For not letting my son go on holiday abroad with his best friend and his family?

[TheAvidPlumRobin]

My son (turning 15 in the summer) and this boy have been best friends for almost a year now. I'm talking two peas in a pod best friends. They're in the same school, but the bestie is 2 years older. They hang out and chat every single day. In my opinion, they have a bit of a weird dynamic because my son sees / treats him like a mentor, and the best friend is the one who takes the lead; but that's beside the point.

The best friend is rich. He's going with his family to the Seychelles (2 weeks) for Easter. Surprisingly, he invited my son (who thought he was just joking at first). Either way, the boy's parents contacted me and we met up to talk. They basically told me that they'll pay for everything (accommodation, flights, food, activities, souvenirs, etc.), and they'd love to have my son come along with them. They said that I don't have to worry about safety and such because the boys are well behaved, and they're eagle-eyed. I said I need some time to think it though.

My husband thinks it's a great opportunity since we obviously couldn't afford such a trip, plus the family has a great reputation. I'm not so sure though. Firstly, I feel uncomfortable at the thought of my son becoming a charity case. Secondly, the Seychelles is very far away, and my son has never travelled that far before. My son is very upset with the no answer, and my husband also believes I'm being unreasonable and weird about this.

I still have some time to change my mind though. I do have some doubts about my decision honestly.

This.. also just think about the scenario if you were able to treat your sons friend to such a holiday no doubt you would?

We paid a few times over the years for holidays for our children’s friends, made it easier, gave them constant companionship 😃

I’m an only child and my parents took my best friend on holiday with us from when I was 15. She wasn’t charity case they did it for me. I’m aware how privileged I am that my parents were able to do that. Let him go don’t rob him with this chance to enjoy travel with his friend.

@TheAvidPlumRobin Wow! What a lovely chance!
Definitely let him go. He will have a lovely time. Edit: they are doing it to keep their son happy, as PP above says...NOT because they see your son as a kid who needs a free holiday!

lots of parents of teenagers take a friend on holidays so they can entertain themselves.

My parents usually invited my cousin or my best friend. even if it was just a visiting my family in england.

He is not a charity case at all, its as much for their son as it is yours.

This!

Not a chance would I let a dc go on holiday with someone he's known for a year and who is older than him!

I can't believe all those seal claping and encouraging this. A week in Spain with someone he's been friends with for years, fine. This? No.

You're being totally unreasonable.

It shows how much you care about your son that you are considering it carefully. I was an only child myself and had the chance to go to America with a friend and her family and had a wonderful time (I was about the same age). I'm sure my Mum worried about me and found it odd me being away but I'm grateful she allowed it.

I also had friend of mine come away with my family a couple of times and it was great having some younger company.

Isn't Easter like next week?

Wow he will be 15 at the time not 5.

Why on earth would you deprive him of this amazing opportunity that you can't provide.

Charity case, it seems like you are jealous of their money.

The parents have contacted you about the holiday and you've met them.

They clearly would like their son to have a friend on holiday which will make it a holiday for all of them.

It will also be a nice holiday for your son.

Let him go. Set some ground rules with the parents if you want too such as contacting you when he arrives at the hotel / villa.

If you think it isn't a good idea now then how will you feel when you know he's gone through customs etc etc.
i wouldn't have let my son go
Plus wouldn't you have to do a letter to say that this family can take him away as they invariably won't have the same surname as your kid. (And if they did then that would be mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

YABU. We took a friend of mine on holiday when we were younger than 15 and it was completely fine. Holidays don't magically become more unsafe with someone else's family. I'm not sure my friend's parents had even met mine before agreeing - they'd maybe spoken on the phone (obviously they then spoke to make the arrangements).

When DH was 15 his best friend was 17. They both competed in a sport that few of their friends did, at least not at their level, and DH and the other boys dad shared the driving to competitions which could be 2-3 hours away.

Let him go, I'm very cautious about these sort of things and it's not charity they want company for their son your son will enjoy it

All those who have taken friends for their kids-what was the age difference?

Was there a "weird dynamic"?

Good grief, please let him go.

I can well understand why you would have reservations OP. It's a very uncomfortable position to put someone in, and does create a weird power imbalance in a friendship when one family is bankrolling something like this, especially given the differences in ages.

I would probably let him go because ultimately not allowing him to do so is going to disappoint him so much, but do my upmost to try cover at least some of the cost of spending money or something like that.

Obviously matters a lot to you the order the words are put in. I still see my mum as having disordered eating but that’s not the point of this thread. 👍

@willWillSmithsmith

Obviously matters a lot to you the order the words are put in. I still see my mum as having disordered eating but that’s not the point of this thread. 👍

Please don't misunderstand me. It makes NO difference. But you are right; not the point of the thread.

Sorry for the derail OP.

Unless you think your child can’t be trusted to behave in an appropriate way, I would let him go. It is a bit mean if you not to.

There are some strange people on here. Implications of grooming and other weird suggestions ffs.

They sound like two sensible boys with shared interests and a good solid friendship. I was an only child and my best friend was a couple of years younger than me and an only too.

Let him go on the bloody holiday.

I would make sure that you do have the financial capacity to fly him back if yo need to and ensure he feels confident about saying no to things or feeling tired, scared, unwell etc.

But it's not an unusual occurrence on the face of it.

We're not British. Our Easter is on 5 May, and school Easter break is from April 27 to 7 May. The week before and after the break are unofficially part of the break as well (the one before because the teachers have already finished the curriculum, and the week after because it starts on a Wednesday and it just has organizational activities).

I would let him go. It is an amazing opportunity and to travel and see as much of the world as possible is a gift.
I don't think it is charity at all. The boy's parents want your son to go because they know he will enjoy the holiday more with a friend there, so if it is not your son it may be someone else instead. They wouldn't have offered if they didn't want to pay.

We took a friend of mine to Disney World, Florida about the same age. My Mum paid for everything, though she bought some spending money in the end.

It was company for me, and not seen as charity at all!