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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh just called me a fat fuck

163 replies

Onlybbtolookforwardto · 17/03/2024 18:59

He was stood a bit away and looking at me in such an awful way and mouthed it as Dd was in the room, he’ll likely deny he said it.
This was because I’m ill at the moment and he took Dd to the park, he didn’t offer this and seemed moody about this too.
They were gone a good few hours and when they arrived back, he stormed in and Dd looked sad and cuddled me. I asked what was wrong and Dh launched into a tirade about how Dd went on a bouncy castle and wouldn’t get off and asked for a toy and when Dh said no, she started shouting how he was a bad daddy etc etc (she’s going through a stage of saying this to us, me too when angry or saying we’re not coming to her party) He was really angry and looking at me and gesturing and saying ‘She can’t act like this!’ Obviously waiting for me to step in and tell her off too. I would have if he’d just give me a second/calm down and bearing in mind I don’t feel well either. He then said he was exhausted…after 4 hours at a park (nothing to do with being at his friends until 1.30 am)
I said ‘Why are you so angry?’
He went to walk out of the back patio and said the above, with a nasty look on his face.

OP posts:
Herdingcatz · 17/03/2024 19:46

I’d be calling him “Single”. What a nasty prick

woahhhh · 17/03/2024 19:48

@ilovebreadsauce

What are you talking about???? What has gender got to do with it? I would expect a thank you if I had taken my child to the oark alone fir 4 hours on my sunday to give dh a break

I guess it depends on how things work in your house.
Thank you for vacuuming
Thank you for mopping the kitchen floor
Thank you for cleaning the loos
Thank you for sweeping up
Thank you for plumping the sofa cushions
Thank you for cleaning the bathroom
Thank you for making the bed
Thank you for washing the clothes
Thank you for hanging up clothes to dry
Thank you for transferring clothes into the tumble dryer
Thank you for reading to dc tonight
Thank you for cooking dinner for the family
Thank you for clearing the table
Thank you for doing the school run
Thank you for feeding the pets
Thank you for booking parents evening
Thank you for washing the dishes
......
......
Yeah. I guess if you communicate like this then I would expect thanks for taking my own child to the park.

If you don't communicate like this then what are you on about?

Starspangledrodeopony · 17/03/2024 19:48

ilovebreadsauce · 17/03/2024 19:22

What are you talking about???? What has gender got to do with it? I would expect a thank you if I had taken my child to the oark alone fir 4 hours on my sunday to give dh a break

I’m truly sorry that you have such low standards. Thoughts and prayers.

woahhhh · 17/03/2024 19:49

@ilovebreadsauce
OPs dh called her a FAT FUCK and you want to know if she thanked him for parenting his child?
So if she didn't you think it's appropriate to be called a FAT FUCK?

Wow. Raise the bar. If this is what you accept in your marriage I feel sorry for you.

pomers · 17/03/2024 19:49

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 17/03/2024 19:07

Let me assemble my red flags….

He’s in a mood because you’re ill and he had to parent today. Never be ill again, how dare you.

It’s all your fault basically (in his eyes!) do not have another child with him.

He’s a cunt. Put up, suck it up or get out.

This. Please leave this horrible man

TitaniasAss · 17/03/2024 19:50

ilovebreadsauce · 17/03/2024 19:09

Did you thank him for taking her out fir 4 hours so you could rest?

You must be on the wind up. I hope you are anyway.

Thedogscollar · 17/03/2024 19:58

woahhhh · 17/03/2024 19:48

@ilovebreadsauce

What are you talking about???? What has gender got to do with it? I would expect a thank you if I had taken my child to the oark alone fir 4 hours on my sunday to give dh a break

I guess it depends on how things work in your house.
Thank you for vacuuming
Thank you for mopping the kitchen floor
Thank you for cleaning the loos
Thank you for sweeping up
Thank you for plumping the sofa cushions
Thank you for cleaning the bathroom
Thank you for making the bed
Thank you for washing the clothes
Thank you for hanging up clothes to dry
Thank you for transferring clothes into the tumble dryer
Thank you for reading to dc tonight
Thank you for cooking dinner for the family
Thank you for clearing the table
Thank you for doing the school run
Thank you for feeding the pets
Thank you for booking parents evening
Thank you for washing the dishes
......
......
Yeah. I guess if you communicate like this then I would expect thanks for taking my own child to the park.

