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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for not wanting to sleep in the garden

292 replies

Captaincarnoustie · 15/03/2024 19:07

Sounds a bit obvious when you put it like that 🤣 but opinions welcome. Being intentionally vague on age genders etc as SIL is on Mumsnet.

YABU - suck it up and sleep in the damn tent
YANBU - the only thing I like to bring camping is a hotel room

We’re a mixed family but have been together a while (5years) and we have a big family get together coming up over Easter hols and it’s myself, partner, and a bio kid each, attending. Hosted by my partners parents.

Lots of family coming from a very drivable distance but we are not - at least 3h drive one way and it’s very rural so no airbnbs etc nearby we have always just stayed over at the hosts house and it’s been good.

we got told today that because “older family members are coming over and they want to drink and have to take priority” we have to set up a tent in the garden instead of having an actual bed, hot water etc. I’m thinking … nope 👎 That sounds like my personal definition of hell, and just no. I am just keen to make our polite excuses, however partner thinks we should still go.

I’ve suggested they go themselves but they think it would cause “drama and speculation” about our relationship if they go and I don’t (tbf it would) and offend them if we decline because they told us about this months ago.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Baldieheid · 15/03/2024 19:21

Captaincarnoustie · 15/03/2024 19:19

were going northwest as well … 🥶

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Jeezus, no. Are they trying to kill you????

I believe this is where the saying "awa' an bile yer heid" is the perfect response.

PhoenixReincarnated · 15/03/2024 19:22

I've slept in a tent once and only once. It was one night and a work thing I couldn't get out of. Never again! YADNBU

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 15/03/2024 19:22

“offend them if we decline because they told us about this months ago. “

but you didn’t know about the tent until today! I’d just be direct and text them: ‘sorry, I was really looking forward to the event but won’t be sleeping in a tent at this time of year’.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/03/2024 19:23

Not in a million years. I hate camping.

HowDoWeDoThisPlease · 15/03/2024 19:23

Can’t you hire a camper van/motorhome for a few days?

Original poster
Captaincarnoustie · 15/03/2024 19:25

HowDoWeDoThisPlease · 15/03/2024 19:23

Can’t you hire a camper van/motorhome for a few days?

Yes but that’s expensive too I believe, and ultimately spending money on something I don’t want to go to in the first place 😝

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 15/03/2024 19:25

No way I’d be sleeping in a tent in the U.K. at the end of March. A caravan of camper van at a push, but absolutely not a tent. Up to your partner if he goes with the child (who care what they say about your relationship, just say I don’t want to sleep in a tent in March when it could snow!), but I wouldn’t be going

Bearbookagainandagain · 15/03/2024 19:29

No chance I'm camping in the garden in April!

Concestor · 15/03/2024 19:32

Captaincarnoustie · 15/03/2024 19:25

Yes but that’s expensive too I believe, and ultimately spending money on something I don’t want to go to in the first place 😝

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Just don't go. If your partner isn't supportive of that then he can go, but he can't force you to. There's no way on earth I would agree to this, even on a tropical island. I do not camp.

KreedKafer · 15/03/2024 19:32

If it was the height of summer, likely to be dry, and they had set up a decent tent, bedding and a chemical loo for you, I might agree to it just for a laugh with my husband and kids. But three hours north west of Carnoustie, in March? And/or setting it up yourself? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It would be hideous. (Actually, it would also be awful even in summer to be honest. Imagine the midges.)

Also, I think some posters saying “Oh, there must be somewhere affordable to stay nearby, nowhere’s that remote!” definitely don’t have clear idea of how unpopulated vast swathes of the Highlands are!

Kitkatfiend31 · 15/03/2024 19:33

Surely there's a travel lodge or premier inn 45 min away? Or a pub with rooms? Try booking.com if you haven't already.

wurtle · 15/03/2024 19:36

What happens if it is raining a lot?

menopausalmare · 15/03/2024 19:36

I would rather have a smear test than go camping so you have my permission to stay home and scoff chocolate.

Saschka · 15/03/2024 19:38

wurtle · 15/03/2024 19:36

What happens if it is raining a lot?

She’s going somewhere near the Cairngorms, there will probably be snow…

OhmygodDont · 15/03/2024 19:42

The highlands? Yeah I change my post. Fuck that 😂

DancefloorAcrobatics · 15/03/2024 19:44

So how are the sleeping arrangements?
Is there a spare bedroom for the elderly family members?
Sitting room and sofa taken too?
Dining room?
Honestly I'd say take an airbed and sleeping bag and try to set up camp in another room in the house!
(DC & D H can sleep in the tent!!)

WhatAMessAgain123 · 15/03/2024 19:44

Without any doubt in the world, you stay home. Partner can do as they please! Can’t believe they think it’s acceptable to relegate you to the garden. Don’t worry for a second what they might think.

NotQuiteNorma · 15/03/2024 19:47

DoggieMommie · 15/03/2024 19:16

Can't you sleep on your air mattress in the dining room or something?

Exactly, why can't you just sleep on the floor?

Lifebeganat50 · 15/03/2024 19:47

Captaincarnoustie · 15/03/2024 19:19

were going northwest as well … 🥶

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Fuck that for a game of soldiers!

justthecat · 15/03/2024 19:47

Not a chance

QueSyrahSyrah · 15/03/2024 19:47

Hell would freeze over before I'd go. DH however wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Shinyandnew1 · 15/03/2024 19:49

I’ve suggested they go themselves but they think it would cause “drama and speculation” about our relationship if they go and I don’t (tbf it would) and offend them if we decline because they told us about this months ago.

I wouldn’t give a shiny shite if they gossiped about our relationship! Tell them your relationship is fine and you were happy to come when they invited you months ago, but now they’ve told you that you are kipping in the garden, you have changed your mind and will be sleeping at home in your bed.

What’s the worst that can happen? They could bitch about you to all of the other guests who got an invite to sleep in a house I suppose, but I’m fairly sure none of them would have wanted to sleep in a garden either.

Original poster
Captaincarnoustie · 15/03/2024 19:51

NotQuiteNorma · 15/03/2024 19:47

Exactly, why can't you just sleep on the floor?

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No idea… I’m guessing because they secretly hate us at this point.

OP posts:
Original poster
Captaincarnoustie · 15/03/2024 19:53

KreedKafer · 15/03/2024 19:32

If it was the height of summer, likely to be dry, and they had set up a decent tent, bedding and a chemical loo for you, I might agree to it just for a laugh with my husband and kids. But three hours north west of Carnoustie, in March? And/or setting it up yourself? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It would be hideous. (Actually, it would also be awful even in summer to be honest. Imagine the midges.)

Also, I think some posters saying “Oh, there must be somewhere affordable to stay nearby, nowhere’s that remote!” definitely don’t have clear idea of how unpopulated vast swathes of the Highlands are!

Quite - it’s very rural indeed and the only “nearby” airbnbs are 30/40m drive and VERY pricey ….

OP posts:
llamadrama16 · 15/03/2024 19:53

I would, considering it's just in the garden so you have access to a proper kitchen and bathroom! Not really camping tbh.