AIBU for not wanting to sleep in the garden

[Captaincarnoustie]

Sounds a bit obvious when you put it like that 🤣 but opinions welcome. Being intentionally vague on age genders etc as SIL is on Mumsnet.

YABU - suck it up and sleep in the damn tent
YANBU - the only thing I like to bring camping is a hotel room

We’re a mixed family but have been together a while (5years) and we have a big family get together coming up over Easter hols and it’s myself, partner, and a bio kid each, attending. Hosted by my partners parents.

Lots of family coming from a very drivable distance but we are not - at least 3h drive one way and it’s very rural so no airbnbs etc nearby we have always just stayed over at the hosts house and it’s been good.

we got told today that because “older family members are coming over and they want to drink and have to take priority” we have to set up a tent in the garden instead of having an actual bed, hot water etc. I’m thinking … nope 👎 That sounds like my personal definition of hell, and just no. I am just keen to make our polite excuses, however partner thinks we should still go.

I’ve suggested they go themselves but they think it would cause “drama and speculation” about our relationship if they go and I don’t (tbf it would) and offend them if we decline because they told us about this months ago.

AIBU?

Well in the absence of any information to the contrary, it's a fairly safe assumption to make tbf!

You can't come here and sleep in a garden at this time of year. You'd freeze even in August, never mind at Easter. Tell em to get fucked reet off. Isn't there a premier inn or Travelodge nearby?

hell to the no from me too!

If it's 3 hours then what you need to do is one of you do the drive up there early in the morning whilst the other sleeps in the passenger seat. Stay for a long day. The other person do the 3 hour drive back in the evening.

You still see everyone on the main day, your visit is just the day.

And no bloody way would you catch me sleeping in anyone's garden at Easter. Or ever actually.

Nothing which involves a Porta_Loo is fun, ever. UANBU

It is incredibly rude to prioritise people, who live close by because they want a drink. This would be a hard no from me. They don’t care about offending you… or you comfort / safety. Don’t concern yourself about offending them.

"But if we dont go they might question our relationship!"

"If you try to insist that we do, I will question our relationship. CHOOSE"

Why on earth would you do this??

Like, what's in it for you??

I don’t mind the cold, I do mind anything that isn’t a proper bed. So camping, sofas, the floor, are all out.

I would find a hotel or not attend.

Why can't you just be honest and say Hey we're really sorry but we've had several long discussions as a family about the sleeping arrangements for the event and ultimately we think we'll really struggle with camping out in the garden as camping isn't something we enjoy in general, the weather will be freezing due to the time of year, and we don't want to put a dampener on what is meant to be an enjoyable event - we understand that elderly guests will need to be indoors and that's totally fine! Just explaining why camping out in the garden won't be feasible for us. Apologies.

Idk something like that doesn't sound bad at all to me?

YANBU- it doesn't work for you. Your partner can go and just tell people you drew the line at camping in the garden.

Can you stay in the house of one of the relatives who have the beds?

If it was just me and DP, the back door was unlocked for us to go in and use the bathroom, the garden is clean and theres no resident dog that uses it, and i didn't have to put the tent up myself, then actually, i think i'd really enjoy this. Get a cheap blow up double mattress, and loads of blankets and pillows, and even look to see if i could find a small, cheapish fire pit, and i'd have my own personal little bonfire outdoors, plus i adore the sound of rain, thunderstorms etc so would even improve it for me if i were raining when i was going to sleep. Appreciate it's not everyones taste though, and i wouldn't want to do it with kids, or if i had to do the work to errect the tent, or if garden is regularly used by a resident dog as a toilet. Access to proper toilet and running water would also be essential, no being locked out for "security" of the house.

I like camping and have camped in April but the weather was unusually warm and it was booked last minute. Plus we have things like 4 season sleeping bags.

There's not a chance in hell I'd be camping in these circumstances. April can have really unpredictable weather, it could even snow.

😂

Not in a MILLION years would I sleep in someone’s fucking garden.
Not in a MILLION years would I invite someone to sleep in my garden either.

@Captaincarnoustie

I quite like camping and would sleep in a tent or could you :

1. hire a camper van
2. camp indoors, in a living room or dining room? I’ve slept in a kitchen on an air bed before…

No way would I stay in a tent at any time of year and especially not in Scotland.

Nope to all of that from me, I would tell partner that I'm absolutely not doing it - he can if he wants but I'm not

I wouldn't want to camp in their yard, my body needs a real bed and a bathroom near by, so I would turn that suggestion down.
My aunt sectioned off her diningroom (bedrooms were all full) for emergency putting up relatives sometimes. We stayed in it for xmas once. In the improvised bedroon. I think we were on camp cots.

Wouldn't she be able to find a corner to squeeze you inside?

It could be snowing!!!

The local family should go home and not sleep over, how selfish can sonebody be. Alcohol should not be more imprtant than peoples comfort.

Haha, absolutely this 😅

My thoughts exactly. I live a 3hr drive from the nearest city. 1.25hr drive from the nearest town. There's still holiday accommodation in our tiny village!