If you don't communicate like this then what are you on about?

This says it all. Thank you@woahhhh absolutely brilliant.

webster1987 · 17/03/2024 20:06

ilovebreadsauce · 17/03/2024 19:09

Did you thank him for taking her out fir 4 hours so you could rest?

Honestly, words can't even...

ClassicalChip · 17/03/2024 20:10

He’s a complete prick clearly.

Was it definitely fat fuck? Was it ‘for fuck’s sake’ or ‘what the fuck’ or ‘get to fuck’ etc?

Not that it’s any better!

di2004 · 17/03/2024 20:13

Thinking about you and your daughter - don't put up with this crap.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 17/03/2024 20:15

ilovebreadsauce · 17/03/2024 19:09

Did you thank him for taking her out fir 4 hours so you could rest?

Wtf thank him for parenting his child?
It's no more than he should be doing, and with better grace!!!!

HappyintheHills · 17/03/2024 20:26

Please stop questioning whether OP lip read correctly, he was in a foul mood and glared and even in most of the alternatives mouthed fuck.
Its clear his behaviour was unacceptable.
Most likely it’s not the first time and it’s affecting their DD.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 17/03/2024 20:28

Not someone you need to keep living with. I've been there, it's controlling, selfish resentful prick behaviour. Really bad modelling for your DD. You can still be happy after divorce.

Jowak1 · 17/03/2024 20:29

He should have been happy to take his own child out to the park so you can rest and get better!

WhatWhereWho · 17/03/2024 20:30

Is it the kind of thing he has said before or anything like it? Am not commenting on the wider issues at all but are you sure that's what was mouthed? I have mistaken what someone was mouthing before, it's easily done.

He does not sound pleasant and there are obviously other problems.

logisticallifeproblem · 17/03/2024 20:32

ilovebreadsauce · 17/03/2024 19:09

Did you thank him for taking her out fir 4 hours so you could rest?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

"Thank you for parenting your own child for 4 hours, oh wonderful husband. That must have been so terribly arduous for you. You are truly a hero amongst men."

WTAF.

I wonder if women get so readily thanked for their contributions to parenting???? Thought not.

whynotwhatknot · 17/03/2024 20:48

do women get tanks for lookling after mens dc's

didnt tink so

nasty prick

dapsnotplimsolls · 17/03/2024 20:54

Please post a pic of him so we can all admire his godlike stature.

Onlybbtolookforwardto · 17/03/2024 20:54

He said he said ‘For fucks sake’
I don’t believe him
Hasnt apologised and says I should have backed him up

OP posts:
WhatWhereWho · 17/03/2024 20:55

Onlybbtolookforwardto · 17/03/2024 20:54

He said he said ‘For fucks sake’
I don’t believe him
Hasnt apologised and says I should have backed him up

Has he called you that before?

Pinkmushrooms · 17/03/2024 20:58

MiltonNorthern · 17/03/2024 19:03

He's abusive to you and probably to your daughter as well.

This.

Onlybbtolookforwardto · 17/03/2024 21:01

@WhatWhereWho No, but I do need to lose weight, I was size 10 now 16

OP posts:
Patrickiscrazy · 17/03/2024 21:05

Daisybuttercup12345 · 17/03/2024 20:15

Wtf thank him for parenting his child?
It's no more than he should be doing, and with better grace!!!!

Actually, 😂 my husband and I often say
"Thank you for the dinner, washing up", thank you for driving a long journey", etc.
I guess like this I feel less like a maid and he like a chauffeur 🙄
However, being called nasty names is more than unacceptable.

PickAChew · 17/03/2024 21:05

ilovebreadsauce · 17/03/2024 19:09

Did you thank him for taking her out fir 4 hours so you could rest?

He was parenting (reluctantly) his own child, ffs.

WhatWhereWho · 17/03/2024 21:08

Onlybbtolookforwardto · 17/03/2024 21:01

@WhatWhereWho No, but I do need to lose weight, I was size 10 now 16

Again not excusing the wider behaviour and it sounds like he was out of order . Just wonder if he's not said it or stuff like it before why do you believe he's said it now? Also does he usually throw out insults and deny them?

You could be right none of us were there but equally could be wrong perhaps. Anyways hope you are OK and things work out for you.

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