Grey area of group holiday finances

[Lalalalala555]

Hey.
Looking to see what is considered 'fair' from external perspective.

Ive gota holiday cottage booked for three nights. Fr Sa Su.
Invited friends (two couples).
It sleeps 6.
So theres me and my partner, and then two other couples invited.

We posted in a group chat saying how much it would be each if they wanted to come.
We have done it so that its a set amount, as the cost of the cottage is fixed as booked already and non refundable.

We said it would be 110 each for them.
For my partner and i we decided we would pay a bit more (124).

After posting in the group, one of the other couples want to pay less as they dont want to stay the third night.
They want to pay 2/3 of the cost of 1/6 of the total (if that makes sense).

Its tricky for what is fair. As if they pay 80 instead each, then it means its 200+ each for my partner and I.

Its this wanting to pay for how much someone will be present at the property vs there is already a fixed cost.

Obviously it benefits them to pay less. And us if they pay more.

I don't feel its entirely fair that we would have to pay 3* the amount they pay, for choosing to stay an extra night.
They also will benefit from not having to check out at 10am on the Sunday, which would be the case should the cottage have been booked fri and sat only.

There was no clear consultation in making the booking, we did it after having had a few casual chats about the weekend but not with group consensus. As we are attending an event and the local accommodation had sold out. This one place came up months after so we just booked it.
Hence why we offered it for being cheaper for them.
We didnt know how long they would stay, but they had the option to decide what works best.

Thanks!

I hope dh goes round and posts it all in pennies through their letterbox...

They still pay 1/3 infact more as they getting out of the cleaning on Sunday. Cfs.

In fairness op after reading all your updates, the only reason you wanted the extra night was because you two wanted it, the others couldn’t stay the full 3 nights anyway and wouldn’t have booked for that if you hadn’t needed it, so I think when working out the extra cost you should have made yourselves responsible for the extra night cost, or more of a proportion that £8.

there is definitely two sides to this and you should have agreed who paid what before you booked it, not just assume everyone would be okay paying for 3 nights when they can all only stay 2.

if I had access for the whole of Sunday the extra cost wouldn’t bother me personally but the fact that you’ve assumed they would subsidise your extra night is quite cheeky of you, so fair play that they’ve called you out on it and decided not to come.

Ah that's interesting thanks.

Yeah it was we booked it for three nights. It was three or four months in advance.

The offer is come if you want. It's x amount pp.

It wasnt hey we booked this thing without consulting you on precise details and now you have to come and pay.

Its more like its a choice for them but heres the price if you are keen.

They will be using it the Sunday.
They also had the choice to stay Sunday night. Ie its up to them if they want to take Monday off and use it for the full time. Or stay into the evening on Sunday and use it as a base.

Also the cost for the third night on the Sunday was cheaper, and the cottage has two fixed costs of about 150.

And if they choose not to stay its not like the room will be filled by someone else on the third night.
And the cottage offers no lower occupancy reduction.

AND. My partner and i had said how much it would be pp.
Ie if one couple didnt come, the other couple coming have their assess covered in the sense theyre not being asked to cover for if there arent 6 people coming.

Which tbh i think is nice and decent of us to do.

If it was a hotel they wouldn’t have to pay but the cost per room would be higher.

as it’s a cottage they should pay 1/3.

maybe say that you e checked & unfortunately no discount is available for not utilising one bedroom for one night so there is no way to remove this cost from them, unless they know someone that would like to make use of the room and repay them.

it sounds ridiculous that they would expect you & the other couple to pay more for the last night.

@sandyhappypeople it's a 3-night booking and the cost is x. Everyone is free to choose whether they want to come or not, no pressure. But there isn't an option to pick and choose which bit you want to come for and how much you want to pay because the cost is fixed.

If CF couple don't want to pay x, that's fine. They can sort out their own accommodation, or just not come – which is what they've decided to do.

