AIBU for not wanting to sleep in the garden

[Captaincarnoustie]

Sounds a bit obvious when you put it like that 🤣 but opinions welcome. Being intentionally vague on age genders etc as SIL is on Mumsnet.

YABU - suck it up and sleep in the damn tent
YANBU - the only thing I like to bring camping is a hotel room

We’re a mixed family but have been together a while (5years) and we have a big family get together coming up over Easter hols and it’s myself, partner, and a bio kid each, attending. Hosted by my partners parents.

Lots of family coming from a very drivable distance but we are not - at least 3h drive one way and it’s very rural so no airbnbs etc nearby we have always just stayed over at the hosts house and it’s been good.

we got told today that because “older family members are coming over and they want to drink and have to take priority” we have to set up a tent in the garden instead of having an actual bed, hot water etc. I’m thinking … nope 👎 That sounds like my personal definition of hell, and just no. I am just keen to make our polite excuses, however partner thinks we should still go.

I’ve suggested they go themselves but they think it would cause “drama and speculation” about our relationship if they go and I don’t (tbf it would) and offend them if we decline because they told us about this months ago.

AIBU?

YANBU - it’s not even planned for the summer so will be freezing overnight! Unless you generally enjoy camping/are a camping family and everyone knows this, it’s a totally unacceptable request from them! I wouldn’t go.

If it was set up for me, I'd probably go and try to unleash my dormant adventurous side!
However I wouldn't be keen on setting everything up after a long drive or at all really.
Anyway, there surely must be somewhere you could stay reasonably nearby?

If you can run an electric hook up to have a heater I’d make it an adventure for the children. If you cannot well then I’d nope right out of that plan.

it can’t be that remote that there isn’t somewhere to stay?

YANBU. Sure they told you about the event months ago, but they told you that you’d be sleeping in a tent today!

They’ve changed the arrangement, so they can’t be offended when you’ve changed your mind because of that.

I’d be offended that someone expected me to sleep in a tent 😂

Hire a camper van/ motor home for the weekend? Warm and comfy beds. And a toilet.

I can't imagine a situation where I'd be that desperate to visit inlaws.

I would offer to not drink and taxi other family members. Would that work? I’d far rather drive at midnight than sleep in a tent.

No party on earth is worth freezing your tits off !
Tell your partner that your relationship is only worth worrying about if s/he doesn't accept that you have the right to say no to things that are fucking ridiculous.

Not a chance in hell I’d be doing that.

The other family members could choose not to drink, or could get a taxi, if they live closer.

I’d take it as evidence of who they prioritise and not bother going again.

Even an Airbnb an hour away would be better than a tent.

There must be somewhere to stay within 30 mins??
It would be v cold overnight!

Hell no.

Not a chance on the green earth that I would drive 3+ hours to sleep in a fecking tent so a more local person can down their bodyweight in margaritas and avoid paying for a taxi.

Nope. I'd not stop partner doing it with both kids. In fact, I'd encourage it. Night off for me!

Can't you sleep on your air mattress in the dining room or something?

They've basically uninvited you by removing your sleeping option. It's very rude of them! I would be angry and hurt and no way would I sleep in a tent in the garden!

Unless they are providing you with a luxury yurt, which I doubt.

Gosh it's just so rude!!

No way would I be sleeping in a tent, it will be freezing in April.
Partner can go if they want, but I’d decline (with the reason) for me and my child.
Do you have a WhatsApp group? Someone along the lines of “really sorry to decline, but with my bad back/hips/shoulder I cannot sleep on the ground. I hope you all have a lovely evening”

In theory yes it’s a great idea but in-laws means I need to drink to get through the night 🤣 partner on the other hand … 🤔

Oh and if your user name indicates location in ANY way.....fuck that for a game of soldiers. You'll freeze to death!

That would be a hard no from me. Can you find a local b&b?

I’ve looked into airbnb but timing and short notice means the only ones nearby (a good 30-40m drive) have a hot tub and are over a grand.

Then you have your answer. He can remain sober and drive and you get a bed! So happy to help.

Ask if you can stay at one of the oldies' homes who live within driving distance?

were going northwest as well … 🥶

So instead of forking out for a few taxis you get a tent in the garden, despite being the only people driving any distance?

Fuck no! Stay home and let them gossip.

I won't even sleep in a tent in my own garden and my DH and kids are very much looking forward to doing so in the summer in our new garden.

They can crack on, mummy will be enjoying having the bed to herself!