For not letting my son go on holiday abroad with his best friend and his family?

[TheAvidPlumRobin]

My son (turning 15 in the summer) and this boy have been best friends for almost a year now. I'm talking two peas in a pod best friends. They're in the same school, but the bestie is 2 years older. They hang out and chat every single day. In my opinion, they have a bit of a weird dynamic because my son sees / treats him like a mentor, and the best friend is the one who takes the lead; but that's beside the point.

The best friend is rich. He's going with his family to the Seychelles (2 weeks) for Easter. Surprisingly, he invited my son (who thought he was just joking at first). Either way, the boy's parents contacted me and we met up to talk. They basically told me that they'll pay for everything (accommodation, flights, food, activities, souvenirs, etc.), and they'd love to have my son come along with them. They said that I don't have to worry about safety and such because the boys are well behaved, and they're eagle-eyed. I said I need some time to think it though.

My husband thinks it's a great opportunity since we obviously couldn't afford such a trip, plus the family has a great reputation. I'm not so sure though. Firstly, I feel uncomfortable at the thought of my son becoming a charity case. Secondly, the Seychelles is very far away, and my son has never travelled that far before. My son is very upset with the no answer, and my husband also believes I'm being unreasonable and weird about this.

I still have some time to change my mind though. I do have some doubts about my decision honestly.

I really agree with this. Let him go.

People being wilfully obtuse in order to blag a free holiday/get rid of their kid for two weeks/risking DS "resenting" the OP when he grows up, the list goes on...Like the Seychelles are just round the corner 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's two weeks on the other side of the world, not a weekend in the Lake District, ffs.

Firstly, I feel uncomfortable at the thought of my son becoming a charity case. Secondly, the Seychelles is very far away, and my son has never travelled that far before.

You feeling uncomfortable is not a valid reason for depriving your son of this opportunity.

Your second reason is just weird. I assume that the first time you took your son to the next town he had never travelled that far before. Ditto if you have travelled to a big city, or a coastal resort, or a holiday in Europe. People are always travelling distances they haven't travelled before, it's not a valid reason to refuse to do it. I travelled a greater distance that that when I was 2, I survived.

It could easily turn into a nightmare.
Holidays do you know. Bad enough with your own family but that far with not family.
And he may not get to go to the seychelles ever. So what. Doesnt mean going on this trip is the right thing either.
Mine would not be going.
Naff all to do with money either.

I'm with the 92% YABU. Let him go! What an amazing opportunity for him!

They want some company for their son and it also means they can have a few hours on their own as the boys will keep each other company. If you don't let him go he will never forgive you, ever. Why would you be so cruel ?

Anything in life could turn into a nightmare.

It could also easily be brilliant and a life-changing experience for him.

Why leap to the negative outcome first? Especially when it's not actually the likely one?

The Seychelles is a tried and trusted destination. OP has said nothing negative about the family or the friendship. I can't comprehend the "absolutely not" mindset. Life is about trying new things.

Don't let a chip on your shoulder ruin this once in a lifetime experience for your son. If I was your child and you forbid me from going I would hang on to that for a very long time.

I'm baffled at all let him go comments. :D

Honestly, don't let him go. It's so far away and you are not close to the parents!

You will also feel like you owe them even if everything is OK.

I will be a definite no to this too many issues I have with the situation.

Also to the people suggesting they are more than friends... what does it matter???

And i cant comprehend people leaving their 15yr old head off to the seychelles with people i barely know.
People can give all the oh but its so amazing bullshit all they like. Just cos u can doesnt mean you should.
And in this case he wldnt be going.
Its absolutely the wrong thing to do.

@Doteycat that is not the way to raise teenagers. You do not know teenagers parents well, because you do not do playdates with parents present, and your DCs friends do not tend to be the DCs of your friends. You have to judge if they seem reasonable parents based on what you know.
And you should take up opportunities when they present. It is a perfectly ordinary safe holiday destination. They are not talking about taking him to Haiti or to climb Everest. They will swim, lie on the beach, etc.
The OP is going to have a rocky relationship with her DC if she stops him going on this perfectly normal holiday.

And it is perfectly normal for parents of teenagers to take a friend all paid on trips or holidays. Because 15 year olds on family trips or holidays without a friend can be a nightmare. They want to do this so they all have a better holiday. It is not charity.

We also did this over many years - paid for friends to join us. I hoped it didn’t seem weird - we just wanted the kids to have a great time. They always did!

You havent a clue @ThisGreyPoster
Ive reared 3 to their 20s and they are fabulous.
I know whats right and whats wrong when it comes to teenagers and friendships.
Mine had boundaries when it came to this rubbish and we have extremley good relationships.
Its because ive reared 3 that i can categorically state that letting him go is the wrong thing to do.

We've taken DC friends to Thailand and other far away places. We also lived overseas for many years whilst DC were at Boarding school and they often brought friends out for holidays.
Let him go. Make sure he keeps in touch. There will be wifi in the resort.
Give him money for pocket money and let him enjoy the experience.

I certainly would. This is about the OP's ego, nothing else. Call them up immediately and say that your son would love to go.

He’ll resent you bitterly if you don’t let him go - and he’ll be justified.

My sister is a bit younger than me and I remember my parents often taking another kid her age away with us as a playmate. Everyone had a better time for it!

We are not wealthy but have taken DC friends and girlfriends on holiday many times. I always insist on paying and the friend just needs pocket money.
My DC have been invited away with the odd friend as well, usually only children.
Friends with only children often do this as it really improves the holiday experience for everyone, parents and child.
Let him go.

He will in his arse.
He will grow up and realise his mother did what was right for him.

Yabu- it's a wonderful opportunity for him and one that he might not get again. He will make life long memories. Set some strong rules and have good travel insurance in place.

Having a friend for an only child is asking a favour, not offering charity.

Exactly- cheaper than a nanny

I have taken DD friend on several foreign holidays, we have had great times. I started small though, sleepovers, local spa weekends, UK caravans for a week, before a big overseas trip.

However, we took my nephew’s friend to Florida once (12 years old but streetwise for age). It was awful trying to keep him safe, and we never took him again.

Don't be selfish, let him go. It will be the holiday he'll remember for years, or is that what you are afraid of?