AIBU for not wanting to sleep in the garden

[Captaincarnoustie]

Sounds a bit obvious when you put it like that 🤣 but opinions welcome. Being intentionally vague on age genders etc as SIL is on Mumsnet.

YABU - suck it up and sleep in the damn tent
YANBU - the only thing I like to bring camping is a hotel room

We’re a mixed family but have been together a while (5years) and we have a big family get together coming up over Easter hols and it’s myself, partner, and a bio kid each, attending. Hosted by my partners parents.

Lots of family coming from a very drivable distance but we are not - at least 3h drive one way and it’s very rural so no airbnbs etc nearby we have always just stayed over at the hosts house and it’s been good.

we got told today that because “older family members are coming over and they want to drink and have to take priority” we have to set up a tent in the garden instead of having an actual bed, hot water etc. I’m thinking … nope 👎 That sounds like my personal definition of hell, and just no. I am just keen to make our polite excuses, however partner thinks we should still go.

I’ve suggested they go themselves but they think it would cause “drama and speculation” about our relationship if they go and I don’t (tbf it would) and offend them if we decline because they told us about this months ago.

AIBU?

Not for me...no way would I be sleeping in a tent. If the only thing on offer was a bloody tent then
Id not be going OP and if your partner won't go without you then it's tough titty for him. You offered him to go without you ..you gave him the chance

Is anyone driving to their nearer home after the party? If so could you stay with them?

I agree.

Wave DC & DH off on their camping trip and have yourself a fuckung awesome few days 🤩

Good choice not to go. A few years back, a colleague got married in Italy with just close family and friends in attendance. Two months later they have a huge party to celebrate their wedding, lovely but we along with many others slept in a tent in a field, hardly shut my eyes as it was freezing cold and this was Wiltshire in August!

This.
I’d decline to go, have Easter at home and your husband should back you rather than attend without you

I’d let him go but wouldn’t let kids go… wouldn’t let them get so cold either and expevt them to do something I won’t do

@Captaincarnoustie

a bit sulkily however I am now actively encouraging partner to go and camp in the tent.

Good move OP. If he really believes it's a good idea and you're causing unnecessary fuss he'll very happily continue with the original plan but without you and your child. After all, he wouldn't want to look like a hypocrite, would he? 🌹

Just no 🤣 not happening .
Thats really rude of them to drop this on you last minute really

If the only thing on offer was a bloody tent then Id not be going OP

They're not even offering by a tent - they're expecting OP and her partner to provide this themselves plus everything else they'll need and, after a long drive, do the setting up in the garden themselves. OP's managed to pass up on this idea and isn't going and her DP is sulking. 🌹

I think the OP is bering very sensible. I like camping, but:

Am in the West Highlands this minute. Just a couple of days ago we woke up to a very heavy white frost - water frozen solid in garden tubs left outside, ice on puddles, snow on the hills etc etc. It's simply not overnight camping weather without serious and expensive kit.

As previous posters have said (a) more cold weather is forecast for later in March and (b) it has been a very wet winter. There are still some parts of our garden - on a steep slope, that normally drains well - that are too wet and muddy to walk on. Is the garden site suggested for OP's tent actually dry enough yet?

In spite of the cold, the Highlands' secret weapon is already active. Ticks !!!! I did a lot of garden tidying up over the weekend and - in spite of gloves and long sleeves and elasticated coat cuffs - they got in and I had to remove three from my arm yesterday evening. I didn't even sit on the grass - I was working standing up. I would absolutely hate to sleep on the ground at the moment.

Re hotels, AirB&B etc - as the OP has said, there really are very few of them and they are all small and they get booked up months in advance. And - because everyone needs a car (ideally one that's good in ice and snow) - there are NO taxis within 40 miles of our village or in very many other remote areas.

Ticks would be the final nail in the coffin for me.

Totally understand why you wouldn't want to. As a camper, not as much now, there are sleeping bags that get so hot you have to unzip them after a few minutes! You can keep warm easily with the right equipment and the blow up to normal bed height beds are so comfortable. However of course if you don't already have these things then duvets and blankets, still a hassle I know. Xx

Well, I think your only reasonable response to their requirements is:

No.
No.
By the way, did I say no?
Fuck off.

That should cover it.

Ticks in this weather of minus 2? I thought cockroaches were hard ...
shudders

A big nope from me unless we could take the motorhome. I don't do tents.

Ticks actually could be the final nail in your coffin so bugger that for a game of soldiers. Fatalities are rare fortunately but the after-effects can be permanent.