Its weighing up just stomaching it or not.
It seems like either one of the couples will be upset, or I will feel a bit bitter about it. And I'm writing to see how 'reasonable' my gut feeling is of feeling its not fair/okay for them to expect to pay £80 rather than £110 and it be fine.

I think we've been reasonable offering a lower price of £100. But now it's just a waiting game to see what they think. And maybe this solution means everyone feels unhappy.

I think they need to pay 1/3 of the total and I wouldn't be going on holiday with anyone who couldn't see that.

I've been on lots of group holidays, but it's always much more, no let me pay, are you sure I don't owe you for shopping, drinks, petrol, than people clamoring to pay less and causing the organiser aggravation.

They are related to my partner.
So keeping peace and being reasonable is important.
Hence asking for internets opinion on if im being an arse or not.
Or if they are. Or if we all are.

Thanks. Why wouldn't you be going on holiday with someone that wouldn't?
Please can you explain? Thanks. :)

Yes I'm trying to figure out if to say no we're not okay with what theyre suggesting. And footing the bill or asking other friends.

Is what they're suggesting fair is what im trying to establish.

If it were me I would just expect everyone to pay a third. If they want a night deducted, they should leave 10am Saturday, and they should clean their room beforehand.

No I don't think tis fair what they've suggested. Perhaps ask someone else? I hate this kind of thing and stopped sharing cottages and holidays years ago because of it!

YABU to be planning to go away with people who are being so ridiculous about splitting the cost….it should have been (said gently) ‘this is the cost for the weekend no matter how many nights you stay”

If you find someone to take the other night, you’re going to get in about people debating what they should pay towards food and drink etc, who’s going to be changing the beds etc

Have shared them yes.

Its 740 for the trip.
We did it so it was 124ish for me and my partner.
110 for each other person ie 220 per couple if they wanted to come.

As we organised it and chose without consulting. A bit of a panic book because something became available.
And because it would be nice to have them there.
Ie we organised it so thought its nice to subsidise a bit what everyone else would pay.
But yeah. They then chose not to stay the full time.
Its up to them if they want to take annual leave or not. And they chose not.
Fair enough.

I just think if they're quibbling over this now, it won't improve once you're there and all living on top of each other , discussing who bought the marmalade or dishwasher tablets.

You said it in your opening post, OP, there was no group consensus for this cottage to actually be booked. All of the discussions about prices and how much for each couple would surely have been done beforehand? It wasn't.

Also, your wording that you 'invited' other couples to come makes it sound as if you were paying for the cottage and kindly offering the extra space to others? Again, no real agreement made.

Are the bedrooms equal? Was anything agreed in terms of dates of booking this cottage?

From what you've posted, I think you will have to stump up the extra costs yourself since it's non-refundable. That was such a risky premise without everybody involved being crystal clear and in agreement.

The thing is I am conflicted because i dont feel happy about what theyre offering. Ie to me we'd be paying 210 and them 80

And at that point i feel like almost bitter?
So would rather ask other friends or pay for it ourselves.

But yeah its more the question is that gut feeling I have kind of wrong? Or fair/ justified.

Its this thing where there is already a preset cost. And they think its per night but theyre going to use it during the Sunday.
:s

When we share accommodation it is always split absolutely fairly noone trying to rip off others and draw lots for rooms so fair if of different size or quality. Be clear it’s for the whole amount or will invite others. Keep it simple.

This.

If you have other people who would happily fill those spaces, I would say it's all or nothing really.

Thanks for replying.
Your comment is really interesting. But I'd like to know what you mean?
Ie if you dont think what i have suggested or said or feel is okay.
Or if the other couple.

Ie how do you think its fair to handle this?

Could you have booked it for just two nights? Was that an option for this cottage? Could you say “we can change the whole booking to two nights only but we’ll have to get up early on the Sunday to leave before 10”.
Or if it wasn’t possible to book it for just two nights then say that, it’s a flat minimum cost.

Your Maths was wrong to start with which is not helping - £110 each for all of the others each leaves you and your partner paying £150 each - not £124.

£100 each for the others, leaves you and your partner paying £170 each.

£80 each for the others, leaves you and your partner paying £210 each.

Good luck!! (tell your partner to sort it out as it's his relative!)

Total cost is £740 whether you stay one hour or the whole weekend.. booked in a panic as there was no other accommodation ... however, you extended the invitation without checking how much the other people were willing to pay.

Tricky one really, as you had already booked the cottage without agreeing, then I can see where they might be coming from. On the other hand, it's not like a hotel where you can cancel one room, them wanting to pay less directly affects how much you have to pay.

If you have other people you could have asked, and you think they'd be likely to come, then I'd just go back to them and say "it's £110 per person for however long you stay. If you don't want come at all, I understand".

Nice maths!
Yeah its only one couple have kicked a fuss about cost.
But i dont want to charge one couple less or more than the other.
Because that's not fair.

It would be we pay about 210 each ie 420 my partner and i.

And they pay 80 each or 160 per couple.

160:420 does not seem fair. When theyre staying 2/3 of the time. And will be using the place on the Sunday as well. Just not the night.

But maybe that is what is fair.
Thats kind of the question.

Its that thing where i dont think it seems fair and so i think id have either a bad feeling about it over the weekend.
Or we ask other friends.
Or just pay the whole lot.

Well paying for it yourselves will leave you paying £370 each - so that will definitely leave you worse off!!

Do you have other friends who would come and pay and maybe even bring the couple with no car? If you did that, the £80 might not be such good friends any more.. on the other hand, if they stick to their £80 suggestion, you might not feel that warmly towards them anyway..

There is
A kingsize room
A double room
Two singles.

My partner an I said wed take the singles as we booked it.
To try and be nice.
And we said wed pay more, because we booked it without you know having a group consensus on the place.
And then asked if they'd come.

Weve been talking about going for maybe 4-6 months before booking.
Just not solidified details.

Thanks.
There was no minimum stay. But we needed it to be for the three days.

Yes they will no doubt hang around most of Sunday.

Easiest option would be (if possible) to amend the booking to two nights, if that's cheaper

But some places charge the same for a 2 or 3 night booking anyway, in which case it's easier to say to them that the accommodation cost should be split equally