Grandparents keep giving toddler milky tea

[MrsTrue]

So for the third (maybe fourth) time me and DH have picked up our DD from grandparents around 6-7pm after they've had her for a few hours to be told she's had 'milky tea'. She's 21 months old.

We don't give her any caffeine at all and has asked them 3 times not to do it, we even offered bring round decaf tea bags for them as we drink decaf at home.

DH picked her up earlier to be told she had it again today. I'm really annoyed it's happened again and feel it's impacting her sleep. Apparently it's so weak ot wouldn't have an impact (it's the teabag they've used dipped in water and a splash of milk).

Am I right to be annoyed, or overreacting?

Quite right! milky tea (call it toddler tea in our house) is known to be a gateway drug to heroin.

I wouldn't give my grandchildren anything their parents had asked me not to.

I may not agree with their decision but I would respect it.

No issue

I'd rather mine had the miniscule amount of caffeine than give decaffeinated unless I was sure the method of decaffeination didn't involve anything potentially harmful.

I absolutely don't think this is ok. Its caffeine, why not just warm milk?

Tea is a perfectly natural healthy product.......unlike all the ultra processed artificial sweetened squashes given to toddlers! Do you know how they remove the caffeine........chemicals🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I has milky weak tea as a very young child- virtually weaned on it.
So it may be a generation thing.
I didnt give tea to my own DC. However decaff teabags are a good shout.

Honestly, it wouldn't bother me. Perhaps she just wants to try some because her grandparents are having it? There isn't a lot of caffeine in tea anyway and even less if it's weak.

I can remember drinking tea from a similar age - probably a cup a day (as in a small, toddler cup!), once I got older, around 9/10 I drank more tea. I'm 37 with no ill effects and still a tea lover.

Could be worse - my mum's Nana only ever drunk strong, black coffee. Mum spent a lot of time with her and started drinking coffee the same way fairly young (probably 11/12). All her life since, she has drunk strong, black coffee with no sugar (eew) with no ill effects (she is 62 now).

Overreacting - sorry. My toddler loves it also.

I would be annoyed. you've asked them not to, they should respect that

I was going to suggest Rooibos here!

I'd be annoyed they haven't just followed a simple request about your preference (and the preference of their son). It's not like you're asking them to inconvenience themselves.
I think it's a bit rude to flatly refuse an extremely simple request from a toddler's parents.

But I don't drink tea, so never have any situation where I might consider giving it to my children, so not sure how much you're overreacting about it.

I agree with this ^
there was absolutely no need for giving her milky tea however weak it was. OP didn’t ask them for any complicated or expensive solutions. They could give her water or milk - simple.

Maybe I’m projecting from my own delightful in laws but mine had equal disregard for my rules on car seats, food before 6 months, sips of alcohol etc. strange they never were left alone with my children.

My initial thought was it's tea not crack. As a PP stated, there's caffeine hidden in loads of stuff so I'd be surprised if you've managed to avoid it completely.
DD has always loved a cuppa, she drinks enough to keep Yorkshire Tea in business, I'd be more concerned if they were adding sugar to it...

Honestly.... This was a hill I was going to die in... 15yrs ago... I was a young mum and for some reason I hated the thought of my son being given caffeine.. Although I now know it's literally less than a choc biscuit and actually I give my nephew a cup (dipped in a Nd out t bag no sugar and very milky... In his "cup") and he loves it he sits up at the table and drinks his "tea".... Basically from somebody who was going nose to nose with in laws regarding tea.... Let it go... Life's too short and my lad is now 6ft 2inch and misses his "cuppa cupppppa flick kettle tea with nannna" as we lost her a few years ago but the memories of inclusion still remain xxx

Ummm, there's water?

As long as they're not sweetening it with sugar (honey would be less harmful for her teeth) then I wouldn't worry too much about one cup.

In what way is honey less harmful to teeth than sugar? 🤔

Ask them to do warm milk instead?

😂

I wouldn’t be annoyed about the tea as such but I would be annoyed that they’re going against you when you’ve asked them not to.

Milky tea could be the safest, best drink for toddler and boost brain power by 100 % and op is misguided.

It's not about tea. It's about why two people are not only disregarding a simple instruction they are merrily rubbing their faces in it.
. It sounds like a power play to me and not normal

My ds's grandparent decided that he needed weak coffee at that age. To be honest, I was more pissed that she put sugar in it. When I asked her why, she said he won't drink it otherwise. I'm like, don't give it to him then

Well, about the tea you are WAY over reacting. It's barely tea, with milk. Theres no way something that insipid is going to be impacting her sleep.

but if you've asked them not to, then they shouldn't.

what I'm most confused about though is why they tell you.

Dgs used to love a cup of tea with me. It wasn't so much the tea he liked it was the occasion of it all. He has his own tea cup, I'd put out a plate of biscuits, I'd use the teapot and would pour his straight away so hardly any tea and we would sit at the table with a tea and biscuits and just chat. We had some lovely chats, he's in reception now so don't get so many opportunities these days although he sometimes has a cuppa with dd.