OP and her DH haven't been 'called out' on anything, they are and always were prepared to pay the whole amount if they had to; they are the ones doing the subsidising (paying more, taking the worst room), not the CF couple. The CF couple have thrown a hissy fit and are no longer going on the weekend break or to the event. They are the only ones missing out here.

I know what you mean, and i see your point, but they didn't really have a choice to stay three nights, as they could only stay two and the others by association could only stay two as well, so if you were to have pre arranged it all together, they would only have wanted to stay the Saturday and Sunday.

I do organising like this for groups within my family and it insanely difficult to organise more than 2 groups, especially when everyone has different requirements and some are more bloody awkward than others.

I think if they were enjoying the facilities on the sunday they should have paid up personally as it's no really worth arguing about, but I can understand them feeling resentful that they are subsidising the part of the holiday that they can't stay for .

It's like booking somewhere for a week and asking the other two couples who can only stay the weekend to pay equal amounts as you for the whole week, saying well you could stay for the full week! (even though they can't for whatever reason) at some point you've got to only expect people to pay for what they can use otherwise they ARE paying for your part of the holiday.

In the interest of fairness the best way to have done it would be to ascertain when the other couples would be leaving, and unless it was 10am on sunday then they need to pay the day portion of the extra night but not the overnight, essentially them paying 2.5 days

Total holiday cost: £740
(weekend only cost at a guess) £600?

So £200 per couple for the weekend split equally.
YOU pay half of the extra night £70
each couple paid quarter of the extra cost for using the accommodation on the sunday daytime so £35 each couple

if they want to go on Sunday morning:
You guys £340 (all three nights)
each couple £200 (two nights)

If the want to go on the Sunday evening
So you guys £270 (all three nights)
couple one £235 (two and a half nights)

TO BE CLEAR: I would do this if I needed to for people being pedantic, but I would never want to go away with them again!!

The thing is, its a choice if they want to say yes or no.
Ie if you invite someone to a group day out at paintball and say its x pp if you want to come. The booking is made already and paid for and its upto people being invited to say yes sounds great. Or no thanks.

And then someone who originally said yes and turns round.
Actually, I've decided i only want to use 2/3 of the pain balls. Or I have decided to leave half way through.
Therefore i only want to pay half of what i agreed to and was told the cost pp was. Which consequently means everyone else would have to cover the bit they decide they dont want to pay.

Its like going to a restaurant ordering a pizza. And then asking for a partial refund because you decide you only want to eat 2/3.

Maybe that helps explain it.

They have the freedom of choice to say yes we'd love to come.
Or no, we don't.
They also have the choice to decide when to leave. They can make use of the access if they want to. Or not. They could just stay one night.

And with your maths we even did offer that. Ie searched did per couple night.
So 2/7,2/7,3/7.
So it was fair.
But even then they said no and said it wasn't.

I made the decision that I'm not comfortable with them paying 160 : us paying 420. As that wasn't the initial offer. And it isnt a fair ratio to me.

For them that is fair. And because they couldn't get their way they decided not to come.

In the meantime. Nice couple are coming. Are happy. Are excited. We're excited. They said they'll hire a car.
And they're okay with other people potentially filling third room.

It has been a headache dealing with it. So learnt from this not to have plan dependencies with them going forwards. Ie own space and finances no room to have debates because dont allow chance for there to be any room for differences of opinion.

Lol

You made the offer laying out the price of the deal clearly
They accepted the deal with no conditions.
All good
But then, later on, they reneged on the deal they had previously accepted. … doesn’t matter what their reason was, it’s irrelevant. They let you know this by paying a shortfall on the previously accepted cost.
You stood your ground, quite rightly.
So they refused to come.

Looks to me that they were looking for an argument. The amount they were quibbling about given they had already accepted the price stated, and given they expected to stay all day Sunday, and given they would be doing no cleaning, was negligible.

