To be fuming at my mum over birthday present?

[SilverSeat]

DDs birthday on Wednesday. My mum asked me ages ago what she wanted and I said “well all she keeps going on about is this princess castle so I’m getting her that”. My mum said “oh can I get her that? I don’t know what else to get her”. I said “it’s expensive though, £80” my mum said “oh that’s fine!”.

now my mum has form for buying the complete opposite of what you’ve told her so I showed her a picture of it, the make, where to buy it etc - she said that’s fine. I said “ok if you’re definitely getting her that exact castle (it had to be that one as her cousin has it and DD is obsessed with it, as I explained) I’ll get her the electric car”.

i bought the car £80. My mum called yesterday and said she’d got the castle - great. She then added “it was a bargain! It was only £25!” My heart sank … I said “it can’t have been, where did you get it from??” And she told me the name of this shop. I asked her to send me a photo?” So she did …

it’s the complete opposite of what I showed her. It’s a grey medieval castle with soldiers and cannons etc. I said “I told you it was the pink princess castle!” And she said “Her dolls will fit in it though”

FFS

DD thinks she’s getting the princess castle and is so excited, now I have to go out and buy the bloody thing after already buying the car. My mum is “upset” that I’m replacing her present. She used to do this kind of shit to me when I was a kid and I’m not allowing DD to go through it. She cocked up one of her Christmas presents in the same manner. AIBU to be really fucking annoyed and AIBU to replace the present?

Id rather she didn’t buy her a present at all then at least I’d know what to buy!!

So what if it’s stereotypical for a little girl to want something pink and girly. It’s what she was promised. I’m pretty sure that a little boy who’d asked for the grey, medieval fortress would be horrified to get the pink one.

The little girl wanted the pink one - that’s reason enough to buy her that one not a totally different, grey, military fortress.

As for price, the grandmother insisted on buying the castle, despite being told how much it was and that the mother was planning on buying it.

OP, I hope you have finally learnt your lesson now that she CANNOT be trusted! please don't trust her with anything else important in future, especially relating to your kids. I know it's hard to accept your parent isn't the person you want them to be, but sadly that is the situation you are in, so better to accept her for who she is rather than keep being disappointed :-(

In future, you should buy it on her behalf and ask for the money. She can then wrap it and give it to your daughter who'll be none the wiser.

Ask your mum to your DD money in future.

Unfortunately, there's no guarantee that this will have any better an outcome as it still needs the GM to comply with the OP's wishes. My DSis, who also has form for asking and then totally ignoring the suggestions, refused to just give money on the grounds that, "I like to give a present not just money!" She also refused the offer of paying for something I'd already bought. Tbh, I think these people get a kick out of being awkward and difficult. Sad really!

A deliberate act of sabotage
She's done it to stress you out
Mind games
I know someone like this, suffice to say I don't give them any info on gift buying

My mum used to do the same thing to me as a child and then my children ,but not to my other siblings or any of their kids though. It wasn't about the money or being scatter brained for her, she was just bloody mean spirited and got a kick out of it.

I hate this. Your mum is completely out of line.

some batshit posts here. Kids are allowed to get the present they have asked for if it is affordable (which in this case it is for her mum).

if granny didn’t want to get the exact present then she shouldn’t have promised to get it.

she clearly thinks she knows better - so why did she even bother to ask for an idea?

I've experienced this before when I was asked what my child wanted for Xmas, I gave full details of two small items and the person didn't bother to try and get them at all. They were sold out in the main toystore by the time they looked and they didn't even tell me they couldn't get them until I asked them Christmas week.
In the end, I had to order the toys from two different websites with fast shipping so there wasn't serious disappointment on Xmas morning.
When they ask now they're told to get a voucher.

Just WOW! I'm so glad I didn't have a parent like you!

Next year either 1) go shopping with your mum to get the birthday presents, 2) get the present for your mum, have her pay you back and give it to her to wrap up or 3) let her do her own thing but don’t allow her to get any of the important presents. It will be much less stress!

for some people giving is not about the person they're buying the gift for, but all about themselves and their ego's 😢

I would be furious too. So what was the plan? Give her DGD the wrong castle? And then she gets upset when her DGD isn't suitably grateful? To steal attention from her DGD?

This is the sort of shit my DM used to pull with me.

Well now you know - get the thing that matters yourself and suggest your mum gets something else. She just wasn't going to follow instructions.
I had a related experience once - wanted a Cindy doll and was given a baby doll I really didn't want. Very disappointing.

When this is over OP, sit and have a massive think about why you allowed this to happen. You know your mum, you know DD. You wanted your mum to want to do the right thing but realistically she was never going to do that. Your mum buying your DD the right thing was your pink princess castle. Focus on your child, you give her the best pressie every year and let you mum choose her own crap gifts. You and DD will laugh about it when she is older.

"Reinforce it"?

The child likes pink.

Why shouldn't she have pink?

It's not "reinforcing" anything. - it's getting her a gift that she's asked for and will get enjoyment from.

In the same way that there's nothing wrong with boys liking pink, and girls liking grey, there's also nothing wrong with GIRLS liking pink, and BOYS liking grey.

I'd be fuming.. my Grandsons other Grandma does this.. especially with Lego.. they get that cheap crap imitation.
He doesn't play with it.
I always buy exactly what they want. Did with my own

Obviously this is no help for right now, but as you said she also messed up at Christmas I'd suggest going forwards you don't tell her what DD wants/what you are getting if you don't want her to sabotage it. Maybe say DD isn't sure yet but would love money/vouchers to spend herself. Then if she feels that this is too impersonal you could maybe take her along when DD spends her money so she feels involved in the experience but doesn't influence DD to get something she doesn't like.

Maybe your daughter likes the one your mum bought. You never know what kids would like all of a sudden 🙂

I think you’re right tbh. Another poster had a better idea: buy the present for the Grandma, give it to her to wrap and Grandma pays mum.
My 4 year old granddaughter has suddenly become very picky about toys, clothes etc so I buy EXACTLY what her mum asks for. so I do - but I’m normal lol 😀

My MIL used to do the same, I rapidly learned not to ask for anything important. Good luck!

Maybe but why would you take the risk? Why would you even consider buying something that isn't what the child has set her heart on? My gut feeling is that she wouldn't like it as she really wants the specific pink one. I would do exactly what the OP has done and buy the castle myself. I would also be requesting that my mother returned the other one.

I hate when this happens! Id much rather just get the present myself lol.
also, can we please see what my silly dog is posting ? Loads of deleted across loads of posts. I’m intrigued as to what they have to say lol

Bring your gift back and get her the castle. If your mother says anything, say in a neutral voice that you got your daughter the castle she asked for. Then say nothing more, and just repeat that sentence if she tries to "explain".