Dh just called me a fat fuck

[Onlybbtolookforwardto]

He was stood a bit away and looking at me in such an awful way and mouthed it as Dd was in the room, he’ll likely deny he said it.
This was because I’m ill at the moment and he took Dd to the park, he didn’t offer this and seemed moody about this too.
They were gone a good few hours and when they arrived back, he stormed in and Dd looked sad and cuddled me. I asked what was wrong and Dh launched into a tirade about how Dd went on a bouncy castle and wouldn’t get off and asked for a toy and when Dh said no, she started shouting how he was a bad daddy etc etc (she’s going through a stage of saying this to us, me too when angry or saying we’re not coming to her party) He was really angry and looking at me and gesturing and saying ‘She can’t act like this!’ Obviously waiting for me to step in and tell her off too. I would have if he’d just give me a second/calm down and bearing in mind I don’t feel well either. He then said he was exhausted…after 4 hours at a park (nothing to do with being at his friends until 1.30 am)
I said ‘Why are you so angry?’
He went to walk out of the back patio and said the above, with a nasty look on his face.

I am so sorry OP. No one should be talking to you like that. And he needs to be more involved as a father. Stick to your guns about that.

I absolutely wouldn’t put up with this from anyone, let alone my husband.

you're not in a healthy relationship.
you should value your own self worth more and not put up with this, what is your exit strategy?

He's abusive to you and probably to your daughter as well.

Are you 100% sure this is what he mouthed?

Not “fuck off?”

I only ask because DH mouthed something to me a couple of weeks ago (so the kids didn’t hear) and I completely misunderstood him.

I believe you - just ignore him and if he doesn’t apologise or buck his ideas up - tell him to go start a different household

Let me assemble my red flags….

He’s in a mood because you’re ill and he had to parent today. Never be ill again, how dare you.

It’s all your fault basically (in his eyes!) do not have another child with him.

He’s a cunt. Put up, suck it up or get out.

Does he have form for this? If this is who you are married to, then set very firm boundaries now or be prepared to cut your losses. This is not an ok way to live. Best wishes.

Did you thank him for taking her out fir 4 hours so you could rest?

@ilovebreadsauce Are you serious?

I think he needs to control his temper. What an awful man, why would he expect you to have a go at her after he already did and upset your daughter, he thought it would be acceptable for you to have a go at her too and upset her futher???? What a horrible little man he is.

He sounds like he's the one behaving like a child. I'm so sorry he said that. It's not acceptable behaviour. It sounds like he needs some time out of the family to get himself together - he sounds super stressed (that's a generous reading of it, assuming he's not also abusive in other ways). Is there any way you can meet him as someone who's losing the plot a bit and acting out, and seek a way to help him sort his head and behaviour out? How old is your kid? it sounds really hard for her to be around him, tbh.

I wonder why your daughter is going through an ‘angry’ phase with an example like this from her father!

He’s a dick, a rude and abusive one!

@ilovebreadsauce he took his daughter out. His daughter! Why should op thank him and why does that make it ok to insult his partner?

Yet another useless husband and father thread. Good god. Why do women keep putting up with this shit? Get rid of it. It’s a complete waste of fucking space and will NOT change.

Are you the type of person who says your DH ‘babysits’ for you when looking after his own children?

Child raising isn’t only a woman/mothers job!

I'd acknowledge being grateful for some peace and quiet whilst Ill though

Why does he need to be thanked for looking after his own child?

I wouldn't put up with this kind of behaviour OP.

What are you talking about???? What has gender got to do with it? I would expect a thank you if I had taken my child to the oark alone fir 4 hours on my sunday to give dh a break

🤣 This must be a joke.

'That fuck'makes more sense surely. Ie 'our daughter' in response to you asking why he is so angry. Still entirely abhorrent but 'fat fuck' just makes no sense in the context. You need to find a way to move on from this awful relationship

He’d be getting no thank you from me, not coming in in that mood. Clearly he grudgingly took her and was just behaving like it was forced. Surely if your wife is ill you care and are kind to her and your child, you let mum rest and you have fun with your child. You don’t resent them for being a child, then call your wife names. Thank you indeed!!! He’s being a parent, no one thanks me for caring for my kids.

Perhaps it’s time you lost 12 stone or so (of DH).

Well that will teach you to not expect him to look after his own child again because that's what it's about. You won't ask him again because you'll be scared that he'll treat your dd like shit again and come back shouting and ranting. So it will have worked.
Apart from the fact that he's a horrible person who calls you names and shouts at your young child - why would you have joined in in telling your dd off he should have dealt with it at the time then thats the end of it.