Good you have sorted it OP.
Don’t worry about future interactions with them at family events. You can confidently stand your ground because not only were you in the right, you were actually being generous.

totally agree, that's how it should work, just curious in this case why they backtracked on it? They obviously said yes, agreed the price, but then at some point decided they didn't want to pay that much, did they know it was three days from the start, or did they think it was the 'weekend' then realise that they were paying for the full three nights when they only could stay 2?

they might be really arseholey people but it just seems so weird, to agree then change their minds?

What's happening on the Sunday? Why are you so sure they wouldn't be leaving at 10 am?

I think the "wow" is the complete lack of planning and communication. If you want to organise a holiday for other people, you have to be very clear you all agree on cost, where you are staying and for how long you are staying, and what you'll be doing while away. It never turns out well when one couple charges ahead and makes all the deicsions and bookings and then decides what other people will pay - when the other people have had no input into the decision making.

For instance - if one couple had told you they could only be away for Fri and Saturday night, because they couldn't take a day's leave on Monday - would you just have arranged a 2-night weekend for everyone?

Poor planning and communication leads to lots of misunderstandings. And so it turns out, the end of friendships.

I think you've misunderstood the kind of grounds of what's going on.

If your friends gauge interest to see if you would be interested to go on a trip with them and another mutual couple.
And everyone says yes.

Then. Following that.
If you get invited to go on a trip with your friends. And they invite you and say if you'd like to come it's this much. Weve got a cottage booked for these dates. Let us know if you'd be keen to join. Then.. Thats where were at.

Yes they knew from the start.
My oh did a post in a group chat saying hey we've booked a place these dates.
Its this much pp, if you'd like to join.
Would be great to see everyone. But no pressure either way.

So I gueds they just decided what they wanted to pay and tried to see if that would fly.

But you didn't check if they wanted to stay for those particular 3 nights before booking? That's always going to wind people up if you then present them with a bill for it.

They weren’t presented with a bill, they were presented with an option and a price. If the price is too high the correct response I was “well done for finding something and thanks for thinking of us but we’ve decided to sit this one out - hope you have a great time though (share pics!)”.

job done.

they put it in the group chat though didn't they? how did they word it?

Yes but.

1. they didnt have to say yes
2. they could have chosen to stay for that full amount of time. It is upto them to come. Upto them if they want to leave early

Also

• need accommodation on the Sunday day time
• it is cheaper to add a third day/night as booking fee and owner fee is set and the extra day cost also less
• in costs we already offered less cost for everyone else than us (to the point where it did account for if people chose to stay only two nights is 2/7:3/7
• also they dont have to pay extra if other people dont show up

I.e. If only one person said yes would still have been the same price.

I think I'm going to try not to rub it in their faces intentionally.

and these are…friends??

They are utter cunts.

And you are incredibly reasonable OP, not just with them but with the muppets on this thread who can't read and keep coming out with nonsensical claims like you booked and then told them what they were expected to pay. No you didn't! You booked for yourselves then told them the price if they wanted to join.

I'm interested to hear how the weekend goes with nice couple. I have no doubt you will end up great friends and after a few drinks they will spill lots of similar examples of horrible couple pulling similar stunts. Your poor oh as he's a sibling.

Btw, I've joined two group holidays arranged by somebody else and only stayed for 2/3 nights. It didn't occur to me or anyone that the rest of the group would pay for my room on the last night.

They are utter cunts.

do you really think that @Stupidliefromfriend ?!

@OldPerson nobody is 'deciding what other people will pay' are they? OP and her DH have told everyone else what the cost is IF they want to come. ie 'we have booked this accommodation and the cost is x. Please let us know if you would like one of the rooms.' That doesn't imply any pressure. Other people are perfectly at liberty to say that that is more than they want to pay (which is exactly what one couple has said) and turn down the offer.

OP is quite happy with them deciding not to come, so there's no need for any drama. But what the other couple can't say 'oh we'd love to come but we are only going to pay x minus y'. That offer is not on the table and it's not a negotiation because the cost is fixed.

Actually someone did decide what other people would pay. Asshole couple decided to sneakily leave OP and partner paying more when they reneged on the completely voluntary agreement and only paid some of their portion.